So, I've heard a lot of talk about this fanfic. I'm pretty sure it's a troll who wrote the whole thing, but it's hilarious nonetheless, seeing as there is a good majority of horny teenage girls who write fanfics like this.
Just thought you guys might enjoy it.
[url]http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm[/url]
Excerpt:
[quote]Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.
“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. “Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…
Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.
“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”
“This cannot be.” Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”
“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.
Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.
“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.
“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.
“Because you’re goffic?” Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.
“Because I LOVE HER!”[/quote]
I haven't read through the whole thing, but I'm working on it. :B It's good for a few lulz.
Post your favorite parts if you like.
[quote]And Loopin was masticating to it! [/quote]
Hope he doesn't get crumbs all over the lawn.
The strangest thing about this is that they literally place names of things " a Linkin Park song at full volume"
Loopin
What, what is this?:ohdear:
what the actual fuck
What did I just read? It really wasn't that funny. At all.
trollin'
This is notorious as being the worst fanfic of all time.
wat
what is this. I just read chapter 5 and oh god I think I'm going to throw up.
I think "Squad Broken" could be a contender for that :S
*edit*
For the "Worst fanfic" award I mean
[quote]“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.
“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McGonagall.
“How dare you?” demanded Professor Snape.
And then Draco shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”
Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”[/quote]
wuhh
This makes John Freeman sad.
This is why I don't read fanfics anymore. Too many girls fantasizing and not enough with actual writing skills.
I've read the entire thing before. It's pretty lol but the last chapters are just lazy.
[QUOTE=Ryu-Gi;16183223]This is why I don't read fanfics anymore. Too many fat girls fantasizing and not enough with actual writing skills.[/QUOTE]
Fixed.
Also fyi if you haven't realised yet it's a giant troll on that fanfic website.
Gasp! A bad fan fic!
:v:
I'm not going to read it for the preservation of my own sanity.
this is what happens when the world dies.
You'd think it's an obvious troll, but given the quality of most fan-fiction, I can see why fan-fiction readers would fall for this.
I can't read this. It's possibly the most terrible thing on earth. This should be buried with the forced memes.
God this was fantastic when I first read it, very entertaining even though it's obviously a troll.
i'm 12 and what is this
for those not aware of Squad Broken by the way, it is a Warhammer 40K fanfic, read at your own risk.
[url]http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Squad_broken[/url]
[quote]“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”
It was………………………….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111[/quote]
The McGoggles do nothing!
Zombie Goasts leave this thread.
To be honest, I found it to be amazing.
[quote]Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a [b]gothic[/b] version of a [b]song by 50 Cent.[/b][/quote]
Why and how is this person imagining such music. Did they even have vampires and MP3's in the series?..What's wrong with this person?
--
This story makes absolutely no sense. I have so much questions to ask the author.
[quote]
And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”
It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore![/quote]
Draco was fucking Dumbledore!
Also, Dumbledore screaming that would make me :v:
[QUOTE]Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way...[/QUOTE]
Good god... The first half of the first sentence and I already don't want to read it.
[QUOTE]I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding[/QUOTE]
I lol'd.
[QUOTE]I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.[/QUOTE]
Oh... God... This is just getting more and more stupid. I think my computer is trying to crash so that it doesn't have to display this piece of shit anymore.
[QUOTE]Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked.[/QUOTE]
How cruel of him, everyone knows video cameras need to use the bathroom like the rest of us.
Oh, and it appears that "Snap" and "Loopin" are still alive in the next chapter. I'm not quite sure what "Abra Kedavra" does, but I can only assume that it confers immunity to a "gazillion" bullets.
[QUOTE]“Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”[/QUOTE]
Wait, he's a what now? That's not even close to necrophiliac.
[QUOTE]It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was…….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers![/QUOTE]
What the fuck? They came? I feel like I'm losing my sanity as I'm reading this.
[QUOTE]“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”[/QUOTE]
I don't even think I want to know what erective means.
[QUOTE]“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”[/QUOTE]
Dumbledore has Alzheimers? News to me. I'm also quite surprised that this person actually is able to use quotes properly.
[QUOTE]“You fucking bustard!” yelled Draco at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!1”[/QUOTE]
No comment.
[QUOTE]Sorious cocked on da door. I hopened it.[/QUOTE]
If someone cocked on my door, the last thing I would do is open it.
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