• How busing your girlfriend's throat isn't a good idea.
    101 replies, posted
I'll start from the beginning I didn't know if this story would be good enough to share with facepunch but I still chuckle from laughing about it and thought why the fuck not. This happened a little more then a year ago, I was dating a girl back then (still am actually) we live about an hour from each other and this was about when she was sixteen and I was only fifteen, to makeup for living far away from each other we usually sleep over at each others houses. I stayed over for about a week during Christmas break and to celebrate New Years Eve with them, a few days before the eve we decided to get out, we usually get busy in her truck or something in a vacant parking lot. Why you ask? Her dad was arrested back when he was in his early twenties for gang fighting and assorted shit ( He's white, and about 5'10, but he's intimidating as fuck) to give you a clue how this man showed off how to not fuck with his daughter he made me sleep in the guest room which was also located next to their twelve shotguns, four rifles, and two bows (they both hunt regularly). Doing shit at her house is like playing with fire, and I would not want to be caught by this guy. Anyways, we decided to stop at movie theater and watch a quick two hour or so movie. We started watching the movie normal enough, but only four or so people showed up and they all sat in the front rows (being teenagers we sat in the back). She was tracing her finger around my leg, and we started making out and before you know it we got kind of heated. After a bit she offered to give me head, being a horny as fucking teenager I quickly accepted, thinking I was the most badass person to get head and watch a movie at the same time. She was pretty avid at it and was gagging pretty hard (I later found out she that it was "good" for her to gag). We quickly finished up and went home where she complained of a headache, she took some pills and was fine for the next few days. After this, New Years morning she blacked out and passed out in the upstairs bathroom. She was brought to the hospital where they took all sorts of tests and had to remove some skin from her throat to test. What she didn't tell me was she had strep about a week before I came and finished her last anti-botic before she saw me, she was cured but had a very weak immune system. This ended up not being a good thing because a bruise had formed on the inside of her mouth and it turned into a sore before becoming infected. She also had mono and strep, I started freaking out thinking I'd get some weird dick cheese disease and die. The doctor also asked her mom "How the hell did she bruise her throat, I haven't seen this at all in my ten years of practice!" Which I thought was the funnies shit ever after she made up some bullshit story about swallowing her tooth brush by accident. I later found out I had strep, and she had almost had to have injections to her heart but she recovered and turned out fine. It was one of the funniest situations of my life looking back on it now. In return for me getting strep throat she allowed me to brag to my friends about bruising a girls throat. ps: I don't have a huge dick, it was mostly the gagging part that made her bruise her throat. tldr; i fucked a goat
eh? this doesn't look right.
[QUOTE=Mr.Dounut;27362578]I'll start from the beginning I didn't know if this story would be good enough to share with facepunch but I still chuckle from laughing about it and thought why the fuck not. This happened a little more then a year ago, I was dating a girl back then (still am actually) we live about an hour from each other and this was about when she was sixteen and I was only fifteen, to makeup for living far away from each other we usually sleep over at each others houses. I stayed over for about a week during Christmas break and to celebrate New Years Eve with them, a few days before the eve we decided to get out, we usually get busy in her truck or something in a vacant parking lot. Why you ask? Her dad was arrested back when he was in his early twenties for gang fighting and assorted shit ( He's white, and about 5'10, but he's intimidating as fuck) to give you a clue how this man showed off how to not fuck with his daughter he made me sleep in the guest room which was also located next to their twelve shotguns, four rifles, and two bows (they both hunt regularly). Doing shit at her house is like playing with fire, and I would not want to be caught by this guy. Anyways,[/QUOTE] Anyways,
[QUOTE=Mr.Dounut;27362578]I'll start from the beginning I didn't know if this story would be good enough to share with facepunch but I still chuckle from laughing about it and thought why the fuck not. This happened a little more then a year ago, I was dating a girl back then (still am actually) we live about an hour from each other and this was about when she was sixteen and I was only fifteen, to makeup for living far away from each other we usually sleep over at each others houses. I stayed over for about a week during Christmas break and to celebrate New Years Eve with them, a few days before the eve we decided to get out, we usually get busy in her truck or something in a vacant parking lot. Why you ask? Her dad was arrested back when he was in his early twenties for gang fighting and assorted shit ( He's white, and about 5'10, but he's intimidating as fuck) to give you a clue how this man showed off how to not fuck with his daughter he made me sleep in the guest room which was also located next to their twelve shotguns, four rifles, and two bows (they both hunt regularly). Doing shit at her house is like playing with fire, and I would not want to be caught by this guy. Anyways,[/QUOTE] I think he died mid way by those twelve shotguns, four rifles, and two bows.
Looks like he was about to die and hit the post button with his last bit of strength.
[QUOTE=Ins4ne;27362631]I think he died mid way by those twelve shotguns, four rifles, and two bows.[/QUOTE] And the dad hit the post button send a message to all future boyfriends. [editline]11th January 2011[/editline] :ninja:
The conclusion left much to be desired
Well then, find a new girlfriend
Hahahaha. Hilarious.
I sense a new meme. Anyways, brag thread.
[QUOTE=Mr.Dounut;27362578]tldr; i fucked a goat[/QUOTE] Oh okay.
[QUOTE=Mr.Dounut;27362578] tldr; i fucked a goat[/QUOTE] And here I thought this was going to be a weird thread.
I'm pretty sure busing any part of your girlfriend would not be a good idea. Anyways,
I thought enter would make a new line :(
Well, in my opinion,
Urban dictionary's definiton of busing [release]Allowing liberal suburbanites to decide whats best for your childs education and at the same time they call you a racist. Busing white and black students from their own neighborhood's to each others schools to desgeregate. In 1974 a federal judge orderder Boston Public Schools to desegreate by forcing the poor white lower middle class children from south boston and the poor minority kids from roxbury to get bused to eachothers neighborhood schools. Both white and black students from Boston's schools should have been bused to Jewton or Wellsley where the real money is. Forced Busing was a mistake.[/release] You shouldn't of done that. Yes, I've read the OP, and that was a funny story.
[QUOTE=Mr.Dounut;27362863]I thought enter would make a new line :([/QUOTE] Oh, ok. Anyways,
But whar u find da goat
[QUOTE=GeneralSanchez;27362881]Well, in my opinion,[/QUOTE] This. Furthermore,
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;27362895] You shouldn't [b]of[/b] done that. Yes, I've read the OP, and that was a funny story.[/QUOTE] Learn to english good. Also,
whats busing
Ummmmmmmmm
I would think that would hurt the head of your dick...a lot.
[QUOTE=Caboose17;27363187]I would think that would hurt the head of your dick...a lot.[/QUOTE] it's not like the throat is made of razors, it felt amazing, I would imagine it would hurt for her a lot, but she was fine after.
Gotta admit, its funny.
strep? the fuck is that?
[QUOTE=HendoV2;27363375]strep? the fuck is that?[/QUOTE] How do you not know what strep throat is?
who the fuck buys twelve shotguns
[QUOTE=HendoV2;27363375]strep? the fuck is that?[/QUOTE] [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streptococcal_pharyngitis[/url] except the picture is like the worst case of it ever it's basically like a really shitty sore throat with a fever, and some white stuff in the back of your throat. doesn't look anything like the picture tbh
[QUOTE=HendoV2;27363375]strep? the fuck is that?[/QUOTE] This cute little fella: [img]http://sitemaker.umich.edu/mc13/files/streptococcus_20pneumoniae.jpg[/img]
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