I'll keep it simple, my family has always had issues and I have kept it bottled up, my girl and I have been together for a year now, so I opened up to her, she doesn't understand why I'm so upset because she's comparing out lives and not just thinking of how this would affect me, how do I tell her this, and get her to understand.
From what I'm getting out of this, it sounds like she wants to, in a way, show you that she can understand too, by trying to establish empathy ("I've gone through the same thing too, and worse"). Also, sounds like she might have had a really tough life, and is a bit insulted that you think yours is comparable, even if you're not comparing. Try just being open and saying, "I know that you've had a horribly tough life, and since our situations can't be compared because they're so different, I don't think there's any point to trying." Then just explain how your heart feels. She should let down her guard and be more open, realizing the importance of how you feel.
Tell her that she hasn't experienced the same thing as you... but that's okay, she can still help you even if she hasn't experienced what you have.
Me and my fiancee have had this problem both ways. I grew up with a post-traumatic stress disorder from almost dying in the ER 35 times when I was 5 years old, thinking I was about to die each time and she grew up in a third world country with a broken family in a violent situation where she ended up raising her baby brother. While those are both horrible things to go through, we've understood that comparing them is useless because it's very "apples to oranges."
Holy shit.
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