• An essay I wrote about Obama and his presidency
    53 replies, posted
The presidential campaign of Barack Obama leading up to the 2008 election was a vigorous and inspiring one. He offered lots of ideas and got everyone all worked up to get the change going. It was looking good, if you know what I mean. But- oh look at that- Obama hasn’t changed much. You know? He was al like “hey guys we gotta change and hope and stuff” but funny enough...the guy isn’t changing much in the realm of foreign policy. He is practically continuing the Bush Administration. I guess the reason I am saying this is because of a recent turn of events. Recently, President Obama authorized the assassination of American-born Muslim cleric Alawi Al-Awlaki (currently suspected to be hiding in Yemen) on charges of suspected involvement in Al-Qaeda terrorist action. The use of the word ‘suspected’ to validate the state-sponsored execution of a U.S. citizen is baffling –if not fitting- when one considers the mass of constitutional violation that this action is perpetrating. Seeing as the 5th amendment was already broken in giving Al-Alwaki no trial, the necessity to give a concrete charge other than ‘suspected involvement’ is negligible. What the acceptance of ‘suspected terrorism’ reflects is much like what the use of words like ‘probably’ and ‘most likely’ do- a governmental attitude of indifference towards justifying its means. Of course, this kind of unchecked action can only move in a distracted or uninterested social climate, so apparently the average American can accept ‘suspected terrorism’ as a justification for execution. The parallels of this political behavior to the former US era of McCarthyism are apparent, as finger pointing and human rights infringement are thrown about all while a positive, progressive agenda is purported. At the same time, the path of our current political affairs is leading towards much different changes than the public outcry against McCarthyism did. Instead of crying out against constitutional violation, the American public seems to be following a path into accepting rights infringement. In a way, the Obama administration is continuing a method of social conditioning and constitution bending that began nine and a half years ago under the bush administration – using the keyword: terror. The Obama administration’s progressive internal focus has led to a distracted socio-political climate. The campaign positions are focused on progressive alteration of American public institutions. Controversial bills like healthcare reform have been making debate and distraction socially from foreign affairs. I mean, everyone is talking so loud and no one is paying attention to what is going on outside the country. Well some people are, but not enough, that is for sure. I am just getting so crazy tired of all this rabble rabble. It doesn’t do anything but get in the way of real progress. The Obama administration is actually continuing Bush Policy, except with a progressive sheen about it, making the left quiet and accepting. The foreign policy set up under Bush concerning US citizens killed offshore has continued under the Obama presidency. The troop surge in Afghanistan shows a commitment to war. The left focuses on his internal US reform efforts. Back to the war…we are so freakin stuck in Afghanistan. But hey, also we are going to get into a war with Yemen in no time. It is okay, because we can just keep using drones and helicopters to bomb all the civilians (and maybe a member of al-Qaeda); The ordering of execution without trial of American citizen is a violation of the 5th amendment of the constitution. The 5th amendment grants US citizens the right to due process of law and a trail before depriving them of life, liberty, or property. So obviously Obama is doing something that is completely 100% not constitutions and remains rdicuslous. Obama is being so crazy hypocritical right now and it just wow, so wrong. I mean, what if I was legally assassinated for having beliefes that the government didn’t like? It would be so crazy wrong and just generally incorrect that I probably would freak out, well I guess I wouldn’t because I would be dead. But really, just no, Obama, no. That is not cool. Obama’s action is not constitutional, but given his whole deal, it is predictable. The guy is in it for America, no matter what the the party guys say. Obama is a man best characterized by the fact that he was drinking beer at the basketball game. I mean that is was the press likes to think, don’t they? That is what he is going for here. A finger-pointing beer-drinking president. It is just mindbogglin. I my mind is boggled and blown and stuff from hearing about this. So what is the dael with this Alawi Al-Awlaki guy anyway? Well apparaently he was born in Las Cruces, New Mexico. He was born and raised in the U, S, and A. But he is like an internet extremist now. He gets all the people to follow him because of his enigmatic talks in English, which lots of muslims can relate with. So eneveryone is like fllowing him and stuff just cuz he talks all rowdy about stuff. I mean, is that a reason he should be shot in the haed? I don’t think so. The CIA is all like: whoop ddoop doop we think he is involved in terrorist plots well guess what his dad says hes not what about that suckers??!? I have sources for that by the way I caould toitally make a citation right now and wyou guys would flip out and it would be rad like a tadpole. My old school piece of pie pineapple apple shake the bake does wake with a half ton of easybake. Okay guys lets just look athis opimteinstinjknskj rnoaen ovebersly. Just shbut up and listwen: Obama is so cool and I want to drink an beer with him. I just want to pet his dog. Me and his wife MICHELLE OBAMA could plant arugula in tha garden and then we could harvest it later and make a tasty vesty FUCK I meant zesty salad. Obama carries arugula in his pockets to munch on, you know [phil, 2010]. He is an elitist like I am (I carries arulga in my poeckts OMG THIS WOULD LEAD M eoto a ranjt about the greens which I love: arugula, collard greens, swiss chard, kale, broccoli leaves, boston lettuce, bak choy, spinach, fiddlehead ferns. Okay soo wone time I a was in the w woods with my moom and we were a=well not actually we well I am I was little and it was in upstate new york and we were climibing umm azure mountatin. So it was early in the spring a season and we ncollected fifd fiddlehead ferns. Then we went back to my grandpas’s cabin and we cooked um up in butter. OBama is commiting some okind of aft that is consderin wrong by the venereral nations of treatise and stuff and durr I du just I don’t know nayom==more. This is so important what I am about to say look right here maybe I wqill incease the boldness and size of the font to highlisgh t my point: [B]this is a point[/B]. Alright so lets me lay my cards on the table……oh shti they actually fell on to the floor. Wait lemme just lclean this up so I can talk to you about the eof Obama and assassinating people who are not having arugula. ,It is wreong;IT IS WRONG. This scourge must end spoon. I actually need to finish picking up these cards though. They are in the way of the soucgere. Ouhh, okay alright I’m like halfway done aokay. Here ZACH, help me pick up these cards. I no. No I don’t have any kings. Alright. END.
I read a few sentences and could already tell that this is terrible.
lots of grammar and spelling mistakes. It's hard to read..
So you're on the FUCK OBAMA bandwagon I see? P.S and I'm giving you some criticism here. I read the first 2-3 paragraphs of your essay and while I am a fan of Obama myself...you may want to look into Spellcheck. Seriously, you mis-spelled simple words.
agthe presdistental camghpin of abrakor obanfma leadinhign asup thareo 2008 elaicnayion wasd a vigoprosuh aasdam insapign onno
It's a bit too colloquial to be a quality essay.
This would probably get no more than a 1/6 on the LPI due to the lack of proofreading, an unclear thesis statement, weak conclusion and paragraphs that veer off-topic. Wait, that's not it, it's a bunch of unrelated blocks of text slapped together with no consistency.
EDIT: Troll post.
Bad idea to post essays on Facepunch.
You know what? Retract my previous post. You don't even use English. You mis-spelled an entire sentence and your points are stupid. I hope Obama executes you for capital murder! Capital murder of the English language in the 8th degree. And you make it seem too much like a conversation. You use some terms scattered about that seem like you're having more of a casual chat VS. an actual essay. Whoop tee doo or whatever you wrote back there for example.
what the fuck is with the latter half
This thing you call an essay looks like a fat debate forum post. EDIT: Made by a 8th grader
[QUOTE=King_of_Town;21748269] Okay guys lets just look athis opimteinstinjknskj rnoaen ovebersly..[/QUOTE] what
This is a fantastic essay, haters need to just shbut up and listwen
If I was a college professor or whoever the hell you're writing this for, I'd give you a -10/10. It needs major proof reading and try and get your point out clearer. You seemed to jump around a little bit and during parts you just got off topic or confusing due to typos or otherwise.
too colloquial
what [quote]Just shbut up and listwen: Obama is so cool and I want to drink an beer with him. I just want to pet his dog. Me and his wife MICHELLE OBAMA could plant arugula in tha garden and then we could harvest it later and make a tasty vesty FUCK I meant zesty salad. Obama carries arugula in his pockets to munch on, you know [phil, 2010]. He is an elitist like I am (I carries arulga in my poeckts OMG THIS WOULD LEAD M eoto a ranjt about the greens which I love: arugula, collard greens, swiss chard, kale, broccoli leaves, boston lettuce, bak choy, spinach, fiddlehead ferns.[/quote]
[QUOTE=Alyx Zark;21748496]If I was a college professor or whoever the hell you're writing this for, I'd give you a -10/10. It needs major proof reading and try and get your point out clearer. You seemed to jump around a little bit and during parts you just got off topic or confusing due to typos or otherwise.[/QUOTE] I think you should read the last few paragraphs and revise your marking, he makes some good points about gardening
-snip-[URL="http://forum.watmm.com/topic/55973-here-read-this-essay-i-wrote-aabout-obama/"] [/URL]
I wqill incease the boldness and size of the font to highlisgh t my point: [B]this is a point[/B]. edit: A++ for a good laugh.
you should turn that in, you'll get a really good grade
I think you lost a few brain cells along the way
[IMG]http://www.facepunch.com/image.php?u=78495&dateline=1263609399[/IMG]
Seriously, though, this is way too informal Also, you should almost never ask rhetorical questions in an essay. You want to tell someone to believe something and why they should.
Anyone got a tl;dr summary for this?
[QUOTE]The CIA is all like: whoop ddoop doop we think he is involved in terrorist plots well guess what his dad says hes not what about that suckers??![/QUOTE] Grade A++ writing son.
:bravo: grade A trolling.
Im not even gonna read it, thanks for doing my homework
hell yeah this essay ownss
Too many contractions, not formal enough for an essay. Work on it more.
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