• Help me change my life
    129 replies, posted
Hello facepunch, I have been lurking around for the last few days, and I've decided to ask for advice here, since I have nothing to lose I guess. Although this is my first post, please bear with me. My name is Zack, and for all of my 16 years of life, there is something that I have never actually cared about, being "popular", "cool" or even accepted, and I was happy with my small group of friends. Well, I'm sick of them now. Sick of who I am. My eyes have been opened, and the truth is blinding. I'm a loser to the eyes of my schoolmates (note, I never thought that I was popular or anything, I just thought that I was "there", you know?) Why were my eyes opened, you ask? Well, to make a long story short, a girl, who I begun talking to about 4 months ago. She's beautiful, lovely, etc. I asked her out (because I never thought that I was THAT bad), and she said no. I was crushed, as you may imagine. This got me thinking, "why would she say no? she has shown some interest, we had fun together talking and whatnot, and I'm not bad looking at all." and then I realized. No matter how much we like each other (if she liked me that way at all), someone as popular as her wouldn't be with a loser like me. I started analyzing 'why' I could be considered a loser, and what I saw I did not like. I'm quiet, you never see me outside school (and if you do see me at school, you probably don't notice). SO, I decided to change. This year I have been slowly but surely changing my ways, trying to talk to random people, and they actually seem to accept me, which makes me happy. There is still a lot of things to change, though. But, as much as I hate to say this, since it makes me a huge asshole, the main thing that is holding me back is my current group of friends, which is probably the lowest on the social spectrum of my school. Holy shit, I cannot stand them anymore. I just can't stand them, the things they do and say. We've grown apart I guess. Here is where this huge mind-clusterfuck begins for me. What the fuck do I do. Do I stay with my current group of friends, which bores the bejesus out of me, or do I try and 'force myself' into the more popular groups? I'm already friends with some of the popular people, singularly I get along with them just fine, but as soon as they begin hanging on a table or something I don't know how to approach them, since I feel like I'm an outsider, and that they won't like me there since I don't belong there. The excuse that I used to make about the more popular kids and why I didn't like them was that they were assholes, that they judged me and shit. i realized that I was judging them as well, and that the things that they did that "makes them assholes" I do to others as well, so I'm no different. NOTE: I'm not trying to change myself for them, nor am I conforming. I just want to break out of this cage, it didn't seem to bother me before. I also know that my realization of me being a loser is based on overannalayzing, but it made me realize that I hate my current life and I needed to change, so I guess it was a good thing. tl;dr a friend made a counterstrike map of the school, got arrested. Also, I realize my social life sucks, I hate the image everyone seems to have on for me, and I guess I want to be popular now.
You should have told that bitch to suck your dick instead of acting like a pussy and "asking her out".
Have sex with woman.
Just talk to them, grow sme fling balls
Asking fp is starting to seem like a bad idea actually. I thought you were advice-giving gentlemen.
[QUOTE=Akilla;21742955]Asking fp is starting to seem like a bad idea actually. I thought you were advice-giving gentlemen.[/QUOTE] Yeah, you were wrong. Also, I'm pretty much in the same position as you, except that I don't "hate" my current friends.
Man, I can't wait for 3 years to go by, and you then realize that all this, including the girl, won't matter one fucking bit. Just make friends and break friends. It's not the Paris Peace Talks, you don't have lay it out to them. EDIT: Although, kudos for liking Radiohead.
Don't try to be someone you're not. Stick to being yourself.
I bet your friends don't like you because they're boring to you.
rape her
Listen- sometimes this stuff may happen. You really should be good with friends, think about it are they gonna stab you in the back like a more popular, if they would post what annoys you about them. anyway- just try to be more of outgoing person. Don't dump your friends- but still communicate and talk with others, start trying to get your friends to go with you to football games/sport events! What i do is Ride my bike all the time saying whats up to everyone i know. i know a lot of people and you know what, because i don't Deny them, they don't deny me just try to be more esay goin
Ditch the losers, get popular.
I actually find you quite pathetic for thinking you're a loser cause other people think you are. If you're happy with yourself then you really can't be a loser, unless you're like a furry or something.
[QUOTE=radioactive;21743010]Don't try to be someone you're not. Stick to being yourself.[/QUOTE] Even if being myself bores me out of my mind? Like I said, I don't want to change my personality or whatever. I just want to change my group of friends, the image that people have of me.
> HAVE A CRISIS IN LIFE. > Make a thread on Facepunch about it to seek help.
Ok, this is the most useful bit of advice my older brother has ever given me: Act like what you want to be, and you'll be it. If you go around acting like the most badass motherfucker, guess what everyone will see you as? a badass motherfucker. Act like you're smart, and people will see you as really fucking smart. The key quality here is being able to act. Also women find it incredibly sexy when you say profound things like "Be the change you want to see in the world". Just steal all your quotes from famous people and claim them as your own, they won't go home and google them, and chances are, they're not going to know them. Also, If you ever need to gift something to a girl, women love hand crafted things.
[QUOTE=chucknorrisme;21743046]Listen- sometimes this stuff may happen. You really should be good with friends, think about it are they gonna stab you in the back like a more popular, if they would post what annoys you about them. anyway- just try to be more of outgoing person. Don't dump your friends- but still communicate and talk with others, start trying to get your friends to go with you to football games/sport events! What i do is Ride my bike all the time saying whats up to everyone i know. i know a lot of people and you know what, because i don't Deny them, they don't deny me just try to be more esay goin[/QUOTE] That's the thing, I'm not happy anymore. Not with them at least.
Don't change yourself for a girl(in the aspect you speak of anyway). She either likes you for who you are or she doesn't like you at all. Be yourself, you've got plenty of time ahead of you for things to change and happen. If she really likes you she'll get over the social stigma and date you.
[QUOTE=SkinkYEA;21743082]> HAVE A CRISIS IN LIFE. > Make a thread on Facepunch about it to seek help.[/QUOTE] like I said, I have nothing to lose
When I read the thread title I thought the "click my ads" spambot was back again.
Dude, its just one girl. They come and go. Don't beat yourself over it.
Try not to give a shit about popularity and social tiers. Up until like last year I was pretty much a recluse, hearing stories about how my friends were all going out to parties and getting drunk. I became very set in my ways, sitting at my PC for days on end. I eventually realised my life was gonna suck if I stayed like this, so I decided to do something about it. I sat down one day and thought, "what interests me?" I remembered that I quite enjoyed astronomy and I had great fun when I used to be a scout. So I joined my local astronomical society and Scouting group. Okay, so step 1 was complete; I had a reason to leave the house. I'd noticed that my small group of friends was part of a larger group, who got together for parties and whatnot more often. When they were planning a party, I kind of nudged in and said "hey, mind if I come along?" With parties and shit like that it's usually the more the merrier, so they said sure. So next time you're in a group of what you class to be the "more popular" folk and they're planning an outing or something, just grit your teeth and sort of invite yourself. Thankfully I was able to pull myself out of the rut I was stuck in and now lead a pretty active social life. I don't think I'm "amazingly popular" or anything, but the older you get the more you begin to realise popularity doesn't really matter as long as you have friends who like you for your personality. As I joined my local astronomical society, a lot of my friends are now upwards of 40 years older than me, and they're not the sort of people who would be deemed "popular" by typical high school/secondar school standards, but they all have a hobby they enjoy and a lot of friends they can share their interests with. tl;dr Don't just sit back and expect to be invited to stuff; popularity doesn't matter if you're with people you like; Hobbies and social clubs are a great way to drag yourself out of a rut.
[QUOTE=UncleJimmema;21743149]Don't change yourself for a girl(in the aspect you speak of anyway). She either likes you for who you are or she doesn't like you at all. Be yourself, you've got plenty of time ahead of you for things to change and happen. If she really likes you she'll get over the social stigma and date you.[/QUOTE] Thanks, but I don't think you understand. This isn't about the girl anymore.She just made me realize how unhappy I am.
Well, if you are in freshman year, well, this is probably good change. If you are in your senior year, why bother, you are going to college soon and can change then. I would say be yourself, but that isn't how high school works, no one is themselves in high school, so if you want to be popular, you are going to have to get a sense of humor, become an asshole, etc...etc... And to all these people saying "you shouldn't care about popularity", bullshit, I've been there, i was incredibly unpopular in freshman and sophomore year and came out of my box junior year, made a HELL of a lot of difference.
[QUOTE=CoolCorky;21743212]Try not to give a shit about popularity and social tiers. Up until like last year I was pretty much a recluse, hearing stories about how my friends were all going out to parties and getting drunk. I became very set in my ways, sitting at my PC for days on end. I eventually realised my life was gonna suck if I stayed like this, so I decided to do something about it. I sat down one day and thought, "what interests me?" I remembered that I quite enjoyed astronomy and I had great fun when I used to be a scout. So I joined my local astronomical society and Scouting group. Okay, so step 1 was complete; I had a reason to leave the house. I'd noticed that my small group of friends was part of a larger group, who got together for parties and whatnot more often. When they were planning a party, I kind of nudged in and said "hey, mind if I come along?" With parties and shit like that it's usually the more the merrier, so they said sure. So next time you're in a group of what you class to be the "more popular" folk and they're planning an outing or something, just grit your teeth and sort of invite yourself. Thankfully I was able to pull myself out of the rut I was stuck in and now lead a pretty active social life. I don't think I'm "amazingly popular" or anything, but the older you get the more you begin to realise popularity doesn't really matter as long as you have friends who like you for your personality. As I joined my local astronomical society, a lot of my friends are now upwards of 40 years older than me, and they're not the sort of people who would be deemed "popular" by typical high school/secondar school standards, but they all have a hobby they enjoy and a lot of friends they can share their interests with. tl;dr Don't just sit back and expect to be invited to stuff; popularity doesn't matter if you're with people you like; Hobbies and social clubs are a great way to drag yourself out of a rut.[/QUOTE] my group of friends don't party
If you try and act cool, all the "cool" kids will just laugh at your for it. Believe me, at the end of high school, NONE of this matters. In fact, everyone who you though was "cool" turn into sluts and musclehead fratboys.
[QUOTE=Akilla;21743265]my group of friends don't party[/QUOTE] Not just parties, any social stuff really. Don't tell me none of your friends even go out for lunch or anything?
[QUOTE=CoolCorky;21743333]Not just parties, any social stuff really. Don't tell me none of your friends even go out for lunch or anything?[/QUOTE] I guess, we hanged out amongst ourselves most of the time, I'm bored and sick of it.
I meant the new people you were [i]wanting[/i] to be friends with. The "popular" folk.
whats wrong with your freinds?
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