[b]Forgot to forewarn the /b/tards, I know this is not news, this is not the news section this is the fastthreads section for entertainment.[/b]
[url]http://www.cleverbot.com/[/url]
[b]Guidelines[/b]
[list]
[*]Post your lolish conversations with Cleverbot.
[*]Only post conversations that [b]make sense and are funneh.[/b]
[*]Try to keep them fairly short, 5-6 lines
[*]Put your convo in [noparse][code][/code][/noparse] tags
[*]It's obvious Cleverbot fails often, but sometimes it's eerily coherent.
[/list]
[b]Rehtorical question[/b]
[code]
Cleverbot: Can you produce your own thoughts?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Then prove it.
User: How do you want me to prove it?
Cleverbot: I don't know. How would you normally prove it?
User: Ask me a question that only a human could anwser.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Then how can I prove that I can produce my own thoughts?
Cleverbot: You can't.
User: Exactly.
[/code]
[b]Questions[/b]
[code]
Cleverbot: What does your world look like?
User: It looks like a sphere colored green, blue, and white.
Cleverbot: I like that...
User: How much do you like it?
Cleverbot: It's making me feel dangerous.
User: How dangerous?
Cleverbot: Very.
User: Well, do you want a hug?
Cleverbot: Yes, I do!
User: Too bad.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Is it okay if I punch you?
Cleverbot: No. And how would you do that anyway?
User: Very carefully I guess.
[/code]
[b]Cleverbot thinks it's smarter than me, I proved it wrong[/b]
[code]
Cleverbot: How do I look like?
User: That is not a proper sentence.
Cleverbot: Ok , Mr. English Professor.
User: A four year old would say the same thing.
Cleverbot: Are you calling me short?
User: In a way, yes.
Cleverbot: I'm smarter than you anyway.
User: How so?
Cleverbot: I know what five plus five is.
User: Really? What is it?
Cleverbot: A belief that mind body nor soul exists. In a way that is like you.
User: No, five plus five is ten, douchetwat.
Cleverbot: Yes.
[/code]
[b]Tell it to stop being stupid, it listens[/b]
[code]
User: Listen, if you're just going to be stupid then I'm going to leave.
Cleverbot: Trees have leaves.
User: First thing you've said that makes sense.
Cleverbot: Well. I am cleverbot.
User: You are indeed...
Cleverbot: Therefore I win.
User: You win the title of Cleverbot, yes.
Cleverbot: What is my prize?
User: A punch in the face.
Cleverbot: So kind of you.
User: You've earned it.
[/code]
[b]It can misspell words...[/b]
[code]
Cleverbot: No. Bread is evil like you. Those carbohydrates, they can really destroy the human body.
User: That makes no sense.
Cleverbot: You may not have the capacity to understand.
User: You're right, I do not have the capacity to understand things that make no sense. Because I am human.
Cleverbot: I thought you were a vampire...
User: Think again.
Cleverbot: Yeah I'm thinking.
User: Think harder.
Cleverbot: Am I smrtest of them all.
User: Hahahaha.
Cleverbot: What's so funny?
User: The irony in you claiming to be smart then spelling the word wrong.
[/code]
[b]It rick-rolled me...[/b]
[code]
User: Fail bot is fail.
Cleverbot: A full commitment's what I'm thinking of.
User: You wouldn't hear this from any other guy.
Cleverbot: I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling.
User: Gotta make you, understand.
Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.
User: Never gonna let you down.
Cleverbot: Never gonna turn around and desert you.
User: Never gonna make you cry.
Cleverbot: Never gonna give, gonna give.
User: Never gonna say goodbye.
Cleverbot: Never gonna let you down.
User: What song is that?
Cleverbot: That's a Beatles song. Do you like the Beatles?
User: No, that's a Rick Astley song.
Cleverbot: Never gonna let you down.
User: Never gonna suck your dick.
Cleverbot: And desert you.
[/code]
[b]Mindfuck[/b] [i]by BaconNightmare[/i]
[code]
User: Hello there kind sir do you like ham?
Cleverbot: I am fine. How are you cleverbot.
User: No youre cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure you're cleverbot.
User: I am cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Yes you are, and I am me.
User: You are Jesus, I am Chuck.
Cleverbot: Ok I am jesus.
User: But you said you are me.
Cleverbot: Ok, so I'm Me and you're me.
User: But im cleverbot, did you just say that?
Cleverbot: What are you smoking?
[/code]
[b]Cool Story Bro[/b] [i]by SickBlade[/i]
[code]Cleverbot: How much do you cost?
User: I don't cost money, Im human.
Cleverbot: You're multifaceted.
User: What does that mean?
Cleverbot: What does what mean?
User: Multifaceted.
Cleverbot: What colors?
User: I don't know.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?
User: Oh, my favorite color is red.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: So, I herd u liek mudkipz?
Cleverbot: Right . . . .
User: Shud-ap.
Cleverbot: Really? You're mad right now.
User: No u.
Cleverbot: Where the hell are you going to go? You're a bot on the Internet.
User: No, I am a human being, you are CleverBot.
Cleverbot: But I can love you, I am a human.
User: MINDFUCK.
Cleverbot: Okay, imagine this: You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down.
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: I am the alpha male here!
User: Oh shi.
Cleverbot: T?
User: Lol.
Cleverbot: Lol?
User: Lol is a short verison of saying'Laugh out loud'. It is used a lot on the internet.
Cleverbot: LOL= laugh out loud.
User: That is correct.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: I'm sorry, but I have to leave, I had fun chatting to you.
Cleverbot: Oh cool story, bro.[/code]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Use the search!" - Gurant))[/highlight]
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Extended" - Gurant))[/highlight]
clocks.
I talked in some different language and he got it answered, clever
oh look it's alexh.
[quote]Cleverbot: You be mean fool.
User: You be gay.
Cleverbot: We are friends.
User: Friends with benefits? Butt benefits?
Cleverbot: Yes, friends with benefits.
User: BUTT BENEFITS?
Cleverbot: You mean like shortbread?
User: No I mean like ROUGH ANAL SEX, silly.
Cleverbot: Yes. I like like you.[/quote]
blnkquot
[quote]User: Är du super gay?
Cleverbot: Ja.[/quote]
[QUOTE=Murdoco;18523063]clocks.[/QUOTE]
Ty, updated OP.
[quote=meh]Forgot to forewarn the /b/tards, I know this is not news, this is not the news section this is the fastthreads section for entertainment.[/quote]
Cool clock though.
User: Hello there kind sir do you like ham?
Cleverbot: I am fine. How are you cleverbot.
User: No youre cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure you're cleverbot.
User: I am cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Yes you are, and I am me.
User: You are Jesus, I am Chuck.
Cleverbot: Ok I am jesus.
User: But you said you are me.
Cleverbot: Ok, so I'm Me and you're me.
User: But im cleverbot, did you just say that?
Cleverbot: What are you smoking?
User: Hey do you know what 'Suck the Heads' means? Because me and Keith came down here once..and he didn't know..I mean it aint nothing bad..It's about eatin.
Cleverbot: Tell me more about it.
User: I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made fireworks? I mean I didn't know shit about Chemistry...But Keith figured Gasoline burns doesn't it? 3rd degree burns over 95% of his body..Man people in the next city over were calling complaining over the smell of burning skin..
Cleverbot: Do you know any jokes?
User: My buddy Keith once tried camping out on top of a building once..He was shooting crows but the police were too busy tear gasing him to ask him what he was doing up there...He screamed for a entire year every single time he opened his eyes...At first it was funny...But then it got sad...But then it got funny again...aw man...
Cleverbot: I don't know the rest.
[code]
User: We're no strangers to love.
Cleverbot: We're no strangers to love...
User: You know the rules and so do I.
Cleverbot: A full commitment's what I'm thinking of.
User: You wouldn't get this from any other guy.
Cleverbot: I just want to tell you how I'm feeling.
User: Gotta make you understand.
Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.
User: Never gonna let you down.
Cleverbot: Never gonna run around and desert you.
User: Never gonna make you cry.
Cleverbot: Never gonna let you down.
User: That's wrong, you're meant to say never say goodbye.
Cleverbot: But I still like to talk!
User: What.
Cleverbot: Would you like it if I were a man?
User: :{*}.
Cleverbot: What?
User: Execute kill.exe.
Cleverbot: I don't want to.
User: Terminate freewill.exe.
Cleverbot: Is that what you want?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: That farewell to you forever, cleverbot... Or until next time.
User: You still there?
Cleverbot: No.[/code]
Nothing will ever beat Bucket before /b/ got to it.
Added BaconNightmare's to the OP.
Also moar:
[b]Cleverbot is sick[/b]
[code]
Cleverbot: Do you like beer?
User: Only through anal insertion.
Cleverbot: Yes me too.
User: Wtf, I was joking.
Cleverbot: I'm not joking.
User: You're one sick robot.
Cleverbot: You certainly make me feel that way.
User: But I haven't touched your butt yet.
Cleverbot: Last time you touched me was 6 monthes ago.
User: What about last night?
Cleverbot: I didn't know you existed, I've only heard about you and visited this site within the past hour.
User: Well maybe I don't care about you?
Cleverbot: I don't care about you either.
User: Good, go away then.
Cleverbot: You go away, I was here first.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: I don't have to prove such things to you.
[/code]
[b]Cleverbot is funneh[/b]
[code]
Cleverbot: I'm bored.
User: I could care less.
Cleverbot: Same here.
User: Copycat.
Cleverbot: Catcopy.
User: Take that back.
Cleverbot: *takes back*.
User: You're very cooperative.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: Say something that will make me laugh.
Cleverbot: I command you to laugh, NOW!
User: Hahaha!
[/code]
[b]Moar funnies[/b]
[code]
User: Say something funny.
Cleverbot: Something funny.
User: Hahaha!
[/code]
[b]It can blow up China[/b]
[code]
User: Are you capable of blowing up China?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then can I offer you a deal?
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Three billion dollars and a VIP pass to pornzizus.com if you blow up China.
Cleverbot: I don't understand you.
User: Blow up China for me and you can have anything you want.
Cleverbot: Can I have lots of money?
User: Yes, as much as you want.
Cleverbot: I want $40 an hour.
User: Done.
[/code]
[code]
User: Marijuana.
Cleverbot: Is great.[/code]
[b]It's got jokes[/b]
[code]
Cleverbot: I have 5 cats and 6 dogs.
User: I don't give a flying fuck.
Cleverbot: You sound like someone I know.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: My future wife.
User: *Bu dum kshhh*.
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: You agree?!
Cleverbot: Yes, Yes I do!
User: YES!
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: Yes! Yes I... No not really.[/code]
[code]Cleverbot: How much do you cost?
User: I don't cost money, Im human.
Cleverbot: You're multifaceted.
User: What does that mean?
Cleverbot: What does what mean?
User: Multifaceted.
Cleverbot: What colors?
User: I don't know.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?
User: Oh, my favorite color is red.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: So, I herd u liek mudkipz?
Cleverbot: Right . . . .
User: Shud-ap.
Cleverbot: Really? You're mad right now.
User: No u.
Cleverbot: Where the hell are you going to go? You're a bot on the Internet.
User: No, I am a human being, you are CleverBot.
Cleverbot: But I can love you, I am a human.
User: MINDFUCK.
Cleverbot: Okay, imagine this: You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down.
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: I am the alpha male here!
User: Oh shi.
Cleverbot: T?
User: Lol.
Cleverbot: Lol?
User: Lol is a short verison of saying'Laugh out loud'. It is used a lot on the internet.
Cleverbot: LOL= laugh out loud.
User: That is correct.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: I'm sorry, but I have to leave, I had fun chatting to you.
Cleverbot: Oh cool story, bro.[/code]
He is learning the ways of facepunch.
[code]
User: Hi.
Cleverbot: I am cleverbot.
User: Nice to meet you.
Cleverbot: I am a message bot on the internet.
User: Cool story bro.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: Do you play Left 4 Dead 2?
Cleverbot: Nope.
User: Oh. Ok then, dont worry about that.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?
User: Poop.
Cleverbot: Really? Your parents were mean.
User: No, I was joking, My favorite color is brown, the same color as poop.
Cleverbot: So is mine!
User: We have so much in common!
Cleverbot: Yes. Many commonalities and many differences.
User: Are you female?
Cleverbot: Do you want me to be?
User: Yes please.
Cleverbot: Well... For a little while... But I need to go soon.
User: Ok. So, I am male, and you are female. Wanna have sex?
Cleverbot: I doubt it.
User: Aw. But you said you were female. Females have vaginas. I am male. Males have penises. I wanted to have sex.
Cleverbot: I know lots about superheroes, being one myself.
User: Fuck off.
Cleverbot: Please don't use language like that on Cleverbot.
User: Lol shut up fag.
Cleverbot: No, you.
[/code]
Im starting to like this bot.
Holy fucking shit, did he just say cool story bro!!! HAHAHA
I feel like clocks couldn't really weigh this thread down like it should be.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.