A kid today told me he didn't give a shit about his family and he meant it
94 replies, posted
It was at work yesterday. There's this young guy named Doug. He is the most smug 20 year old I have ever met and I don't even know how he got this job. I'm about 10 years his senior and I gotta say, it really makes me sad. I know everyone has their reasons for dislike in the world, but the way he went on really made me sad inside because he reminded me of myself.
See, when I was about 26, my dad died of lung cancer. Smoked since he was 14. He went through more than a pack a day. He wanted to stop, he really did, but he just couldn't kick it before the inevitable happened. It made me sad to see him go when we were both so young (for his age, at least). But I was out of state taking my quarterly finals in college, and I wasn't even there to see him off before he died. The last thing he said to me was that he was going to miss me when he was gone and I didn't even register that he was going to die until after it happened. I got real depressed, almost failed out of college trying to cope by becoming a problem drinker. My mom remarried almost instantly but that doesn't mean I hate her for it. I graduated and fixed my life right up and here I am today.
But still, what that kid said to me really got to me. I just don't know how he could still think that. When people are 14 or 15 they gripe and complain and think their life is SO HORRIBLE because they can't buy MW2 or the newest Battlefield game. And here I am, listening to this prick go on and on about how his parents mistreated him as a kid. He sounded like he was a fucking teenager the way he was going on about how they didn't buy him what he wanted and things only he would care about. Material possessions and such things. I wanted to hit him but I didn't, I mean what he said hit me right where it hurts.
He didn't even intend to hurt me by saying he didn't give a shit, he was just going on about his troubles, which I can understand. Every person is their own person. But how can a fullgrown almost-legal adult say he hates his family and go down the list of things he hates them for? Most of them weren't even good reasons. I don't know why I'm ranting to Facepunch about this, but I guess I just need someone to talk to about it. I mean, there's nothing I could say back to him, and I know he really didn't mean it, but what can I do about it?
I guess what I'm asking is has anyone else here above the age of [teenager age here] encountered such a person? And, if you hate your family, what are your reasons? If it's legitimate I can understand your anger, but just thinking about the fact that his parents could die at any time for any reason and the only thing he thinks about them is how much he hates them is saddening.
I was a peer counselor at my high school, and I constantly heard things like this.
"I hate my mom", "I hate my dad" or "They push me too hard". Even a few cases of abuse.
He'll realize sooner or later that family is important. Maybe not now, but in the future he will.
That guy sounds like an absolute assclown.
Bad upbringing is to blame.
You always hear the older generations say how rude,immature, etc, the young people are but who raised them that way?
I'm a teenager. I get what you're saying. I have very little hope in my peers because of their smug sense of entitlement. I'm so fucking tired of people blaming their parents for their own fuck-ups--people especially within my generation. I'm lucky to have the family I do, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. We're dysfunctional in a lot of ways, but I know my parents have my best interest at heart. I honestly don't know how I'd cope of either if them died, so I'm sorry about your dad. It must have been awful, but I can't pretend to understand the anguish that must have put you through. You still seem like a strong person, though. I admire that.
When I was in middle school I was friends with the popular crowd and 1 guy was always shunned at..He said He wanted to kill everyone in the school, but me I just let him vent out on me and let him in the crowd and now he's my best friend.
His Mom is a crack-addict..His dad is a drunk and his brother shoots up with heroin and takes 20 Anxiety pills a day.
I hope to God he doesn't get pulled in
[QUOTE=Doomish;20892240]I graduated and fixed my life right up and here I am today.[/QUOTE]
Is that sarcasm? Because I wouldn't really call getting a job that someone 10 years your junior can apparently blag their way into as 'fixing your life right up'.
[QUOTE=Tickle;20892419]Is that sarcasm? Because I wouldn't really call getting a job that someone 10 years your junior can apparently blag their way into as 'fixing your life right up'.[/QUOTE]
okay i make good money and am married and i don't drink myself to death anymore that is good enough for me
He just wants a hug.
[QUOTE=Performual;20892293]You always hear the older generations say how rude,immature, etc, the young people are but who raised them that way?[/QUOTE]
Their friends.
[QUOTE=Doomish;20892240]
He didn't even intend to hurt me by saying he didn't give a shit, he was just going on about his troubles, which I can understand. Every person is their own person. But how can a fullgrown almost-legal adult say he hates his family and go down the list of things he hates them for? Most of them weren't even good reasons. I don't know why I'm ranting to Facepunch about this, but I guess I just need someone to talk to about it. I mean, there's nothing I could say back to him, and I know he really didn't mean it, but what can I do about it?[/quote]
What you can do is think about his situation, he might complain that he won't get any games or what he wanted, but think about it : Maybe his parents didn't care what HE wanted, and only cared about what they wanted their child to be?
Maybe they kept pushing him to play in some sport, when he didn't want to, but they kept on pushing and pushing, never listening to him.
What if he was abused by his parents? He probably won't talk about it to some stranger, and instead let hate fill him and rant about what you would say is trivial matters.
[QUOTE=Doomish;20892240]
I guess what I'm asking is has anyone else here above the age of [teenager age here] encountered such a person? And, if you hate your family, what are your reasons? If it's legitimate I can understand your anger, but just thinking about the fact that his parents could die at any time for any reason and the only thing he thinks about them is how much he hates them is saddening.[/QUOTE]
Of course, not every family is a happy one and well when you're younger you usually don't care about other stuff, you only care about yourself. It's a part of growing up for most people.
Personally I don't hate my parents, I love them very much and I didn't hate them in my teenage years, but I lost my dad when I were 16 so I know what it feels like to lose a father.
You only notice how much you miss something when it's gone, hind-sight is always 20/20.
What a dick
I know what you mean OP. I thought i hated my mother. One of the last things i said to her was that i hated her and i wouldnt go to her funeral.
I didn't know she would die a week later.
What's your job, OP?
[QUOTE=Doomish;20892240]But how can a fullgrown almost-legal adult say he hates his family and go down the list of things he hates them for? [b][highlight]Most[/b][/highlight] of them weren't even good reasons.[/QUOTE]
Perhaps because, by your own admission, he had a few good reasons?
[QUOTE=Identity;20892267]I was a peer counselor at my high school, and I constantly heard things like this.
"I hate my mom", "I hate my dad" or "They push me too hard". Even a few cases of abuse.
He'll realize sooner or later that family is important. Maybe not now, but in the future he will.[/QUOTE]
When you're abused, mentally or physically, then you do have every right to hate the people that do that to you. If you lived in a fractured home growing up, you'd know that.
In response to the OP as to why I hated my parents.
I grew up in a wealthy family, that's no lie or brag. You'd think this means a lot. It doesn't. After I was 4, neither of my parents saw me besides picking me up from school, taking me to school, dinner, or the occasional family outing(Once a year maybe). This left me with all the free time in the world. The other bonus of this is that I lived in the middle of nowhere. There was not a house to the either side that had children, or anyone that didn't have kids for at least 5 miles. My parents paid for me to go to a private school which had longer hours than regular school, and luckily for me, more annoying, angry, and stuck up teachers than regular school.
I was an odd kid having not socialized with anyone more than pre-school and obligatory hockey teams for kids, but that was my life at that point. I had no real friends until grade 9, not by any lack of my own trying, or social awkwardness(That was overcame relatively early, I just didn't have friends due to my parents and their rules about no going to other kids houses.). By this time, my mom had started her job as a Realtor and had no time at all to be home, and to cook dinner, my dad was a succesful lawyer, owned his own firm, and made tons of money on insurance claims. Needless to say, he was out of the house more than in it after I turned 5. I'd like to note, before I turned 4 or 5, my parents were fairly devoted, and had a lot of free time to spend with me. Once I started school, they used that as an excuse to ignore me on my day to day life.
I was beaten for misbehavior by my father, who was a raging alcoholic until I was 12, I was yelled at by my mother, but they "made up" for this with physical gifts once in a while, I guess this was the only way they could keep me entertained seeing as I had no friends, and no neighbors, so I lived and was raised off the TV. I played hockey regularly at this point for exercise, but most of the other kids didn't like me. I'll admit, I was a weird kid, but all the same, I had few people to talk to, and it had become routine by this point that I was the butt of jokes from my schoolmates, and my hockey team. Needless to say, I was a very emotional child. By the time I turned 15, some things had changed. I had friends, I was allowed to have friends over, and my parents no longer beat me, or verbally abused me for random things.
When I turned 16, my dad slowed down his work, and my mom did as well. They began to spend time at home, and things were still tumultuous for us. We didn't get a long, my dad was no longer an alcoholic, but my mom was still a fat bitch to my father, and to myself most of the time. This was due to her menopause, or mid life crisis. My dad, for background reference, was 51 when I was born, and at this time was 67. He wasn't frail, he grew up on a farm, worked his way to where he was alone(you should see his brother, he's extremely rich), and despite being a smoker since he was 11, was incredibly healthy. He had 3 kids before me. My dad could have easily beat your dad into submission. He regularly lifted 100lb sacks of fertilizer as he had a passion for gardening, and lots of other shit. Frankly, by this time, my life was fairly Topsy turvy, and I'm omitting all my personal problems outside of family for this as that would easily take up another two pages, but my family life was still hard. Until I turned 18, nothing really got better at all. At this point, my family was fairly functional, having marital, alcohol, and other abuses dealt with.
Yes, kids can have every reason to hate their parents. Don't think that kids are spoiled brats every time. I hated my parents all my life, and I resented them even when I turned 18, but I forgave them eventually.
The story of the OP's father dying almost threw me completely off the thread subject. Rated heart.
you mean like he didnt give his family a turd? thats not so rare , i dont do either, i do not give a shit to my family
[QUOTE=Doomish;20892240]I guess what I'm asking is has anyone else here above the age of [teenager age here] encountered such a person?[/QUOTE]
Yes, probably 95% of my class. I think it's a shame to be honest, especially since I lost my father when I was 12.
This guy sounds like a giant prick, I mean my parents argued and shit and were pretty hypocritical between me and my sisters but god knows I still love them no matter how much I gripe about my sister being pretty spoiled.
I dislike being around my mum, but not because of material possessions. No, it's much more immature. She makes me feel dumb by speaking to me.
I have a friend who is father died a couple of months after he was born.
He then say that if is grand parent would be there to help him, he would probably have killed himself because of is mother who is in my opinion and his, a total nightmare
It's because of these new video games you see.
that is sad dude, you know imo the best way to quit smoking cigs is weed.
Right now I'm talking to a girl whose dad hits her.
Yeah, person OP talked about is retarded.
[QUOTE=Evanlution;20893510]I dislike being around my mum, but not because of material possessions. No, it's much more immature. She makes me feel dumb by speaking to me.[/QUOTE]
I know EXACTLY how you feel, I am the same way.
As for me, I have lived a mediocre life, I had always hated my parents when I was younger because I couldn't have what I wanted all the time, but now i realize its nothing to really hate them for. My father never had anything wrong with him, he seemed a successful person to me when I was a child anyways, but it started to show that he really didn't like working who he was working for and with, but if its what he is happy with, he really doesn't show it. He would yell at me every now and then for not finishing homework and hit me, but not beat, they are two different things.
As for my mother, read the quote response. When she yells at me to do something and i don't, it feels like I am fighting with a child, that wants her way about EVERYTHING. It just kinda pisses me that she has the nerve to tell me to watch my sister when she isn't around the house CONSTANTLY cleaning. And if that isn't the case, then she is downstairs watching TV.
But hey, i'm 15 now and life is just fine.
I absolutely love my parents. They are great to me. They gave me what I needed when I was younger and they didn't spoil me. They raised me awesomely, never indoctrinated me in the ways of religion or lack thereof(didn't even know they were atheists until I had made up my mind that I was one). Always nice to me. Never swore around me, taught me good manners, never hit me. The only deterrent I even needed to stop myself from swearing was the story of how my dad once washed out the mouths of my brother and sister with soap and the only deterrent I needed to stop myself from being a bad kid was the guilt trips.
[editline]11:31PM[/editline]
By the way, I'm 14 and I'm proud to say I love my awesome parents :love:
[editline]11:34PM[/editline]
The only issue I have with my mother is that she can be a bit irritating at times. In the big picture it's really small things like ruining movies by explaining the plot to everyone as if they were 5 and repeating the same request/question over and over again even after you've answered her.
Small things. I still love her.
The whining your talking about sounds like my little brother who bitches and gives everybody "I want to fucking murder you" glares if he is asked to do the simplest thing.
He doesn't appreciate anything and just makes a mess all around the house and bitches and complains if the wind blows in a way he doesn't like.
Thanks for sharing, an interesting read indeed. I actually know several people who have big problems with their families, real problems that is. It seems to me that as time goes by they rather feel sorry for their parents then hate them, but you probably need to get more mature.
Meh, I'm thirteen, and I don't [i]hate[/i] them, I [i]dislike[/i] them, my dad scares the shit out of me, my mother needs me half the time because she has severe scoliosis. My dad however is fucking scary, he made us move over 1200 miles for his job, I understand that, but I've been here for a year and have not made a single damned friend, and have severe depression since I moved. Another thing is, my dad always gets pissed off and he just either doesn't talk to you whatsoever or just yells a fuck-ton. I have material things, but I would rather have one true friend than all the shit I have.
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