I am wondering what your Fuck my life moments are, however there is one rule. Your moment has to be recent, definition of recent is within the last two years.
My Fuck my life moment was after I had a threesome in my room I realized I had forgotten to close the shades the right way, my bed is right in the front of a window, and the window faces towards the smokers bench. The bench is by a sidewalk leading to the parking lot. I still occasionally hear about it.
So Facepunch lets hear your stories.
Once I dropped my hotdog. It was a really good hotdog too :frown:
Me & my girlfriend broke up. :frown:
I'm getting over it though.
[QUOTE=Bloody_teers;19517892]I am wondering what your Fuck my life moments are, however there is one rule. Your moment has to be recent, definition of recent is within the last two years.
My Fuck my life moment was after I had a threesome in my room I realized I had forgotten to close the shades the right way, my bed is right in the front of a window, and the window faces towards the smokers bench. The bench is by a sidewalk leading to the parking lot. I still occasionally hear about it.
So Facepunch lets hear your stories.[/QUOTE]
Ahaha, whatever you say buddy.
One time I was flirting with this really hot girl and we seemed to click really well until I realized she's 13. I'm 16.
One time I fell down a set of stairs.
The only voice I heard was my Grandma's, she was yelling at me about how I should be more careful.
I broke my left arm.
Whenever I realize that I'm a virgin.
I got really drunk and I was at McDonalds and the security guards there were kicking me and friends out cause I was drunk and I was a potential harm to people, even though all I was doing was enjoying My McDs the only way I can actually enjoy it, drunk as fuck.
So after they told me that I walked around the restaraunt offering people meth jokingly. The 3rd person I said it to was an off duty cop. One short drunk footchase through a crowded McDonalds later I wake up with a bitchin hangover in cells.
[b]Fuck my life[/b]
Trying to finish up a project I needed to pass a class, and having to do it three times because TWO flashdrives were stolen and the school computers which I'd been working on automatically delete anything saved on them at the end of the day.
And even though I got it done and turned in/passed eventually, the teacher lost the third flashdrive.
[QUOTE=Boobookittyfuck;19518230]Ahaha, whatever you say buddy.[/QUOTE]
It actually happened, it was two girls one guy. The girls consisted of me and my friend, the guy was my friends boyfriend. However during that time there was a sex ed talk in the lobby. We skipped it.
[QUOTE=Boobookittyfuck;19518230]Ahaha, whatever you say buddy.[/QUOTE]
Funny thing about that... True story.
[QUOTE=whenisitover;19518251]One time I was flirting with this really hot girl and we seemed to click really well until I realized she's 13. I'm 16.[/QUOTE]
Where's the FML moment?
:q:
[QUOTE=Bloody_teers;19518387]It actually happened, it was two girls one guy. The girls consisted of me and my friend, the guy was my friends boyfriend. However during that time there was a sex ed talk in the lobby. We skipped it.[/QUOTE]
Heh, I was at the sex-ed talk. It was pretty boring.
[QUOTE=Bloody_teers;19518387]It actually happened, it was two girls one guy. The girls consisted of me and my friend, the guy was my friends boyfriend. However during that time there was a sex ed talk in the lobby. We skipped it.[/QUOTE]
Refer to my first post.
Got in my car and drove to work on Wednesday morning, after 6 1/2 inches of snow. No calls from my boss or anything. Snow still wasn't all the way cleared.
I was almost to work when I recieved a call on my cell phone about how the office was closed due to the harsh weather and overall suckiness of outside.
I facepalmed hard enough to leave a red mark on my nose.
[QUOTE=grea$emonkey;19518405]Heh, I was at the sex-ed talk. It was pretty boring.[/QUOTE]
Didn't you get the paper that said 'penis is erect'?
[QUOTE=Bloody_teers;19518448]Didn't you get the paper that said 'penis is erect'?[/QUOTE]
Yes. :q:
This happened today.
I was going to get my driverslicence. I thought i had a time at the DMV or whatever you guys like to call it.
When i get into the building i get informed that i was supposed to be there 2 hours ago. Of course i wasn't beliving that but like the doormat that i am i went home.
I looked at the note i've got with the time and date of the driverstest. It noticed that the note said the time i originally thought.
Ofcourse i got pissed so i told my father that the DMV had just cheated me out of a 100bucks, paid by him.
Right after the call i noticed that the drivestest i held in my hand has infact dated a month ago on a old test and that the people at the DMV wasn't cheating me out of money.
My only thought at that moment was: OH SHIT.WHERES THE CELLPHONE!
I called my father again to tell him that i screwed up not him and that theres no reason to be angry.
I now owe my father a 100 bucks and i will have to redo the teroretic part of the test due to reasons of dumbfuckery.
I saw this thread
I was on the google website and doing some research for an upcoming project, the teacher just happened to walk right past me when I typed in 'what are' and as some of you may have known,
it would say "what are these strawberries doing on my nipples i need them for the fruit salad". Needless to say, I told her it was a cooking book, she didn't believe me and then sent me to the principal's office.
Fuuu-
I used sandpaper to wipe my ass. FML
I used my ass to wipe my sandpaper. FML
I was being a little flirty with these two girls that came into my work. I was also a little out of it from an earlier dinner rush. I asked what they ordered to eat, then their name (so I can put it on the food ticket).
We then made some small talk, then they asked my name. I told them. About 20 seconds later, they said my name, and I was like, "wait... how do you know my name?" because I completely forgot I told them 20 seconds earlier. I got one of them their drink, but we were out of straws on the counter.
I reached up on a shelf above my head to get more straws, but in the process knocked down an entire box of coffee stirrers causing them to spill all over the floor. This is while the girls were watching.
Anyways, after all this idiocracy, I found out the girls were 14. I'm 19.
I opened an Itzakadooze upside down and it fell :(
I was looking forward to it too, it was a hot day.
I was chewing on an erasable ink pen today and it broke in my mouth
Luckily it soon turned invisible after some rubbing because those FriXion pens work by making the ink invisible once it hits 60 degrees celsius but [b]damn[/b] it tasted nasty
[QUOTE=Bloody_teers;19517892]My Fuck my life moment was after I had a threesome in my room I realized I had forgotten to close the shades the right way, my bed is right in the front of a window, and the window faces towards the smokers bench. The bench is by a sidewalk leading to the parking lot. I still occasionally hear about it.[/QUOTE]
I saw you through the window, sticking your little cock in those two blowups.
Today, I bought what tasted like the best Dr.Pepper i have ever drank, i dropped it and it spilled all over my floor. :smith:
[QUOTE=Poor Irish Boy;19520069]Today, I bought what tasted like the best Dr.Pepper i have ever drank, i dropped it and it spilled all over my floor. :smith:[/QUOTE]
Here's a tip: Don't eat just before you drink soda.
I was talking to one of my friends about something our teacher was talking about, the 'Accident' at Chernobyl. So it turned into a convo about a guy who survived BOTH atomic explosions in japan, and a teacher's kid heard us. He started to talk about nukes, and how a single nuke could destroy a country as large as China whereas a hydrogen bomb could only destroy barely a city.
:doh:
I facepalm'd and the kid was like OH LOOK NOW HE'S ASHAMED. It turned out, it left a red mark. Jesus that first day back at school was awkward.
[QUOTE=Poor Irish Boy;19520069]Today, I bought what tasted like the best Dr.Pepper i have ever drank, i dropped it and it spilled all over my floor. :smith:[/QUOTE]
What shall make you woe even more, is that I just finished a delicious Dr. Pepper.
I'm sorry.
:owned:
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.