So, I have a major discussion right now concerning behavior in a night club.
The argument is the following: Is having guys come over to your table at a night club and letting them buy your drinks considered as flirting in some way?
I'll add a poll to keep track of the score.
Somebody's having an argument with the misses.
[QUOTE=CoilingTesla;47542428]Somebody's having an argument with the misses.[/QUOTE]
Yeap, basic relationship problems.
My view on it is that it's cheating in some form because you have to flirt to get them to buy you a drink.
If they don't like you they wont.
It certainly is. It isn't as simple as "just a drink" or "just a talk". Even worse if its a bunch of strangers.
[editline]17th April 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=Steffmeister;47542445]Yeap, basic relationship problems.
My view on it is that it's cheating in some form because you have to flirt to get them to buy you a drink.
If they don't like you they wont.[/QUOTE]
Exactly.
Nobody buys you a drink for no reason at all.
Funnily enough, these 3 chicks who are acquaintances of me and my buddies are constantly at bars mooching guys for drinks, and they JUST want the drinks :v:
The thing is my girlfriend is an outgoing type but her and alcohol doesn't really mix because there are always things that she will fuck up due to her stupid behavior.
I kind of see it like cheating in an indirect way. But I guess opinions are devided on that matter.
[QUOTE=Steffmeister;47542445]Yeap, basic relationship problems.
My view on it is that it's cheating in some form because you have to flirt to get them to buy you a drink.
If they don't like you they wont.[/QUOTE]
I'm not a "club" person, but I do know that there are guys out there who will buy a girl a drink just for the 0.000000001% chance they might get it in. It doesn't always mean that they were flirting.
flirting =/= cheating in my opinion, but this is your relationship, so that's for you two to decide.
[QUOTE=Steffmeister;47542585]The thing is my girlfriend is an outgoing type but her and alcohol doesn't really mix because there are always things that she will fuck up due to her stupid behavior.
I kind of see it like cheating in an indirect way. But I guess opinions are devided on that matter.[/QUOTE]
It's not though. And don't expect your relationship to last if you're that controlling on her.
It is kinda rude for her to let guys buy her drinks if she's already taken, but it's not really emotionally cheating unless she is showing she is open. Sounds to me like she is just a social butterfly who gets drinks easily. Chill out.
[QUOTE=Steffmeister;47542585]The thing is my girlfriend is an outgoing type but her and alcohol doesn't really mix because there are always things that she will fuck up due to her stupid behavior.
I kind of see it like cheating in an indirect way. But I guess opinions are devided on that matter.[/QUOTE]
Oh, yeah, she probably just decided "Well one more free drink couldn't hurt."
That's not something I understand, but I have friends that are the type.
I don't consider any of that cheating, though. She could have done actual [i]sexual[/i] things to this man, but it doesn't sound like she did.
[QUOTE=CoilingTesla;47542604]I'm not a "club" person, but I do know that there are guys out there who will buy a girl a drink just for the 0.000000001% chance they might get it in. It doesn't always mean that they were flirting.
flirting =/= cheating in my opinion, but this is your relationship, so that's for you two to decide.[/QUOTE]
She literally told me the following: "My friends used me as bait, I lured in guys from the bar and around us so they would buy us drinks."
This was a planned out thing which she agreed to.
No one will ever buy some chick in a bar a drink purely out of generosity.
It's never "just a drink"
[QUOTE=Steffmeister;47542624]She literally told me the following: "My friends used me as bait, I lured in guys from the bar and around us so they would buy us drinks."
This was a planned out thing which she agreed to.[/QUOTE]
That's not flirting, that's called fooling people into buying you alcohol. Completely different.
[QUOTE=Skyward;47542627]No one will ever buy some chick in a bar a drink purely out of generosity.
It's never "just a drink"[/QUOTE]
Of course almost all guys do it hoping to get in their pants, but it's stupid to call it cheating if she doesn't actually cheat or engage further than taking a few free drinks...
[QUOTE=portal7;47542648]Of course almost all guys do it hoping to get in their pants, but it's stupid to call it cheating if she doesn't actually cheat or engage further than taking a few free drinks...[/QUOTE]
Oh no I agree with that point I'm just saying.
You're right though, having someone flirt with you doesn't mean you're flirting back.
[QUOTE=portal7;47542610]It's not though. And don't expect your relationship to last if you're that controlling on her[/QUOTE]
I'm not being controlling. At the end of the day I still let her do whatever she wants to do. She is entirely free to go and stand where she wants to. But if she is doing something that isn't really morally right in my opinion I say something about it.
And okay, I really shouldn't see it as cheating, but still you should think better than doing stuff like that. Pre-planned or not it still has the same ending result.
[QUOTE=Steffmeister;47542692]I'm not being controlling. At the end of the day I still let her do whatever she wants to do. She is entirely free to go and stand where she wants to. But if she is doing something that isn't really morally right in my opinion I say something about it.
And okay, I really shouldn't see it as cheating, but still you should think better than doing stuff like that. Pre-planned or not it still has the same ending result.[/QUOTE]
Free drinks is free drinks. If guys want to gamble their money and see if she cheats, isn't really anything wrong with it. If they don't know she is already taken it's a bit more shitty but still fair game tbh.
I think "cheating" is way too strong of a word for it.
But I think there is a connotation to it, and letting guys buy drinks for her personally, especially encouraging them to do it, is making them think they have a chance where they shouldn't. So that kind of thing is shitty both to you and the single guys looking for single girls.
If it's just random or after some small talk, it probably is. You also have to take body language into account.
I consider it flirting and dangerous behavior, especially because alcohol is involved. I'm somebody who can be on all sorts of stuff and literally have a hot woman get on my lap (this literally happened) and still tell her no. However, not everyone is like that. A lot of people I know are not like that. I would just tell her she's doing something dangerous and you don't want her to.
[editline]17th April 2015[/editline]
However, I have flirted for ulterior motives outside of sex. My wife is aware that I do this and is comfortable with it because she knows that I'm pretty good at standing next to fire without getting burnt. Although I generally don't flirt directly (if it at all), I'm just very talented at making myself attractive to people and I believe that seduction is an art that can be good for your mind and body (if controlled well). But I know myself, and my wife knows me as well. However, I don't encourage very obvious flirtatious behaviors and when women have gotten to that point, I've done things like coming up with excuses, such as "Stop putting your leg on my knee, I have a bruise there."
[QUOTE=Lord_Ragnarok;47543153]I consider it flirting and dangerous behavior, especially because alcohol is involved. I'm somebody who can be on all sorts of stuff and literally have a hot woman get on my lap (this literally happened) and still tell her no. However, not everyone is like that. A lot of people I know are not like that. I would just tell her she's doing something dangerous and you don't want her to.
[editline]17th April 2015[/editline]
However, I have flirted for ulterior motives outside of sex. My wife is aware that I do this and is comfortable with it because she knows that I'm pretty good at standing next to fire without getting burnt. Although I generally don't flirt directly (if it at all), I'm just very talented at making myself attractive to people and I believe that seduction is an art that can be good for your mind and body (if controlled well). But I know myself, and my wife knows me as well. However, I don't encourage very obvious flirtatious behaviors and when women have gotten to that point, I've done things like coming up with excuses, such as "Stop putting your leg on my knee, I have a bruise there."[/QUOTE]
Just because you flirt because you're such a cool ~~womanizer~~ doesn't mean that everyone who flirts has such thoughts in their minds as you do. Free drinks are fun and it's not cheating if you don't actually cheat or lead someone into thinking you want to fuck.
[QUOTE=Lord_Ragnarok;47543153]I've done things like coming up with excuses, such as "Stop putting your leg on my knee, I have a bruise there."[/QUOTE]
Tell me about it dude, I tell them about my FP membership and they're like magnetised to me or something B-)
I used to let my Ex Mrs get drinks off lads all the time, it's free drinks and there's nothing wrong with a harmless flirt here and there, really isn't.
Reminds me of the time I got talking to a couple of lassies and they asked if I wanted a drink, after offering to buy all 3 of us a drink they declined and said they'd buy mine for me. After getting the drinks they then asked if I wanted to come dance with them, my response?
"Nah I've got a Mrs over there"
Ex then waved at them and smiled.
I go out with my friend and his gf sometimes, sometimes guys buy her drinks she just shares them with my mate.
[QUOTE=Steffmeister;47542445]Yeap, basic relationship problems.
My view on it is that it's cheating in some form because you have to flirt to get them to buy you a drink.
If they don't like you they wont.[/QUOTE]
The majority of the times they will come over and give you a drink without you doing a thing to instigate it, and trying to get them to go away safely can be problematic.
Honestly though I think your a bit insecure in your relationship if you have a problem with such a simple interaction which at the end if the day doesnt mean anything.
if your girl likes you she won't go fucking around, sounds like you don't trust her
If your significant other is declining the offer then you have nothing to worry about.
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