• Valve CEO Gabe Newell found dead raped and eaten by a pear of headphones
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[url]http://articles.cnn.com/2012-06-20/g..._impale_attack[/url] Valve founder gabe newton has been found dead at his office after 3 badgers were found eating the bare flesh off his body. The CIA was able to recover his dead body and kill the badgers, investigation shows he was not murdered or killed of a drug overdose, but of the pet badgers he was bringing home. Valve CEO Gabe Newell was found dead after eating 2 bacon burgers and 3 bags of peanuts, investigators say he had a heart attack and the oil of grease made badgers come to eat his flesh off. Recovery is doubtful, and investigation by the Seattle Police has been conducted Gabe Newton will be missed.
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