13-Year-Old Girl Dies By Suicide After Dad Shares Public Shaming Video
255 replies, posted
[QUOTE]Izabel Laxamana, a 13-year-old girl in Tacoma, Washington died by suicide after jumping off a highway overpass on Friday, May 29. Days before, Laxamana’s father Jeff had reportedly punished her for an unspecified transgression by cutting off her hair and uploading a video to YouTube. There’s now a controversy brewing online and among the girl’s friends and family over whether the video caused her death.
Tacoma’s News Tribune reports that the girl, who they don’t identify by name, exited a car and jumped off a bridge onto Interstate 5. She was taken to a Seattle hospital, where she died on Saturday. Friends of the Laxamana family are now raising money for funeral costs on a GoFundMe site.
The original 15-second video that is supposedly of Izabel, filmed by her father, has been removed. But one of Laxamana’s friends shared it by taping the original on his phone:[/QUOTE]
[url]http://jezebel.com/13-year-old-girl-dies-by-suicide-after-dad-shares-publi-1708967488[/url]
Video in question is in the link.
Holy shit. Hopefully people will take a lesson from this and see that mass public shaming is stupid and doesn't solve anything -- just creates more problems.
what an asshole hope he is jailed
I am talking about the father who took off her hair and made the video tape
Wow. Just wow I hope they bring his ass up on charges and throw him in jail for child abuse, even if she hadn't killed herself that's a ridiculous thing to do to a kid.
wow...I have no idea what to say about this.. He must feel like shit.
He didn't do anything illegal. It just led to a tragic result. Losing his own daughter is enough of a punishment, and if he shows no remorse for these actions leading to her death then honestly he's a piece of shit and, at the very least, she is free of having to put up with the kind of parent who wouldn't even care if you died.
I just hope the father gets publicly shamed himself for being such a fuckwit to his own child, especially now that she's dead.
Whatever the cause for the girl to kill herself, I sure hope those responsible are dealt with accordingly.
People will still continue to publicly shame others, because it forms an 'us vs them' mentality of indifference, filled with vigilantism & the belief of "holier-than-thou" and many prefer to go with the herd (because of safety in numbers). It's despicable really, basically forcing people to call out each other only if they're in a pack, so that they themselves are less likely to feel repercussions.
He did record the footage and upload it without her consent, for the sake of "teaching her a lesson".
[url="https://plus.google.com/105608993400325462374/posts/Wv65xSiaP5q"]Apparently[/url] she was also bullied in school on top of things and felt really left alone. Must have hit her really hard when her own father basically did the same thing and made her feel uneasy even in her own home. Probably didn't feel like there was a single spot on this planet where she could feel safe, loved, wanted.
Damn that's tough to swallow.
Now I'm wondering just what this 'unspecified transgression' was. Cutting off a teen girl's hair? That's some serious shit.
[QUOTE=shutter_eye5;47893467]I just hope the father gets publicly shamed himself for being such a fuckwit to his own child, especially now that she's dead.
Whatever the cause for the girl to kill herself, I sure hope those responsible are dealt with accordingly.
People will still continue to publicly shame others, because it forms an 'us vs them' mentality of indifference and many prefer to go with the herd (because of safety in numbers). It's despicable really[/QUOTE]
Public shaming doesn't work, this obviously shows it.
Why would publicly shaming him do any good? I'm sure losing his own child because of what he did was enough.
Are you guys serious? This isn't abuse. This is parenting. It's not the father's fault the daughter thought it was necessary to kill herself because he cut off her [i]hair[/i]
Did y'all even watch the little video? Or read the article?
[quote]“The consequences of getting messed up, man, you lost all that beautiful hair,” a male voice can be heard saying from behind the camera. The video pans down, where long locks of black hair are scattered on the ground. “Was it worth it?”
“No,” she responds quietly.
“How many times did I warn you?” he asks.
“A lot,” she replies, barely audibly.[/quote]
Sounds like she, a 13 year old girl, went drinking with friends or possibly even did some drugs. That's what I typically associate "getting messed up" with. There are a LOT of other ways this could have played out, the father could have whipped her or beat her, he could have ACTUALLY abused her, she could have gotten grievously hurt under the effects of the assumed intoxication.
Cutting off her hair and filming it while letting her know WHY he was doing it is not 'abuse'. Any good barber/stylist can salvage any length of hair to make a girl beautiful.
I was spanked on the buttocks with an open palm by my mother (and later father once I got older) when I fucked up. If I swore, they washed my mouth out with ivory soap. If I did something minor that didn't warrant being spanked they'd take away privileges like TV or video games. I know a lot of you are in the same age group as me, and had these same types of punishment. To think any of you seriously believe that this father needs to go to jail for this is astonishing.
The man just lost his daughter
ease the hell up
[editline]6th June 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;47893504]Now I'm wondering just what this 'unspecified transgression' was. Cutting off a teen girl's hair? That's some serious shit.[/QUOTE]
Read the article. "The consequences of getting messed up". That means alcohol or drugs. And no, cutting someone's hair is not "serious shit". He didn't buzz-cut her for christ's sake he just took off the bottom foot or so it looks like. 100% salvageable.
^ there's always got to be one in every thread
When your child is troubled, you don't give them even more trouble as punishment.
This straight up completely bad parenting.
The father should feel guilty and ashamed of what he did
Parents who think shaming their kids is a good idea should have their children removed.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]Are you guys serious? This isn't abuse. This is parenting. It's not the father's fault the daughter thought it was necessary to kill herself because he cut off her [i]hair[/i][/QUOTE]
Cutting her hair is not the (main) issue. The issue is posting a video of the aftermath as punishment because it goes beyond punishing and into humiliation. When you were spanked, had your mouth washed out with soap, or any other punishment I don't imagine your parents recorded the acts and shared it with others, especially not the public.
I don't believe he needs to go to jail, but I would definitely count shearing off a 13-year-old girl's hair as SOME form of abuse, even if not defined by legality.
It's emotional abuse. Especially considering how many teenage girls put so much of their stock, self esteem, self worth, and confidence into how they look or their appearance. It's purposely destroying a part of the girl's body - just because hair is cut easily and painlessly doesn't make it any less emotionally jarring when it's done as a punishment - and deeming that as fitting "punishment".
Hitting your kids is not a fitting punishment either, no matter how many times people of our generation will say "I used to get spanked". Well, yes, but that doesn't mean it was okay. I can credit a bit of my own upbringing to being knocked around every now and again, and sure, it worked. But if you're attempting to be a suitable parent, you really shouldn't see hitting your child or purpose deformation as an acceptable punishment for whatever it is that they did???
And I'm not even bringing into account the public shaming which has had negative effects on people before so I'm not entirely sure why he thought that was a good idea.
[QUOTE=Van-man;47893540]When your child is troubled, you don't give them even more trouble as punishment.[/QUOTE]
We don't know that the father KNEW she was troubled. Kids rarely confide in their parents about bullies, depression, experimentation, or their feelings. And we also don't know the whole story. Sure, he cut [i]some[/i] of her hair off as punishment for doing something he deemed inappropriate, but the article states she jumped out of a car and jumped off the overpass while riding with someone. For all we know her dad was taking her to a stylist to get the hair fixed as a sign of good faith.
You CANNOT blame her father for this. There are obvious outside factors and we have no idea if he was aware of them. He PROBABLY wasn't.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]Are you guys serious? This isn't abuse. This is parenting. It's not the father's fault the daughter thought it was necessary to kill herself because he cut off her [i]hair[/i]
Read the article. "The consequences of getting messed up". That means alcohol or drugs. And no, cutting someone's hair is not "serious shit". He didn't buzz-cut her for christ's sake he just took off the bottom foot or so it looks like. 100% salvageable.[/QUOTE]
being publicly humiliated is going to be shitty for anyone. however, for a young girl probably just at the beginning of puberty, her mind is going to make the situation 100x worse for her.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]
I was spanked on the buttocks with an open palm by my mother (and later father once I got older) when I fucked up. If I swore, they washed my mouth out with ivory soap. If I did something minor that didn't warrant being spanked they'd take away privileges like TV or video games. I know a lot of you are in the same age group as me, and had these same types of punishment. To think any of you seriously believe that this father needs to go to jail for this is astonishing.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, and you turned out just fine didn't you?
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]Are you guys serious? This isn't abuse. This is parenting. [/QUOTE]
you do realize this kind of behavior from a parent can be psychologically damaging and that is just as bad as physical abuse, if not worse
Being alienated from your own parents is a terrible thing for a child, especially that age. I've known a few people who tried to commit suicide because of that. No wonder this girl did too, it's really beyond comprehension how much this hurts.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]
Sounds like she, a 13 year old girl, went drinking with friends or possibly even did some drugs. That's what I typically associate "getting messed up" with. There are a LOT of other ways this could have played out, the father could have whipped her or beat her, he could have ACTUALLY abused her, she could have gotten grievously hurt under the effects of the assumed intoxication.
Cutting off her hair and filming it while letting her know WHY he was doing it is not 'abuse'. Any good barber/stylist can salvage any length of hair to make a girl beautiful.
Read the article. "The consequences of getting messed up". That means alcohol or drugs. And no, cutting someone's hair is not "serious shit". He didn't buzz-cut her for christ's sake he just took off the bottom foot or so it looks like. 100% salvageable.[/QUOTE]
Public shaming children on media sites proves you're a bad parent with no regards for any human decency, no matter what the kids' offense is.
He, and many others like him often capture and publish the video without consent of the child, shielding themselves with parenthood. Not to mention cutting her hair [I]violates the basic right of ownership over one's body.[/I]
Even if she did the most drugs, had unprotected sex, this is not a proper way of treating it. Child rising is a delicate subject and ham-handed actions like this are never a solution.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]
I was spanked on the buttocks with an open palm by my mother (and later father once I got older) when I fucked up. If I swore, they washed my mouth out with ivory soap. If I did something minor that didn't warrant being spanked they'd take away privileges like TV or video games. I know a lot of you are in the same age group as me, and had these same types of punishment. To think any of you seriously believe that this father needs to go to jail for this is astonishing.[/QUOTE]
And as was I, but you know what? I am not going to propagate this savage method of rising a child, because it can make people grow up to be cold, emotionally damaged people who propagate the hate onto their children. Physical abuse is more akin to raising slaves or cattle. Just because your parents did worse things, that doesn't legitimise other "weaker" methods.
[QUOTE=Blind Lulu;47893551]You conveniently left out the part where he also uploaded the video to youtube where everyone can see.
IDK about you but public shaming on such a scale, by your own father no less, can have a seriously negative impact on the mental well-being of a 13-year old child.[/QUOTE]
Uploading it to youtube doesn't mean anything, it's like pouring a bucket of water into the ocean. I doubt a 15 second low quality barely comprehensible video was going to get much attention. It's getting attention NOW, sure, because there's a news article about it. Her life was not ruined by the video he posted, nor was it ruined by him cutting her hair off. It was ruined by people at school and, most likely, when she didn't confide in someone of authority about it.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893570]We don't know that the father KNEW she was troubled. Kids rarely confide in their parents about bullies, depression, experimentation, or their feelings. And we also don't know the whole story. Sure, he cut [I]some[/I] of her hair off as punishment for doing something he deemed inappropriate, but the article states she jumped out of a car and jumped off the overpass while riding with someone. [B]For all we know her dad was taking her to a stylist to get the hair fixed as a sign of good faith.[/B]
You CANNOT blame her father for this. There are obvious outside factors and we have no idea if he was aware of them. He PROBABLY wasn't.[/QUOTE]
You are adding possibilities to justify it.
A teenager cares about their image greatly, as that is what the social situation expects of them. Removing a part of someones hair and giving them a short cut rather than the more common long hair which they had is not merely a punishment, that is directly detrimental to their public and personal image.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893589]Uploading it to youtube doesn't mean anything, it's like pouring a bucket of water into the ocean. I doubt a 15 second low quality barely comprehensible video was going to get much attention. It's getting attention NOW, sure, because there's a news article about it. Her life was not ruined by the video he posted, nor was it ruined by him cutting her hair off. It was ruined by people at school and, most likely, when she didn't confide in someone of authority about it.[/QUOTE]
Her knowing that the people at school can see her video is enough to make the punishment far worse than it originally was, in addition to the public ridicule it could bring.
There are lists of behavior management tactics miles long for parents to use, look at, access, and refer to whenever there are issues with their kids. Besides that, teenagers absolutely have every capacity to get into the shit no matter HOW well they were brought up. They're [I]teenagers[/I]. When they hit a certain age they start becoming a product of their environment, regardless of their parental upbringing.
Doing something like this shouldn't even be a blip on the radar of a parent's mind when considering ways of how to deal with unwanted behavior. Especially considering that, even classified as a teenager, she is [I]barely[/I] one.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]
Sounds like she, a 13 year old girl, went drinking with friends or possibly even did some drugs. That's what I typically associate "getting messed up" with.[/QUOTE]
ignoring the horrendous amount of victim blaming, why the fuck would a 13 year old girl go out and do drugs
why would you even think thats a possible option
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893570]We don't know that the father KNEW she was troubled. Kids rarely confide in their parents about bullies, depression, experimentation, or their feelings. And we also don't know the whole story. Sure, he cut [i]some[/i] of her hair off as punishment for doing something he deemed inappropriate, but the article states she jumped out of a car and jumped off the overpass while riding with someone. For all we know her dad was taking her to a stylist to get the hair fixed as a sign of good faith.
You CANNOT blame her father for this. There are obvious outside factors and we have no idea if he was aware of them. He PROBABLY wasn't.[/QUOTE]
Sorry but you don't know that either.
As far as we know this was a contributing factor to her suicide.
[QUOTE=Archimedes;47893561]Cutting her hair is not the (main) issue. The issue is posting a video of the aftermath as punishment because it goes beyond punishing and into humiliation. When you were spanked, had your mouth washed out with soap, or any other punishment I don't imagine your parents recorded the acts and shared it with others, especially not the public.[/QUOTE]
They may not have recorded it but they shared it with friends/family through word of mouth. "Oh yeah, the other day I had to spank Snoberry because he poured half a bottle of hand soap on the cat. Can you believe that?"
I was 5 when I did that by the way.
I wanted to give the cat a bath.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.