• Stories you were told as a kid V1: "My Moma always said life was a box of Chocolates!"
    29 replies, posted
Okay post your, weird, funny, or even creepy stories you were told as a kid either from your grandmother, grandfather, or Dad and Mom. To start off, my Dad told me a story of when he was flying a model rocket of Discovery the shuttle thingy, and on the same day He crashed the model Rocket of Discovery in the park because of the way he built it and because of an engine failure, and on the same day when he got home, on the news, it said the discovery shuttle had crashed landed and killed all the crew members inside, and my dad says to himself, "Oh, did I do that?" .
My dad did a puppet show with a dead rabbit
My mom said that when it's thundering, God is bowling. When lighning hits, he made a strike. I kinda like that, actually. Too bad I don't believe in God. :v:
that tampons were for nosebleeds
One time during his late teens, my father went camping with a friend of his. He was trying to start a fire and it kept dying out. It then started to rain and the person in another camps ground noticed and starting laughing his ass off and my father being deaf hadn't noticed until the person walked up to him and told him he's not going to be able to start the fire and had told him that he was there for about 3 or so minutes just laughing. My father got pretty pissed at this, so he walked over to his friends truck, pulled out a liter of gasoline and poured it onto the fire, struck a match and dropped it and this massive fireball went up into the air while he walked away, flipped off the guy, and went into his tent to talk to his friend next to a warm fireball while the guy just had his mouth on the floor. I asked his friend the same thing and he said he told me the same story which made it all the more bizarre. Still, it makes me laugh everytime he tells it.
Here's a questionably true story I hear at every family gathering: My great-grandfather was drinking in a bar when some guy insulted his mother. He punched him, the guy went down, and a guy runs over and says "you killed him!" So my great-grandfather bought a train ticket and went out west because he thought he murdered the guy. A few months later, he receives word that the guy wasn't actually dead. He rides back to town, and he arrives at the train station. He sees the guy standing there in the crowd at the station (just coincidence, as the story goes), walks up, and punches him again.
keep your shoelaces tied tight on escalators otherwise I'll end up like that one boy who was pulled in between two steps and grinded to pieces thanks grandma
If you don't eat all of your dinner, Dr. Needles comes in and injects the food into your stomach. Fantastic.
My uncle always used to tell me that somewhere out there, a mad German doctor without a head would "tickle" me with a chainsaw if I got out of bed at night.
[QUOTE=bIgFaTwOrM12;40334875]My uncle always used to tell me that somewhere out there, a mad German doctor without a head would "tickle" me with a chainsaw if I got out of bed at night.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/thumb/f/fc/FvN_krankensage_screen.png/250px-FvN_krankensage_screen.png[/IMG]
[QUOTE=bIgFaTwOrM12;40334875]My uncle always used to tell me that somewhere out there, a mad German doctor without a head would "tickle" me with a chainsaw if I got out of bed at night.[/QUOTE] I hope he actually went "tickle" in air quotes.
my parents told me this guy named satan claws would break into our house on jesus' birthday and watch me sleep
That if i swallowed chewing gum, my ass cheeks would get stuck together and i would die.
[QUOTE=Unisath;40334704]keep your shoelaces tied tight on escalators otherwise I'll end up like that one boy who was pulled in between two steps and grinded to pieces thanks grandma[/QUOTE] Are you me? I was told the same thing at Marcon by my grandma when I was 3. Returning 12 years later, I have no problem with them now. Except for down escalators, those disorient me for some reason.
I was told if I play with it, it will fall off.
"If you step on a crack, you will break your mama's back." Me and my brother proceeded to test this.
I was told that if I don't eat my veggies, they'll eat me when I'm sleeping :v:
Easter Bunny is afraid of children and will escape if it sees me awake. Santa doesn't deliver presents to kids who are awake either.
I always heard that cats steal babies breath if you leave a baby unattended and a cat is nearby.
(Don't remember if this was how it went but pretty sure.) My granddad died in 1987 and my dad told me a story that he once kicked a lonely German Nazi officer down a staircase.(In fear for being arrested or killed.) I didn't believe my dad but granddad actually took a souvenir, an 1939 Iron Cross, which my dad keeps in a screen up in his bedroom. [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e2/Ek18f.jpg[/img] My other grandfather was arrested around 1941 and all his equipment was taken away and he served 1 year at "Grini" and I can't remember if he was released or he escaped because he told it like 5 - 7 years ago. Also my granduncle fled a German prison in a rowboat with other inmates one night over to England from Germany. The three stories that really caught me (because I'm very interested in the 2nd war to this day.)
My gran would always tell me that she would sell me to pirates if I didn't eat her gross Irish food. More of an actual threat than a crazy story, but still
that my grandfather was captured in a prison during his young years, and nearly tortured to death. if true, such a tragic thing, amazing how he isn't affected by it today.
The family story goes that in poland, the growing season isn't very long, so tomatoes don't get a chance to ripen, and people there eat them green. When one of my more noteworthy ancestors immigrated to america via the ocean, he got thrown in the ship's brig for fighting with the crew. They fed him a red tomato, and because he'd never seen one ripe before he thought they were trying to poison him. No idea if the story is true or not. There is also family legend of a distant relative who was beheaded by the propeller of an airboat.
my great-grandfather killed a russian paratrooper in finland. it happened inside his house where the russian shot him once in a non-vital area, then he emptied his revolver on the russian. the russian ran outside in shock, fell outside the door and died. it's a true story, my grandfather saw the russian guy fall on the ground while playing outside.
I had an uncle who used to travel alot, so when i was a kid he used to make this joke about how his car could fly. needless to say i belived it.
My mom told me that if I didn't put my seatbelt on I would go flying through the window as soon as the car started
My mom told me that if my legs are exposed out of the blanket when I sleep, a mad chainsaw man when rip them off of me.
When I went to my grandma's house she warned us of the "Side Hill Clinchers" that come out after dark. If you werent inside before 8 o' clock they would hunt you down. To this day I am scared of the Side Hill Clinchers even though the dont exist.
My grandma used to scare the crap out of me with stories. (I loved her stories when I was little because of that. She didn't give me any of that kid nonsense.) She's a full blooded Alaska native and had quite a few stories she remembered from grandmas n' stuff before her. She used to tell me about a creature called a [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kushtaka]Kushtaka[/url] that lured people into the old growth forests only to get lost, toyed with and eventually killed or force you to become one yourself. She described them as vaguely human shaped otters, however you'd probably never see them like that as they are traditionally shape-shifters. You'd often be lured away alone by a familiar noise like a baby crying, a whining dog, familiar voice, ect. Something that would make you feel the need to wander into the woods basically. She also told me if they do kill someone they use their bodies to take their friends. She told me they will often (if not indefinitely) avoid eye contact if their using another persons body as their own and did not possess the ability to change their sharp teeth so they would not speak unless spoken to to try and hide them. I'm still scared of the woods man. Even in groups, to this day there's always that voice in the back of my head that says "Man, this guys actin' a little funky".
That I would get skin cancer if I scratched or picked a mole on my skin.
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