• Help me.
    1 replies, posted
I am attempting to join the police department in San Andreas Next Generation Roleplay, I would like someone to write me a extremely dramatic life biography since most of the application is revolved around it. I will give the person who does it a copy of Dota 2, I would do it but I'm not good at creating story's due to my limited vocabulary. My Characters name is Jonny Diem and I'm 21 years old 350 Words. [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Undescriptive thread title." - postal))[/highlight]
Turnips... the earliest childhood memory I have, the bad taste of turnips made me anal, and my family were gothic.. my father was spending the year dead for tax reasons, And potatoes were the family's only way to earn dicks... When i were six I were sent to live with my evil uncle otto in a castle because my whole family contracted lupus. Otto was in some mysterous business that involved him spending a lot of time in the sewers. He taught i how to dig up corpses and sell them to medical experimenters. But that was just his hobby.The same experimenters that perfected the art of zombification. At nine he was killed by a tribe of fruitbats in an aphrodisiac deal gone horribly wrong, They were very sorry afterwards and took i in and raised i as one of their own, They couldn't understand why i coudln't fly, They weren't very intelligent bats, but they loved i.As a result i have a serious sexual fixation on bats.Ir first love was a vampire bat. He taught i to fight with two swords and biting, still my preferred style. After my lover was mortally wounded in a mistaken identity revenge attack for the deeds of another vampire, his spirit posessed my penis, which i never take off so i can hear his voice.Ir life's mission has become tracking down the vampire responsible and causing him or her pain.But along the way, i became a sparkly werewolf. And encountered Colonel Armstrong, who gave i the SCTD: Sparkly Contact-transmitted Disease. I soon found my penis lusting for blood.And became impotend for all but mensturating womenOr anally bleeding men. nick cage he asks i to help him find his cake, so i go on a cockslapping quest....Cage came screaming in wanting his cake, so i vampire cock slap him. then he became a vampire too I were killed by a necromancer and ressurected in the form of a beautiful female, for his pleasure. But my posessed penis grew back. On my nose.
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