• A bee assassin tried to kill me this morning.
    183 replies, posted
I got up to face another day, jumped out of bed and started to put my clothes on, as I was putting my shirt on I got a sharp pinch in my arm then a pulsating sting. I quickly pulled off my shirt, threw it on the floor and then stood just replaying what happened and figuring out what the fuck I should do now, I went into the bathroom to check it was only a bee sting, yes it was. I went back to my room and scanned it for any dead bees/wasps, no dice, so I shook my shirt a few times and nothing came out. I was then about to put it on when a medium sized bee started waltzing out of my shirt, it couldn't fly. So the bee assassin hidden in my clothes did fail to kill me, luckily I am here to tell the tale, the bee in question was missing half it's body (the stinger clearly non-existent ) and unable to fly died shortly after, I decided to take one last picture to print and put on my wall, to warn off any other bees who think they have what it takes to take on the fucking doctor. [img]http://gyazo.com/714e8108ea5aae78e9de12c8762365f5.png[/img] This is also a warning to others, careful when putting your clothes on after hanging them out to dry, a bee assassin could try to take your life, and you'll never know why.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4MqTCIDKhU[/media]
Murder. That poor bee :smith:
You say you are warning them but what you don't realize is that the bee was simply marking you as a target. The swarm will be there by dawn.
Throw the carcass back to their colony. Let it be a lesson for them.
That bee is now a martyr to the other bees. You won't even need to put on clothes tomorrow. You will wake up covered in bees.
Pin the body to a wall, that will teach the bees to not fuck with you.
I wait eagerly for the bees.
[QUOTE=David Tennant;30194441]I wait eagerly for the bees.[/QUOTE] I hope you're prepared.
The Daleks sent it
Where I'm from, people don't put their clothes out to dry. We use these fancy new fangled devices called "clothes driers". It's a good bee preventative, as they generally can't get into clothes, and get fried during the drying process. Burnt, charred insect corpses left on porch railings and on the inside of windows scares off any future intruders, as they look inside and see their comrades dried shells.
You must understand that now this means war.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnd0qg4I_MM[/media] This will happen tomorrow But replace the soviets with bees.
Stay away from artificial banana flavored candy, it smells just like their attack pheromone.
[QUOTE=Detective P;30194483]Where I'm from, people don't put their clothes out to dry. We use these fancy new fangled devices called "clothes driers". It's a good bee preventative, as they generally can't get into clothes, and get fried during the drying process. Burnt, charred insect corpses left on porch railings and on the inside of windows scares off any future intruders, as they look inside and see their comrades dried shells.[/QUOTE] We still use tokens for electric, every-time it runs out the electricity in the house just stops, the lights and sockets turn off, then we have to walk down the nearest garage and top it up.
[QUOTE=David Tennant;30194509]We still use tokens for electric, every-time it runs out the electricity goes and we have to walk down the nearest garage and top it up.[/QUOTE] I don't know what that means, but it sounds like you need to stop livin in the country, boi. That's bee territory, and you seem to lack basic resources for survival against their swarms.
[QUOTE=Detective P;30194561]I don't know what that means, but it sounds like you need to stop livin in the country, boi. That's bee territory, and you seem to lack basic resources for survival against their swarms.[/QUOTE] I live in Leeds, England's northern major city.
I stepped on a bee once. Barefoot. :argh:
I used to get these evil black demon wasp assassin's in my room. I'd use my RAID liquid flak cannon to take them out of the air, while immobilized and stinging in every direction I get them on a sheet of paper and slide them into a daddy long legs web in my room. A truce has been made. He gets free no hassle food, and his brothers stay away from my room. [IMG]http://www.whatsthatbug.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/great_black_wasp_carnage_evan-300x228.jpg[/IMG] A picture of such intruder. Be on the look out. Also, on a side note: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L54exo8JTUs[/media] 30 Giant hornets vs 30,000 bees. The war lasts 3 hours. Hornets win.
I don't see why people hate bees They're beneficial and they don't harm you unless you harm/threaten them plus they're adorable :3: [img]http://bees4communities.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/bumblebee.jpg[/img] look at it! wasps and hornets on the other hand...
I'm fucking terrified of bees, regardless of type. I was stung on the throat by one when I was like 11 and they've terrified me ever since. :smith:
Agent Tango has failed his mission. Looks like we'll have to send agents Beta, Zulu, Foxtrot and Gamma. Expect company soon, OP
Instead of putting them off, you have now strengthened their resolve against you.
The following morning... [img]http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/094/126/95ccd92fcbcf0e06c1d97c7750d97eef.gif?1295473637[/img]
Holy shit it's David Tennant. :love:
You just have to bee ready for anything these days.
[QUOTE=Detective P;30194483]Where I'm from, people don't put their clothes out to dry. We use these fancy new fangled devices called "clothes driers". It's a good bee preventative, as they generally can't get into clothes, and get fried during the drying process. Burnt, charred insect corpses left on porch railings and on the inside of windows scares off any future intruders, as they look inside and see their comrades dried shells.[/QUOTE] Why would waste electricity using a drier if it's nice enough outside to dry your clothes on a line? Unless you live in one of those neighborhoods where clotheslines are banned because they "ruin the aesthetics." We have a few of them here.
Someone wants you dead OP and they obviously have control over the bees. THE FLOWERS ARE TRYING TO MURDER YOU MAN.
I hate that. I once had a bee in my pant leg.
[QUOTE=Papayas;30194854]The following morning... [img]http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/094/126/95ccd92fcbcf0e06c1d97c7750d97eef.gif?1295473637[/img][/QUOTE] Movie name due to my retardedness?
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