'My Husband's Not Gay': Married Men Attracted To Men
121 replies, posted
[video=youtube;9OrU6G2tRaQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OrU6G2tRaQ[/video]
[QUOTE]Preston "Pret" Dahlgren has led what might seem like a picture-perfect Mormon life: He met his high school sweetheart in Sunday school as a teenager, completed his mission and married her. He is active in the church and the proud father of two young daughters.Dahlgren also is attracted to men.
His story is the subject of a new TV show called "My Husband's Not Gay," which gay-rights advocacy groups are calling irresponsible and dangerous. They want the TLC cable network to pull the plug on the program before it airs Sunday.
Dahlgren and another Mormon man from Utah featured in the show say they're happy in their marriages, and they hope the program gives stories like theirs a foothold in the conversation about sexuality.
Dahlgren said he's known he was attracted to men since he was about 12 years old, but he also always wanted the kind of family he grew up in: a father, mother and children.
"There are a lot of stories out there, and this just isn't one of them," Preston Dahlgren, 32, said in an interview with The Associated Press this week.
The gay rights group GLAAD, however, says the show sends the wrong message and is a sad reminder of so-called gay conversion therapy, often faith-based efforts designed to change sexual orientation that can be emotionally scarring. New Jersey and California in 2013 banned therapists from practicing gay conversion therapy on children and teenagers. The American Medical Association and the American Psychological Association do not support the therapy.
"No one can change who they love, and, more importantly, no one should have to," GLAAD president Sarah Kate Ellis said in a statement. "By investing in this dangerous programming, TLC is putting countless young LGBT people in harm's way."
The organization pointed to a change.org petition asking TLC to cancel the show that so far has gathered more than 80,000 signatures. Responding to GLAAD, the network says it will tell compelling stories about different ways of life, and the four men on the hourlong show speak only for themselves.[/QUOTE]
[url]http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/gay-advocates-assail-tv-show-husbands-gay-28055691[/url]
[editline]11th January 2015[/editline]
My parents hate gays, unfortunately, because something similar happened. They used to be friends with a couple, but the dude runs away for some guy. Hence, the hate.
[quote]Dahlgren said he's known he was attracted to men since he was about 12 years old, but he also always wanted the kind of family he grew up in: a father, mother and children.[/quote]
[quote] Jeff Bennion said he would be horrified if a parent told a gay child that they should be more like one of the men on the show.
"That's not anything that I would support or agree with," he said.
But Bennion said that he's happy with his wife and their 6-year-old son. "I can't believe how lucky I am," he said.[/quote]
I don't get it ? A show about gay men that made a choice by themselves to have a family with a woman and are happy together... and that is somehow wrong by "gay" standards ? I read the whole article, and they look pretty happy in the video... what am I missing here ?
Fuck TLC to the max; first Honey Boo Boo and now this backward fucking [I]garbage.[/I] To think that it used to be called The Learning Channel.
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[QUOTE=AntonioR;46901683]I don't get it ? A show about gay men that made a choice by themselves to have a family with a woman and are happy together... and that is somehow wrong by "gay" standards ? I read the whole article, and they look pretty happy in the video... what am I missing here ?[/QUOTE]
Uh, that it preaches that suppressing your urges suddenly makes you not gay? That closeting yourself to conform to bigoted teachings is admirable?
Those men didn't do what they're doing because wanted to, they did so because thay were taught that it was wrong to do otherwise.
[QUOTE=AntonioR;46901683]I don't get it ? A show about gay men that made a choice by themselves to have a family with a woman and are happy together... and that is somehow wrong by "gay" standards ? I read the whole article, and they look pretty happy in the video... what am I missing here ?[/QUOTE]
He is either a self-closeted gay man or just a bisexual. The main problem is that he basically tries to say that "all gays can be made normal, because I am".
Seeing child birth first hand made them gay
[QUOTE=gufu;46901722]He is either a self-closeted gay man or just a bisexual. The main problem is that he basically tries to say that "all gays can be made normal, because I am".[/QUOTE]
It's all a matter of self control. Some people, have no self control, and thus are totally controlled by whatever they feel at the moment.
Case in point, this individual. If he could control himself better, he'd be able to suck cock happily.
I don't see anything wrong with this, TLC has shows about all sorts of alternative lifestyles, including polygamy.
Why should a show about gay men living happy heterosexual lifestyles be treated any different?
[QUOTE=AntonioR;46901683]I don't get it ? A show about gay men that made a choice by themselves to have a family with a woman and are happy together... and that is somehow wrong by "gay" standards ? I read the whole article, and they look pretty happy in the video... what am I missing here ?[/QUOTE]
Erm, because its showing to the LGBT people, and the young ones, that you can change? While it might not be advocating that, its still influencing that they can change.
And also, it makes those conversion programs run by churches sound 'legitimate'
[QUOTE=AntonioR;46901683]I don't get it ? A show about gay men that made a choice by themselves to have a family with a woman and are happy together... and that is somehow wrong by "gay" standards ? I read the whole article, and they look pretty happy in the video... what am I missing here ?[/QUOTE]
Isn't it a bit naive to assume they made the choice by themselves and not because of social pressure? Or that they truly are happy with themselves just because they look like it?
I don't see how that's a problem. Some people behave differently than the norm, sometimes they're such freaks that we make a reality tv show out of them.
Polygamists, Hillbillies, crabers, ice truckers, Honey boo boo, everyone who lives in Alaska, and now people who sleep with those they aren't sexually attracted too.
If you hate reality tv in general I can see why you'd hate this, but I really don't see how this is any more damaging or stupid than any other reality tv show.
[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;46901796]Isn't it a bit naive to assume they made the choice by themselves and not because of social pressure? Or that they truly are happy with themselves just because they look like it?[/QUOTE]
It just seems like you guys are awfully eager to lambast a series that shows a gay lifestyle out of the "norm."
[QUOTE=DiscoMelon;46901693]Those men didn't do what they're doing because wanted to, they did so because thay were taught that it was wrong to do otherwise.[/QUOTE]
Don't know man, to me they looked smart enough to think for themselves and make their own choices in life.
[QUOTE=AntonioR;46901805]Don't know man, to me they looked smart enough to think for themselves and make their own choices in life.[/QUOTE]
So smart people aren't affected by social pressure and are unable to hide their feelings?
[QUOTE=Comrade_Eko;46901801]I don't see how that's a problem. Some people behave differently than the norm, sometimes they're such freaks that we make a reality tv show out of them.
Polygamists, Hillbillies, crabers, ice truckers, Honey boo boo, everyone who lives in Alaska, and now people who sleep with those they aren't sexually attracted too.
If you hate reality tv in general I can see why you'd hate this, but I really don't see how this is any more damaging or stupid than any other reality tv show.[/QUOTE]
There's a difference between reality tv about people's jobs like ice trucking and crabbing, and trying to show people that suppressing your sexual feelings towards the same gender is admirable and that being gay is not "normal."
Yes he is
[QUOTE=Propane Addict;46901818]There's a difference between reality tv about people's jobs like ice trucking and crabbing, and trying to show people that suppressing your sexual feelings towards the same gender is admirable and that being gay is not "normal."[/QUOTE]
[quote] Dahlgren and another Mormon man from Utah featured in the show say they're happy in their marriages, and [B]they hope the program gives stories like theirs a foothold in the conversation about sexuality.[/B][/quote]
Or maybe it's trying to introduce the idea that there's plenty of variations and alternatives in what it means to be gay, just like there's plenty of ways to interpret what it means to be straight?
[QUOTE=Propane Addict;46901818]There's a difference between reality tv about people's jobs like ice trucking and crabbing, and trying to show people that suppressing your sexual feelings towards the same gender is admirable and that being gay is not "normal."[/QUOTE]
I haven't watched the show, but in that video I never heard anyone say being gay is not normal or that they SHOULD surpres their feelings. They are talking about their experience and their choice. Nobody is forcing or judging anything. Again that is what I think after watching the video, maybe tv show is completely different.
We are talking about grown men aren't we? Men who are fully capable of making their own decisions.
Sexuality isn't black and white, obviously they are fine with the situation they have for themselves. It's just weird to see people come to the defense of the helpless masses that won't know if they like the peen or not if they watch this show.
One of my favorite English teachers once told my class a story about a friend of hers, who was happily married to a man. They bought a house, raised a family, and at one point he told her that he was homosexual. He still loves his wife, and they still have a somewhat active sex life, but he's just not sexually attracted to her. Their entire relationship is built around mutual love and respect for each other, with little sexual involvement.
In other words, romantic/platonic and sexual attraction don't necessarily have to be the same thing, and you don't necessarily need both to have a happy marriage.
On the other hand, though, the guys on this TV show are openly condemning the gay "lifestyle" and are doing it for their fucking bizarre religious views.
[QUOTE=DiscoMelon;46901693]Fuck TLC to the max; first Honey Boo Boo and now this backward fucking [I]garbage.[/I] To think that it used to be called The Learning Channel.
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Uh, that it preaches that suppressing your urges suddenly makes you not gay? That closeting yourself to conform to bigoted teachings is admirable?
Those men didn't do what they're doing because wanted to, they did so because thay were taught that it was wrong to do otherwise.[/QUOTE]
Yeah I agree. Imagine, if you will, they did a show about men who tried to live a closeted life, then came out and everyone lived more or less happily ever after. No, they instead chose to do a show which merely depicts gay men as behaving in a way that seems to mock a respected institution(marriage). At a time when gay marriage is being fought for, this is clearly an antagonistic choice.
I haven't watched the show, so it's not really right for me to weigh in on anything beyond the hypothetical.
That said, if the guy is attracted to men, but also women, and enjoys the relationship he already has - where's the conflict? The issue? He's bisexual - so... what? I understand there being an issue if the show casting it in the light of an admirable thing to do, suppress feelings or force yourself to be straight, but as I said, I haven't seen it. The title alone is already pretty nasty though, as it seems to cast homosexuality in a negative light and as "Whoa wait, he likes men, but look! Look at his generic nuclear family. At least he's not [U][I]gay[/I][/U]." So, I already suspect the show is pretty heavily biased. Or that's just how I'm interpreting it all. :v:
[QUOTE=Doom14;46901895]I haven't watched the show, so it's not really right for me to weigh in on anything beyond the hypothetical.
That said, if the guy is attracted to men, but also women, and enjoys the relationship he already has - where's the conflict? The issue? He's bisexual - so... what? I understand there being an issue if the show casting it in the light of an admirable thing to do, suppress feelings or force yourself to be straight, but as I said, I haven't seen it. The title alone is already pretty nasty though, as it seems to cast homosexuality in a negative light and as "Whoa wait, he likes men, but look! Look at his generic nuclear family. At least he's not [U][I]gay[/I][/U]." So, I already suspect the show is pretty heavily biased. Or that's just how I'm interpreting it all. :v:[/QUOTE]
From reading the description, I gather that he has know for a LONG time that he was attracted to men, but his want for a family was more important to him than sexual attraction.
[QUOTE=Silence I Kill You;46901909]From reading the description, I gather that he has know for a LONG time that he was attracted to men, but his want for a family was more important to him than sexual attraction.[/QUOTE]
And his religion taught him that pretty much any kind of marriage is just fine as long as there's only one man and he's in charge
Wouldn't this show encourage parents to suppress their kids?
[QUOTE=Propane Addict;46901818]There's a difference between reality tv about people's jobs like ice trucking and crabbing, and trying to show people that suppressing your sexual feelings towards the same gender is admirable and that being gay is not "normal."[/QUOTE]
What isn't admirable about having the willpower to control your base instincts?
[QUOTE=Pepsi-cola;46901949]Wouldn't this show encourage parents to suppress their kids?[/QUOTE]
In the same way shows with gay people in it might "turn kids gay", yeah.
[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;46901947]And his religion taught him that pretty much any kind of marriage is just fine as long as there's only one man and he's in charge[/QUOTE]
And he's happy that way. If everyone involved is happy with it, including him, and it's not hurting anyone, why should anyone care?
I don't know honestly, I haven't seen the actual show, I've just seen the stupid title and the trailer.
If they go about it as you guys THINK they're going to go about it I'll be right with you condemning it, but if they're just showing an alternative lifestyle like I think they're going to, then I'm going to have to retain my position.
My position being that reality tv sucks, but this show sucks no worse than any of the others.
[QUOTE=bIgFaTwOrM12;46901959]What isn't admirable about having the willpower to control your base instincts?[/QUOTE]
Because you are forcing yourself to believe a delusion, and thus it is detrimental to yourself. There isn't anything admirable about someone forcing themselves to believe they're something when they are not, especially when it within a context like this and it is broadcasted on a TV channel.
Not only is it detrimental to yourself, but to LGBT people everywhere.
[QUOTE=DiscoMelon;46901693]
Those men didn't do what they're doing because wanted to, they did so because thay were taught that it was wrong to do otherwise.[/QUOTE]
The fuck are you talking about?
[quoTE]
Dahlgren said he's known he was attracted to men since he was
about 12 years old, but he also always wanted the kind of family he
grew up in: a father, mother and children.[/quote]
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