I am a selfish jerk, and this is why. (R.I.P Tiffy)
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Just now was I was trying to sleep, my brain started thinking about my old pet, Tiffy. Then I realised something: I was a selfish dickhead to the one thing I ever truely loved, my dog. (She was older than me in human years)
Every day I would play with her after school, running around, playing ball. Life was perfect. A boy and his dog, the best dynamic duo. :3
Then the one thing I regret and wrecks at my soul all the time came...I found the computer and the internet.
Each day I would play the games on this peice of shit, it's like smoking. It's bad but you're hooked to it. I would hear Tiffy howling, calling for me to play with her. I ignored her and kept playing.
And one day, she stopped howling and spent the rest of her days laying around, wasting away. Someone left the gate open and she took off. Not a shit was given that day. And now I realise how selfish I was.
I wish I could see her one last time and say, "I am sorry." and hope she understands english. I blame myself for her running away.
I always thought that my life is perfect.
Then, I realised it wasn't perfect. I had no one to share this imperfect life with. If I did, it would be perfect.
Now I have another realisation. It cannot be perfect, with or without someone. This guilt will forever haunt me. I do not even know the day Tiffy died or what has happened to her...
Some can say I beat myself up too much.
I say they do not know the joys I had with that dog.
On hot days I would sit under the trampoline and she would sit in my lap and we would just sit there, watching the afternoon go by.
This one time, I was jumping on the tampoline from one side to the other. I did one too many jumps and jumped off the trampoline and almost landed on Tiffy. :v: I yelled "Look out!" and she bolted and yelped. I land and my chest (which hurt a lot) I did not cry in pain, let alone moan. All I could do was laugh as she licked my cheek.
[editline]31st May 2011[/editline]
No, I'm not a furry, I was a 10 year old who loved his dog like any other 10 year old boy did.
[editline]1st June 2011[/editline]
I figured this was the subforum people go to talk about emotional shit, hence "chat" threads.
I just read the stickie and turns out, I'm wrong. :smith:
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