I found a Chinese scroll. Need someone to translate
59 replies, posted
I found this while walking around my neighborhood.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a166/ballsandy/100_2386.jpg[/IMG]
[thumb]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a166/ballsandy/100_2388.jpg[/thumb]
Looking it over it's not a cheap reproduction either. Inked (both written and stamped) onto a red paper that appears to have gold leaf pressed into it, then bonded to a white fabric which is fastened to a varnished wooden dowel at one end. It looks nice as a centerpiece above my fireplace.
Me and a friend are debating what it is. I say it's something religious, he says it's a curse. I need someone who can ubnderstand Chinese to help me figure out what it really says and if I should hold onto it or dispose of it before I start growing tumors and have a piano fall on me.
Looks like something you shoudn't take.
HURRY BEFORE YOU ARE CURSED AND SUFFER ETERNAL PAIN
where did you find it? looks like it belongs to someone
[QUOTE=ZeroS;32948260]HURRY BEFORE YOU ARE CURSED AND SUFFER ETERNAL PAIN[/QUOTE]
Eternal virginity.
U R TEH PROPHET.
OP your the chosen one that scroll was intended to come into your hands... go go to China but you might end up dying finish the quest you unintendedly started
That carpet is like my OCD's worst nightmare.
_snip_ completely over-glorified the fact that this is some wall decoration from a restaurant
So you discovered a like-new scroll covered in Chinese writing while walking around suburban Canada, and you want to know whether or not you've stumbled onto something fascinating and rare, perhaps dropped by a yakuza boss or a rogue ninja? I hate to break it to you, but what you've "unearthed" is just a decorative wall hanging. It probably got lifted out of a cut-rate Chinese restaurant with a name like "China King," or "Great Wall Buffet."
[editline]24th October 2011[/editline]
You could buy the same damn thing for about twenty bucks out of any store featuring incense and little granite Buddha statues.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;32948438] I hate to break it to you, but what you've "unearthed" is just a decorative wall hanging. It probably came out of a cut-rate Chinese restaurant with a name like "China King," or "Great Wall Buffet."
[/quote]
I'm siding with you on that one. I really can't disagree with that either as asians make up a fair part of the demographic for the lower mainland.
Start a religion based on what it says!
[QUOTE=bobsmit;32948693]Start a religion based on what it says![/QUOTE]
[I]"Try Fish Special #9!"[/I]
Praised be these menu items.
All hail General Tsao's Chicken, blessings and peace be upon him!
[QUOTE=MIPS;32948226]I found this while walking around my neighborhood.
[thumb]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a166/ballsandy/100_2388.jpg[/thumb]
[/QUOTE]
I am loling at your feet because you told me to.
[QUOTE=oakman26;32948344]Doesnt look like modern chinese[/QUOTE]
[img]http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/1109/101415-big_trouble_china_xl_03_film_a.jpg[/img]
It's an ARG for Scrolls.
A lot of these characters look like topless female bodies
[QUOTE=bobsmit;32948693]Start a religion based on what it says![/QUOTE]
It's like in [i]Franklyn[/i], specifically the Washing Machine Instruction Manual Religion.
"Orange chicken: $3.99"
"Sushi: $4.99"
"Egg roll: $0.99"
I could be wrong.
Return the Slab.
I've spoken Chinese all my life. It's my second tongue. And I'm not sure that you'll like the outcome of this.
it says:
"Place the Grain in the basket.
Place the cotton on top.
Place the sugarcane around the basket.
For you won't know when it will pop.
You can never harvest too many crops.
You will never stop working.
The whole world and your family needs crops.
So stop sitting in the back and jerking.
I see you in the back masturbating.
Stop that right now and come control this ox.
You never see me taking a break and masturbating.
So stop circle jerking and skeeting in your socks.
This is your eviction notice.
All your property will be taken by the government.
Because you did not notice.
That you could not pay your monthly rent."
[QUOTE=Chubbles;32948986]I've spoken Chinese all my life. It's my second tongue. And I'm not sure that you'll like the outcome of this.
it says:
"Place the Grain in the basket.
Place the cotton on top.
Place the sugarcane around the basket.
For you won't know when it will pop.
You can never harvest too many crops.
You will never stop working.
The whole world and your family needs crops.
So stop sitting in the back and jerking.
I see you in the back masturbating.
Stop that right now and come control this ox.
You never see me taking a break and masturbating.
So stop circle jerking and skeeting in that box.
This is your eviction notice.
All your property will be taken by the government.
Because you did not notice.
That you couldn't pay your rent."[/QUOTE]
I think your parents strategically placed that for you.
[QUOTE=Chubbles;32948986]I've spoken Chinese all my life. It's my second tongue. And I'm not sure that you'll like the outcome of this.
it says:
"Place the Grain in the basket.
Place the cotton on top.
Place the sugarcane around the basket.
For you won't know when it will pop.
You can never harvest too many crops.
You will never stop working.
The whole world and your family needs crops.
So stop sitting in the back and jerking.
I see you in the back masturbating.
Stop that right now and come control this ox.
You never see me taking a break and masturbating.
So stop circle jerking and skeeting in that box.
This is your eviction notice.
All your property will be taken by the government.
Because you did not notice.
That you couldn't pay your rent."[/QUOTE]
This is convincing bullshit.
Especially that 3rd stanza
[editline]24th October 2011[/editline]
Oh fuck you broke my automerge
I have a hell bank note from Vietnam, pretty sure it's from the 60s during the Vietnam war.
It's a shopping list
How the fuck do you "find" a Chinese scroll?
[QUOTE=The.Joker;32949477]How the fuck do you "find" a Chinese scroll?[/QUOTE]like this: "durp de durp oh shit a Chinese scroll"
My god, you found the elder scrolls, it truly is dragonborn!
[QUOTE=Conro101;32949489]like this: "durp de durp oh shit a Chinese scroll"[/QUOTE]
Welcome to Vancouver: A place where the 99% and 1% are divided in some cases by a single city block and you can find everything from supercomputers to porn magazines in the alley with the trash.
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