I am writing a series of Chapters (And due to positive feedback from my friends, might be published as a book someday!) under a story called "Nathan".
[quote]Nathan - The cutest, most adorable little Psychopath you will ever meet! He loves flowers, cookies, sunshine and happiness. However, he also has a small, unusual problem that involves killing people...[/quote]
Here is a list of parts I have finished so far. Send feedback to either [email]phobos129@gmail.com[/email] , [url]http://www.youtube.com/phobos001[/url] , or my blog at [url]http://phobos001.blogspot.com[/url]
[i]EDIT: Some quick notes: This is supposed to be a funny kind of story, because I don't like making anything that is Super Serious. I know that doesn't excuse my errors in the writing, but these are rough drafts of chapters, which I somehow forgot to mention. I know, I know, the first part isn't that funny. Well future parts are richer in the comedic factor, so go read those if you want a chuckle or two...Or maybe you didn't find it funny at all, and had nightmares. That might not be funny to you, but it is to me. *Evil Laughter*
Oh, and Constructive-Criticism please. It makes me happy, and less homicidal. :)[/i]
[b]Can a Mod please lock this thread? I will re-post this in the correct sub-forum.[/b]
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Finished Chapters
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(Part 1) Hide and Seek:
[url]http://sharetext.org/E9GX[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2ybub9[/url]
Illustration: [url]http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/2...2yhoc9.png[/url]
(Part 2) Movie Night:
[url]http://sharetext.org/CQU5[/url]
[url]http://justpaste.it/4q5[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2yj707[/url]
(Part 3) New Friend:
[url]http://justpaste.it/nathan_newfriend[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2yml9c[/url]
(Part 4) An Apology...:
[url]http://justpaste.it/nathan_apology[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2yr5jr[/url]
(Part 5) Back to School!:
[url]http://justpaste.it/nathan_backtoschool[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2z644j[/url]
Halloween Illustration: [url]http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/252/e/5/nathan__s_halloween_by_phobos001-d2yegvw.png[/url]
[b] To the Moderators, If I did something wrong in my post, notify me and I will edit it. [/b]
[url=http://www.facepunch.com/forumdisplay.php?f=75]Art Section is this-a-way[/url]
Did you get an account just to post this?
Wow oh shut, bad reading. Pile on the boxes.
Beginnings make the story. Yours starts out awkwardly and uses the word "nice" twice in the same sentence. I don't think I'll read it unless everyone here loves it.
Also, Creationism Corner is where you put art.
[QUOTE=EpicMan!;25120808]Did you get an account just to post this?[/QUOTE]
November 2009
Um
[QUOTE=EpicMan!;25120808]Did you get an account just to post this?[/QUOTE]
That's one of the dumbest elitism posts I've seen in a while. Clearly he's been here since November. Hell, he's been here almost a year longer then you.
Besides '05 is where it's at.
Anyways, I'll read these OP. No guarentee I'll be able to reply but that's ok. I'll read still.
I read like first couple of sentences (well like 7-8) and noticed a lot of little errors. Should probably revise it before posting, because that's all the feedback you'll be getting from here.
This is terrible, i've seen better writing in a twilight book.
Yes, there's lots of errors, not huge ones though. Anyways, reading the first few parts, is Nathan supposed to be gay?
Nathan sure loves those flowers.
[b] I have never seen such fast replies to threads in my entire life. I must post here more often. Lol. [/b]
[QUOTE=Rubs10;25120764][url=http://www.facepunch.com/forumdisplay.php?f=75]Art Section is this-a-way[/url][/QUOTE]
Oh, thanks. How do I move this to there? Do I have to delete this thread and re-post, or can I just click a super-awesome button that does that automatically?
[quote]I read like first couple of sentences (well like 7-8) and noticed a lot of little errors. Should probably revise it before posting, because that's all the feedback you'll be getting from here. [/quote]
Eh, good point. But this isn't really a polished thing. I actually planned to finish the series, then fix it up, then publish it somewhere. So it's kind of a rough draft, which I should add in my first post so then people don't go "This is gay" and then try to kill me in my sleep.
[quote] This is terrible, I've seen better writing in a twilight book. [/quote]
Okay, I am now tempted to edit my first post and put, in big, bold, shiny, glowing, super sized, neon lights with girls dancing around it sign that says "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM PLEASE."
[quote] Yes, there's lots of errors, not huge ones though. Anyways, reading the first few parts, is Nathan supposed to be gay? [/quote]
No. He isn't gay, but just a really light hearted kind of person. Also, read second post response about errors.
[editline]03:36AM[/editline]
Can I please have a Moderator lock this thread? I re-posted this correctly in the Art sub forum.
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