• Most awkward pooping experience in your life
    9 replies, posted
Any moment in your life
I don't poop
When it splashes in public.
When you think it's just going to be a fart, and lo and behold you got poo-pants.
cubicle was taken, so I used a urinal
Expect a nice poo but then it ends up sounding like rammstein show on acid. With people around you else it wouldn't be fun. Damn you mexican food.
My contribution to the embarrassing situations thread, September 2012. [QUOTE=sphinxa279]Fuck one literally just happened, made my own Pickled eggs and pickled beetroot at home a while ago (With Chillis in the vinegar as well) and remembered I had them last night so I went through a good 8 pickled eggs and quite a few beetroots. Fast forward to about 10 minutes ago, at work, needed a shit incredibly bad, it felt like the great god Zeus himself was trying to force himself out of my arse, I hastily made my way to the gents toilets, oh god, they're occupied, fuck it, ladies toilets here I come, the god will not be a prisoner no longer, assume the position on the toilet and let loose the most violent and painful shit I have ever experienced, I was shaking from the pure force of it. Proceed to finish up, wipe, flush, wash hands, about to walk out of the door, "Not today you fucker." ROUND TWO. Belt undone, jeans dropped, clenching the toilet and preparing for round two, as soon as I begin, The fucking door opens and lo and behold one of the ladies from an office upstairs walks in, she stands there in shock and pure terror, I freak out tell her to get out try to close the door, forget I'm still unleashing a violent beast from the depths of my bowels, get off the toilet, shit everywhere around the bowl, on the seat and some on the floor. The pure amount of embarrassment I have just felt is absolutely horrible, I cleaned everything up and I'm now at home, curled up in my bed, feeling shame, embarrassment and regret for ever eating those fucking eggs and beetroot. it just occurred to me that I unlocked the door just as I was about to leave after the first battle with Zeus and then round two hit me and I completely forgot about the fucking lock.[/QUOTE]
I had been drinking for the last three days at a festival, eating pizza and thai-food. And the final day the moment finally came. So i went to a gas station to use their toilet. It all started with a shotgun blast of shit and followed up with the Niagara Falls of water. Sweat was pouring from my back. And after almost twenty minutes of pain I flushed and opened the door to some Finnish guy that looked me in the eyes and said "Thanks". And one time I had to take a shit outside on a snow mobile track, and after the first floom of doom i changed spot to the other side of the track and continued shitting, so the drivers that would ride by that day couldn't avoid it.
recently my mother was cleaning the bathroom window so I had to pull off a tactical sideways leaning-away-from-the-window shit it worked but i dont know if it was worth it
I somehow had a constipation combined with diarrhea and after first was out it literally sounded like a bang and when I turned around everything was dirty, there even was some shit on the toilet lid.
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