Okay so I wrote this story thing as an application for a writing position on some magazine. I was (originally) under a deadline and was limited to around 3,000 words so forgive me if any part of it seems rushed or shitty.
Here is the story: [URL]http://milkybloodzine.tumblr.com/the-brothel[/URL]
As a warning, it has some mild gore.
Any feedback possible would be cool.
Holy shit.
That was quite the read. Well chosen words... flows together and feels/sounds rather like something to come from the era that you based the story to take place in.
The only criticism I'd give is when the guy, at the end, says "Y-yeah, I get it doc, etc".. I dunno if he'd be in the state of mind to come up with any sort of sentence structure like that. Granted, what happened to him has never happened to me, so I don't know, but it's just speculation.
Other than that the whole thing was excellent. The parts that were supposed to make me squirm did so marvelously. It was an interesting point/ moral (if you will?), too... contrasting the two characters leaving the reader wondering.. just who WAS the villain in the story?
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