I masturbated for the first time ever, and I'm having some problems...
130 replies, posted
[b]Skip this part until you see the red highlight if you want to help me with my problem...[/b]
Since joining facepunch, I heard alot of shit about fapping and fapping and fapping, and never tried it before. Alot of people said it releases alot of tension and stress in the body, and it's just like sex.
So after I got my ass handed to me in a 2v2 halo match, I was so god damn mad because I couldn't blame anyone but myself. It was a 2v2 sniper match, I am shit when it comes to snipping.
So I stormed off to the washroom to take a piss, but remembered about masturbation. So I started to jack off for about 1 minute, and I said fuck it, and stopped because it wasn't working.
I started playing some more video games until 7, then went up to watch some T.V for an hour. I started to get tired and took a shower.
I tried fapping again in the shower, and seriously fapping. My speed was about 240 faps per minute for 3 minutes until I climaxed. When I did, it was the most amazing thing in the world. I could not describe it with words that existed. I dried off and got a good nights rest.
In the morning, I woke up at 7:00AM, which was very unusual for me. I usually sleep until my mom starts telling me to get the fuck up. She asked why I was up so early and I said "I got a new girlfriend". I then went to school, failed a quiz, got home from school, and went straight to the bathroom to fap again.
It felt 10 times better, so I then went off to play reach and do some 2v2 snipers again, I won even with a shitty teammate.
Then I went back to the bathroom to "celebrate all over the ceiling". I remember that some people use lube for more pleasure, so I found a soap bottle and started fapping about 300 faps per minute. It was 60 times better. I did it for 1 minute until a creamed into some toilet paper.
I then went to go eat some food because I was starving after I came.
I then started playing some Far Cry 2, and raged at it because I couldn't make it stop freezing, so then I went to the washroom, my sister suddenly knocked on the door to get some towels for a mess she made while I was jacking off, and I immediately stopped and zipped my pants up as quickly as I could. I then opened the door and walked away from herwith a boner (thank god she didn't see it). I then came back upstairs to go eat some more food. I played some more games until 7, I then hopped in the shower at 9:00pm so I could do it privately again.
But this time, I couldn't do it. My dick was aching so god damn bad, I waited for my boner to go away, and looked at it and gasped.
It looked like it had a tumor...
[highlight]Story stops here, serious shit starts here[/highlight]
Let me show you what my dick looked like before I started fapping(flaccid)
====
Now after, (flaccid)
==O==
My penis was beat red, and ached like hell.
It felt like someone stabbed it a shitload of times.
Just that little lump hurts like a bitch, I found out it was the skin of my penis, not the inside of it was buring.
Was it because:
1) I fapped too much/too hard?
2) I used soap as a lube?
3) I was running with a boner?
4) I fapped too much, too fast?
I want to know if this will go away tomorrow morning, or if it's really serious.
Extra info:
I have a steady stream of pee
My fapping speed is about 200 faps per minute
I am known to have large hands, I do not know if that was a factor.
Also:
If you never fapped before, I recommended it.
If you're Catholic, it's a sin, just switch to Christianity like I did so you don't feel guilty.
It's better than it sounds.
[editline]6884[/editline]
This is not funny.
Here's an update on what my dick looks like now
:O()0=
It's gotten redder and is starting to itch
[editline]588384[/editline]
Now it looks like :0000
I think the criminal is the soap, it looks like a fat lady's thigh now.
If you want your dick thicker/wider, use soap.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Stupid thread idea" - Greeman))[/highlight]
Troll....?
[QUOTE=Dragon Master;25886000]Troll....?[/QUOTE]
I swear to god I am not a troll.
This is serious
Troll! TROOOOOLL!!!
Just saying, how is that NOT naturally working out???
First time I jerked, everything just kind of fell into place :v:
You made god cry today
You broke it
[QUOTE=Craptasket;25886016]You made god cry today[/QUOTE]
He's a pedo for watching me
priapism, see a doctor or your dick will fall off and youll die
Hairy palms, hairy palms, hairy palms!
You jacked off too much. Try to only do it once a day (twice if you really have to). More than three times means you have to take a week off from it.
You'll be in pain for a little bit, but you'll be alright. Go play some Halo and let your dick rest.
Visit the penis doctor.
[QUOTE=Agoat;25886045]You jacked off too much. Try to only do it once a day (twice if you really have to). More than three times means you have to take a week off from it.
You'll be in pain for a little bit, but you'll be alright. Go play some Halo and let your dick rest.[/QUOTE]
Ah thank you.
But I heard people jack off at least 10 times a day? Or are they just lying fucks that trick idiots like me?
The red spot on your penis is just a sore spot from fapping too hard/too much, it will go away if you stop fapping for a day or so.
blolg
Cut it off
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;25886006]I swear to god I am not a troll.
This is serious[/QUOTE]
If your not a troll, you must be really stupid (no offence)...
Why would a person admit to all this stuff on a website renowned for having no simpathy. I think you would more likely talk to a doctor than post the schedule and occurances of such things, due to having [B]"dignity"[/B]. I call trolling!
You fapped so hard that you stretched out the skin and created a hole. It's like scraping yourself, but on your dick.
Just don't fap for 3 days, and next time you do it, use only a little lube or whatever. Take it easy.
[QUOTE=reltih floda;25886068]blolg[/QUOTE]
It's down/broken
[editline]5th November 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=Dragon Master;25886075]If your not a troll, you must be really stupid (no offence)...
Why would a person admit to all this stuff on a website renowned for having no simpathy. I think you would more likely talk to a doctor than post the schedule and occurances of such things, due to having [B]"dignity"[/B]. I call trolling![/QUOTE]
As you can see, 2/11 people are nice and serious about this.
It's worth the risk.
Also, I don't have any dignity
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;25886065]Ah thank you.
But I heard people jack off at least 10 times a day? Or are they just lying fucks that trick idiots like me?[/QUOTE]
Good luck fighting prostate cancer at the age of 20!
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;25886065]Ah thank you.
But I heard people jack off at least 10 times a day? Or are they just lying fucks that trick idiots like me?[/QUOTE]
No, you can't jack off 10 times a day.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;25885984]
If you're Catholic, it's a sin, just switch to Christianity like I did so you don't feel guilty.
[/QUOTE]
There are multiple things wrong with this statement.
Eh, it's just roflburger guys, calm down.
[QUOTE=Agoat;25886116]No, you can't jack off 10 times a day.[/QUOTE]
Gotta admit, even after jacking off once, I'm tired as fuck. I couldn't imagine 10 times.
Why would you feel guilty about fapping? I mean, I feel kind of bad when I fap because I know I will never really make intimate love to a girl friend. But you shouldn't feel guilty because your god doesn't like it when you cum all over your underwear.
{lol 24 people intrested in this thread??}
Your not supposed to jack off 10 times a day you ass hat
Maybe THATS why its not working??? :smug:
[QUOTE=cqbcat;25886139]I know I will never really make intimate love to a girl friend.[/QUOTE]
I blame your attitude. Man the fuck up, dude.
[QUOTE=cqbcat;25886139]Why would you feel guilty about fapping? I mean, I feel kind of bad when I fap because I know I will never really [B]make intimate love to a girl friend.[/B] But you shouldn't feel guilty because your god doesn't like it when you cum all over your underwear.[/QUOTE]
The differences between sex and masturbating are huge. Lot more emotion/feelings involved with sex. Your hand doesn't have that.
Semi ninja'd
[QUOTE=Nova Prospekt;25886145]{lol 24 people intrested in this thread??}
Your not supposed to jack off 10 times a day you ass hat
Maybe THATS why its not working??? :smug:[/QUOTE]
You see the red X on your screen? The one at the top right? Yeah, click that.
[QUOTE=Elizer;25886159]The differences between sex and masturbating are huge. Lot more emotion/feelings involved with sex. Your hand doesn't have that.
Semi ninja'd[/QUOTE]
I wasn't ninja'd. I know there's a difference. It just makes me feel bad cause I'm a loser who just sits in front of the computer fapping to porn. But there's nothing deeper than that. It's just lust and it's not satisfying.
[QUOTE=cqbcat;25886198]I wasn't ninja'd. I know there's a difference. It just makes me feel bad cause I'm a loser who just sits in front of the computer fapping to porn. But there's nothing deeper than that. It's just lust and it's not satisfying.[/QUOTE]
Then go outside and fucking do something about it instead of sulking around like an obnoxious nerd. Girls are people, they think just like you do. They want someone special. You need to go out there and show that you can be that someone.
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