• Gay Couple Accepts Responsibility For Every Major Disaster of the Last 50 Years
    33 replies, posted
[quote]Following the destruction caused by Hurricane Sandy, a homosexual couple in Suffolk have stepped forward to take responsibility for the event and countless others before it. Chris Green, 43, approached the media after US preacher John McTernan suggested that the hurricane was a direct result of acceptance of gay marriage and confirmed that it was in fact correct that the actions of himself and his partner, Phil Stevens, were to blame. “There was no use pretending any more. Phil and I making love has been the cause of every major disaster of recent years. Hurricane Sandy, Katrina, the Boxing Day tsunami, the Paris Hilton movie The Hottie and the Nottie. Those were all our fault. We don’t know how it happens, but, as always, those radical evangelists were right on the money.” When asked to comment, McTernan was found to be confused and irritable: “I wasn’t even believing my own bullshit at this stage. Hell, it goes down great with the rednecks, but I never thought I was right.” In relation to claims that McTernan linked Hurricane Isaac earlier this year to simultaneous LGBT proceedings in New Orleans, the preacher said: “Look, man, I’m just clutching at straws. I had to blame someone, I’m way out of my league here. I can’t accuse illiterate trailer trash with 18 kids on benefits, that’s my fanbase.” Mr Green and Mr Stevens have been together 20 years, and regret all the harm they have caused in that time: “We’re both very sorry we neglected to tell anyone for so long. We know it’s very selfish,” said Green. “The first time we kissed in the street a dog got hit by a car. The first time I gave Phil a handjob, back in 1994, it kick-started a civil war in Yemen. Everything started in Libya that weekend we spent at a hotel in Tenerife. It’s a hassle, but we’ve just got to live with it.” Mr Green reckons that he and his partner should even take responsibility for every tragedy since the 1960’s, because “why not, homosexuality probably caused those too.” [b]By this reasoning, a propensity for anal sex was the cause of the Vietnam War, the assassination of Martin Luther King, and Vanilla Ice.[/b][/quote] [url=http://www.wessexscene.co.uk/pause/2012/11/06/gay-couple-accepts-responsibility-for-every-major-disaster-of-the-last-50-years/]SOURCE[/url]
its all true :'(
Wow, just... wow
Finally they admit it
wait where do bisexuals fit into all this
[quote] By this reasoning, a propensity for anal sex was the cause of the Vietnam War, the assassination of Martin Luther King, and Vanilla Ice.[/quote] Those guys need to pay for Vanilla Ice!
[QUOTE=wewt!;38369063]wait where do bisexuals fit into all this[/QUOTE] they just cause thunderstorms
[QUOTE=wewt!;38369063]wait where do bisexuals fit into all this[/QUOTE] We cause sort of bad things that have an upside, like when your car won't start on a day you didn't want to go to work anyway.
For a second I thought this was an Onion article.
[QUOTE=Sparkwire;38369068]they just cause thunderstorms[/QUOTE] and consequently rainbows
radicals actually do blame natural disasters on gays i have a very very very heavy mormon in my debate class who has insane beliefs, he thinks that pampei happened to get rid of gay people. he's fairly fucked up in the head
[QUOTE=The First 11'er;38369217]radicals actually do blame natural disasters on gays i have a very very very heavy mormon in my debate class who has insane beliefs, he thinks that pampei happened to get rid of gay people. he's fairly fucked up in the head[/QUOTE] Yeah that's why, obviously. Totally not related to building a city next to a huge volcano.
thanks guys we were sick of taking all the blame
[QUOTE=Mr. Someguy;38369243]Yeah that's why, obviously. Totally not related to building a city next to a huge volcano.[/QUOTE] Furious gay sex made that volcano to erupt.
[QUOTE=Combine 177;38369307]Furious gay sex made that volcano to erupt.[/QUOTE] shouldn't have let the balls touch
Well good thing we have that figured out.
Loving that preacher's reaction.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;38369456]wow wow, getting mlk shot and the vietnam war ok, but fucking vanilla ice? fucking death sentence[/QUOTE] read that as milk shot and imagined people drinking shots of milk at a bar
The preacher back-peddeling was funny as hell.
[QUOTE=Combine 177;38369307]Furious gay sex made that volcano to erupt.[/QUOTE] We should all go to Yellowstone and hold the world hostage. They'll have to give in to our demands or we'll blow up North America and cast darkness upon South America, Africa, and Eurasia.
[QUOTE=fulgrim;38369568]The preacher back-peddeling was funny as hell.[/QUOTE] It's also something I didn't think I'd ever see. The reaction I'd expect from somebody like that is either: downplay it, ignore it and keep ranting, shut up entirely or make some half-ass apology. To actually say "I was talking complete bullshit and I knew it. Basically I just pander to rednecks", is... um... unexpected.
[QUOTE=fulgrim;38369568]The preacher back-peddeling was funny as hell.[/QUOTE] I have a slight feeling that wasn't an actual quote... unless he really does want to alienate his entire following.
In other news: [b]Plans For Savile’s ‘Nazi Moon Base’ Finally Released By BBC[/b] [quote]Shocking footage formerly shelved by Newsnight Editor Peter Rippon shows Sir Jimmy Savile in open discussion with Voldemort, Adolf Hitler and the Megatron over blueprints for Savile’s most recently exposed licence payer funded atrocity.[/quote] [url=http://www.wessexscene.co.uk/pause/2012/10/26/plans-for-saviles-nazi-moon-base-finally-released-by-bbc-2/]SAME SOURCE[/url] [sp]if any of you SERIOUSLY couldn't tell, these are both from the comedy section of that site[/sp]
I'm not a shit poster guys, can't you understand it was the gays, the gays made me do it all!
[img]http://img.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/hurricane-sandy-projected-path__oPt.jpg[/img] [editline]8th November 2012[/editline] Gayicane [thumb]http://media.salon.com/2012/10/rainbow_hurricane_rect-460x307.jpg[/thumb] and finally [url=http://www.indecisionforever.com/blog/2012/08/28/hurricane-isaac-throbbing-gay-penis-or-obama-conspiracy]Hurricane Isaac: Throbbing Gay Penis or Obama Conspiracy?[/url] [QUOTE=carcarcargo;38369918]I'm not a shit poster guys, can't you understand it was the gays, the gays made me do it all![/QUOTE] it's ok that you murdered and raped your entire family and cannibalized your town, gays made you do it, we understand, Jesus loves you. they were probably sinners anyways so you did all the work for god! Now he doesn't have to burn that town in volcanic death! Its for the greater good!
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYDkGJmSfy0[/media]
This sounds like a radio broadcast in a Rockstar game or something
[QUOTE=Combine 177;38369307]Furious gay sex made that volcano to erupt.[/QUOTE] They both erupted at the same time!
[QUOTE=Ray-The-Sun;38370316]They both erupted at the same time![/QUOTE] [i]Steamy hot thick lava flowing over subtle curves.[/i]
[quote]By this reasoning, a propensity for anal sex was the cause of the Vietnam War, the assassination of Martin Luther King, and Vanilla Ice.[/quote] But if there was more anal sex Vanilla Ice would have never been born in the first place
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