The Michigan Thread- All you need to know about Glorious Republic of Michigan
26 replies, posted
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b5/Flag_of_Michigan.svg/1000px-Flag_of_Michigan.svg.png[/t]
[I]Our state flag. Notice the deer and the moose about to kickbox each other. State motto: Tumor.[/I]
What is a Michigan? A Michigan is a mitten-shaped state in the United States. It was formed in whogivesafuck and isn't all that important compared to like, New York, but it one of the most important midwestern states. Yea.
[img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/michigan.png[/img]
[I]An accurate map of Michigan[/I]
Michigan is headed by military president The Honorable and All-Knowing Richard Snyder, who controls all aspects of democracy and economy within the state. Even though our government is located in Lansing, neither Snyder's mansion nor personal retreat are located there.
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/Snyder.png[/t]
[I]His Honor. Savior and All-Knowing.[/I]
We have a strong and healthy police force that does his bidding. One of the primary concerns of all Michiganders is traffic safety, so 90% of law enforcement are traffic cops.
[t]http://www.adamcarolla.com/AHBlog/wp-content/gallery/oth166/05-construction-worker-stop-sign.jpg[/t]
[I]The Michigan Police. They make sure that you don't speed on the roads by making them either undriveable due to disrepair, or impossible to go over 5 MPH[/I]
Our greatest achievement is our industry. Michigan is home to three proud and strong industrial centers. Those are Detroit:
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/detroit.jpg[/t]
Flint:
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/flint.jpg[/t]
and Saginaw:
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/saginaw.png[/t]
[I]I assure you the man and the child are not related to each other.[/I]
Along with these amazing cities are the Paradise of Grand Rapids and the Wealthy State of Ann Arbor. Images of both cities, respectively:
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/grandrapids.jpg[/t][t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/aa2.jpg[/t]
You'll notice that all of these are in the 'Mitten' of Michigan. No one calls it that. It's called the Lower Peninsula. To the north is Superior, a sovereign state that Michiganders just keep because it has some copper and, like, 200 people who are all basically Canadians. Michigan claims this territory as the Upper Peninsula, although they get like no representation and have nothing to speak of to add to Michigan.
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/yoopers.jpg[/t]
[I]Typical Yoopers. Yoopers are residents of the UP.[/I]
To the middle of Michigan is the region known as Mid-Michigan. It's primary feature is the "Tri-Cities": Saginaw, Bay City, and Midland. There's another "Tri-Cities" in Michigan, but no one gives a fuck about them. Outside of the decaying urban centers, this picture sums the area up:
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/midmich.png[/t]
[I]Note the corn field, the hunter, the wilderness, and the deer.[/I]
To the north of the LP is "Northern Michigan". Notice how Northern Michigan is not the UP. Here it's mostly wilderness with sparsely populated towns made entirely of tourist attractions and RV parks for vacationing Michiganders from the south. That's right- our state's tourism is comprised completely of people from our own state. And Canadians who come here for cheaper medication and to secretly slip large amounts of their pennies into our circulating currency to further undermine our economic status.
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/northmich.jpg[/t]
[I]Traverse City is in there somewhere. With cherries.[/I]
Michigan is home to Hockey. Hockey is a sport developed for people who live in cold climates, like Michigan, which has the most random weather ever, because Canada's cold shit comes flying down and passes over our lakes like every day and the type of shit it drops on us depends on whether the Canadians enjoyed their hockey. We have hockey together, the Michiganders and the Canadians.
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/38678023/winter.jpg[/t]
[I]A Michigander playing Hockey in April[/I]
We are also home to the Dogman, automobiles, and poverty:
[t]http://www.weirdmichigan.com/img.dogman2.jpg[/t]
[I]This is a dogman. He ran for mayor of the entire UP in 1982[/I]
[t]http://fancytuning.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/detroit-auto-show-dodge-viper-srt10.jpg[/t]
[I]This is a automobile[/I]
[t]http://graphiceyedea.co.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/mick_mono_sm.jpg[/t]
[I]This is a poverty[/I]
We're also known as the Wolverine State.
[t]http://latimesherocomplex.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/wolverine2.png?w=600&h=446[/t]
Who lead us to victory against Ohio in the Toledo War, where we fought over control of the city of Toledo and only technically lost. So we went and annexed Superior instead. This has lead to a long-standing hatred of Ohio by Michiganders (the politically correct term for a resident of Michigan, coined by Lincoln). This hatred would only be quelled when Wisconsin tried to trick Yoopers into thinking they were Wisconsiners and trying to take our status as the Mitten State. Go fuck yourself Wisconsin, you don't look anything like a Mitten.
Our state crop is the sugarbeet, except in Traverse City, where it is the cherry. We're also proficient at growing corn and potatoes. There's lots of good hunting and fishing. Considering that we're surrounded by five fucking lakes, that's not a surprise. Speaking of lakes, one of which being named after us, they're all ours. Just because we hold one of the largest groupings of fresh water in the world doesn't give anyone else the right to have it. I'm looking at you, American Southwest. Quit trying to steal our water and go suck on a tarantula.
Notable monuments in Michigan:
[t]http://www.mightymac.org/blog090719c.JPG[/t]
[I]This big-ass bridge, the Mackinac Bridge, connects Superior and Michigan. Pronounced Mac-in-aw, as in, "I'm mackin' a bitch right now, come back later." But we don't expect you to know that, you baka gaijins. Only Wisconsin and Illinois understand our plight. [/I]
[t]http://www.winwallpapers.net/w1/2011/01/Ambassador-Bridge.jpg[/t]
[I]The Ambassador Bridge, more commonly known as the Truck Route to Canada is one of two bridges to our great neighbor Canada, and connects Detroit to the paradise of Windsor. There's also a tunnel, which is used by normal people.[/I]
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a8/Soo_Locks_International_Bridge_2010-04_USACE.jpg[/t]
[I]The other bridge to Canada, the Sault Ste. Marie Bridge (btw that's pronounced Soo-Saint-Marie, for you baka gaijans), more commonly known as the Other Truck Route to Canada. [/I]
Notice how they're all bridges? That's because that's all we have. Fucking bridges. Bridges to anywhere but here.
Now that you know about Michigan, we welcome you to my home! Just remember, [url=http://www.theblaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/The-Faces-of-American-Fascism.jpg]S[/url]nyder's watching you!
[img]http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3505/4031501611_9a9b3a006c_z.jpg[/img]
This shall also serve as the hub for discussion about Michigan, between Michiganders, and on topics concerning the City of Toledo as it is Michigan's.
As a fellow Michigander, I can verify that what [Seed Eater] said is true, even if it's presented in a satirical manner.
Besides that, probably one of the few things that's keeping Michigan from going bust is the tourism, where people would go up north to their vacation homes on the lake for the summer. It's one of the only things that are keeping some of the Northern cities (such as Ludington and Manistee) from going bankrupt.
Anyone live around Jackson?
or Traverse City?
I live in the Ypsi/Arbor area. Don't know how that compares to Jackson/Traverse in relation to distance.
I love you dude. This is one of the most informative things I have ever read in my life. You also helped me to understand what a baka gaijin I was.
Western Michigan aka Grand Rapids represent, also fuck Ohio.
For you guys around Kent County, there is a huge hackerspace, [URL="http://thegeekgroup.org/"]The Geek Group[/URL] They do computers, high voltage, physics, video/audio production. Pretty much anything sciencey, they do.
Here are some links
[URL="http://thegeekgroup.org/"]The Geek Group[/URL]
[URL="http://thegeekgroup.org/about-2/"]About[/URL]
[URL="http://thegeekgroup.org/forums/"]Fourms[/URL]
[URL="http://www.youtube.com/thegeekgroup"]Main Youtube channel[/URL]
[URL="http://www.youtube.com/Physicsduck"]Day to day channel[/URL]
Their IRC is on irc.freenode.net #thegeekgroup
[QUOTE=Smas;35975329]I live in the Ypsi/Arbor area. Don't know how that compares to Jackson/Traverse in relation to distance.[/QUOTE]
So do I, I'm in Dexter and go to school in Eastern.
I visited a Cabellas in Michigan once, it had a big statue of Bears fighting. Lovely stuff.
[QUOTE='[Seed Eater];35978079']So do I, I'm in Dexter and go to school in Eastern.[/QUOTE]
Heh, small world. Been going to Eastern for about 2-3 years now, but I'm currently taking a break this semester and going back in the fall.
[QUOTE=Smas;35978846]Heh, small world. Been going to Eastern for about 2-3 years now, but I'm currently taking a break this semester and going back in the fall.[/QUOTE]
This fall will only be my second year. [del]What's your major, if I might ask?[/del]
You Steam profile says that. Interesting interesting.
oakland county reporting in
You forgot the Bluewater bridge connecting Port Huron and Canada.
[editline]16th May 2012[/editline]
Its about time Michigan got its own thread.
Anyone live in Shelby TWP? That one of the palces where all the middle-class white people live around detriot
I raise you a Kentucky.
So, you might ask what is a Kentucky? Well, we are shaped somewhat like a slug.
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e2/Kentucky_in_United_States.svg[/img]
To the North of us is Ohio, with all of it's dirty greed and muggers.
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/02/Cincinnati-skyline-from-kentucky-shore-night.jpg[/img]
There is several bridges that have a sign about 1/4 of the way through that claim that you now tread on Kentucky's land. These signs are also magically enchanted to repel evil from the merciless Ohio.
Everyone here also has a functional or somewhat functional gun. So don't fuck with people around here.
That's all you need to know about the glorious Commonwealth of Kentucky!
I'm from Mid-Michigan. Holla!
Hey Up'ers, Minnesota and Wisconsin has your number...
People's Republic of Ann Arbor = Best Town
[editline]f[/editline]
[url]http://annarbor.com/sports/michigan-to-spend-250-million-to-upgrade-facilities-for-non-revenue-sports/[/url]
Budget issues? What's that? Just raise tuition on college students and don't get around to fixing the Stadium bridge for no apparent reason
The Yoopers have nothing to add? LIES! The UP has many glorious things that the lower could never dream of having in their lives!
Beautiful women!
[img]http://farm1.staticflickr.com/124/362524768_b3faf1bb10_z.jpg?zz=1[/img]
And pasties!
[img]http://www.terrykempfert.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/pasties.jpg[/img]
Also, Googling "pasties" gave me the most hilarious mix of Yooper food and naked women I've seen in a while. And Kentucky is full of hicks and hillbilly rape, get out of the Michigan thread.
My dad grew up in Detroit
Also, the UP provides one of the nation's most valuable national treasures;
[B]Mackinac Island[/B]
[t]http://www.greatlakessailingcompany.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Mackinac-Island.jpg[/t]
A glorious land of fudge, indoctrinated locals, and ye olde Victorian Era buildings/forts, this is probably the only reason why you would dare travel in the land of wilderness and hillbillies who got lost on the way to the corn chucking convention.
[B]Some fudge;[/B]
[img]https://www.kilwins.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/store-full/store_photos/Mackinac%20Island%20Fudge.jpg[/img]
[B]An indoctrinated local;[/B]
[img]http://www.maliasmiles.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Greeting.jpg[/img]
[B]A Ye Olde House-eth;[/B]
[img]http://cbsdetroit.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/house_420x316.jpg[/img]
One of the "appealing" factors to the culture of this island is the lack of automobiles. Need to go somewhere, but don't want to walk?
[B]Take a bike if you are a fit motherfucker;[/B]
[img]http://images.travelpod.com/users/faganroadtrip/2.1275395113.no-cars-just-bikes-on-all-of-mackinac-island.jpg[/img]
[B]or ride a horse and buggy if you are a fat ass.[/B]
[img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EsCu-NAS-Po/TDW73Q4v0LI/AAAAAAAAAGM/kyLFJtKKzrs/s1600/DSC08442.JPG[/img]
Perhaps you wish to waste a couple of vacation days while also going through your life savings? The perfect way to do this is by staying at
[B]THE GRAND HOTEL[/B].
[img]http://pics4.city-data.com/cpicc/cfiles16218.jpg[/img]
Inside, they have [B]an expensive as hell food hall where they serve 5 course dinners and breakfast (which is included into the price of staying);[/B]
[img]http://www.grandhotel.com/images/dining-overview/outdoor-seating.jpg[/img]
[B]385 unique bedrooms (I.E. none of them are the fucking same, you fat nasty trash),[/B]
[img]http://www.grandhotel.com/images/accomodations-guestrooms/guestrooms_1.jpg[/img]
[B]and this suave motherfucker[/B].
[img]http://www.grandhotel.com/images/about/dancing-in-the-lobby.jpg[/img]
All together, this island is a pretty cool place, if you like regressing back to the 1800s or shoving your head up your ass.
[B]Sources: Personal Experience and the Internet[/B]
Grand rapids reporting in, the best part of the state. At least better than Detroit.
Also, I love asking out of state and country people to pronounce "Mackinac" and "Ste. Saint Marie".
And Fun Fact, Michigan is the only state where the population went DOWN from 2000-2010.
Here's some fun videos parodying "Pure Michigan" advertisements.
[video=youtube;01Kz6Rw99Kk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01Kz6Rw99Kk&feature=plcp[/video]
This one is 100% true.
[video=youtube;9FJoRxT6B5g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FJoRxT6B5g&feature=plcp[/video]
My opinion on "Pure Michigan" is that you can also have "Pure Shit" and that doesn't make it good.
Born and raised in Holland, but living in E. Lansing most of the time now. I oddly enough know nothing about Michigan outside West Michigan and the shit we learned in Michigan history in elementary school.
[QUOTE=Smas;35975225]Besides that, probably one of the few things that's keeping Michigan from going bust is the tourism, where people would go up north to their vacation homes on the lake for the summer. It's one of the only things that are keeping some of the Northern cities (such as Ludington and Manistee) from going bankrupt.[/QUOTE]
Seriously, I remember hanging out in St. Joseph one day in the summer and I could look at 99% percent of the parked cars in the downtown area and see Illinois license plates.
[QUOTE=XxPsychoxX;35987694]
And pasties!
[img]http://www.terrykempfert.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/pasties.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
My grandmother makes the best damn pasties you will ever eat.
I love Grand Rapids.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPjjZCO67WI&list=FLXEOUI3jSyPunFxugzs45JA&index=64&feature=plpp_video[/media]
Most of my family lives FAR up in the UP. On the tiny little peninsula. Barely on the map.
Needless to say, my dad joined the military and instantly became 100% more successful than they did. Working in paper mills or on farms... kinda depressing.
Thank God I wasn't raised in Michigan.
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