• ' Stoner Stories '
    35 replies, posted
Post all those funny stories about times when you got high and what happened ..E.T.C) I guess I'll start, Well I went inside a gate station, And immidiently just grabbed a ton of chips and shit, And for some reason, I didn't want the clerk to know I was high, so I tried acting normal, but instead I was just staring at the candy and going " Uh.. Yes maam this is the food. " . She looked at me strange after I payed her so I was like " Oh no.. She caught me " And ran outside the store then just stopped and walked back to ther car. After that it was just a bunch of eating chips and stuff I can't remember. EDIT: Sorry if there's already a thread like this man, I saw older one's and didn't want to rev such old threads.
i went into whataburger on shrooms and it was a very absurd situation. [editline]2nd January 2012[/editline] all of the black people who worked there kept staring at us.
I was on dxm and college and it took me about 15 minutes to switch chairs in the common room :v:
Smoking joint in a car, stopped at a red light. Cop pulls up beside us, looks at us. Car is hazy, and we start sketching rather hard. We drive for a bit and turn to escape the cop, and out of a mix of sketching hard and not really knowing the area well, turns out we entered a bus loop. So we find out way out of the bus loop and turn into another road, only to end up in another damn bus loop. As we escape the grasp of the dreaded loop, another cop drives by, so we pull into the parking lot and run out of the car. Then we got Quiznos. And life was good.
Me and my friend (Lets call him A) decided to smoke a bowl and have another friend over (he will be G). Afterwards, we were to head over to Panda Express for some food. So once me and A are good and blazed, G gets to the house and we start driving to Panda (G ripping the bowl on the way there). When we get there, we are all fully blazed and we start trying to act natural. When we get in line, we start talking to each other, and are laughing way to much. Once were silent, G slowly starts dancing a lil' to music in his head, (completely unaware of it). A goes up and whispers, "G, there's no music". Then G just stops and gets a shocked look on his face and gasps. At this point, there was no fighting the laughing and I'm sure EVERYONE in the building knew we were high as fuck. So we get up to order our food and an Asian friend of ours is there. She says "You guys look really "happy". Somehow, the topic of Chopsticks came up. Our Asian friend admits she doesn't know how to use chopsticks, and G says "You're an Asian that works in Panda Express, and you don't know how to use chopsticks?!" We all just start laughing our fucking asses off. Then we finally got our food and went home. It was a good day.
I went this place this one time, and then I got high there.
[QUOTE=Mister_Jack;34010217]I went this place this one time, and then I got high there.[/QUOTE] I also did this but then I ate some food as well.
[QUOTE=Stormcharger;34010260]I also did this but then I ate some food as well.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I did that once.
[b]REPOSTING[/b] i had bought some hash for a mate, and he wanted to smoke me out. i accepted the offer. totally didn't think about how I had no tolerance any more, so i ended up getting proper wasted. i then gathered two of my mates, and we decided to go to a local supermarket to get some munchies. we took a short-cut through this shitty neighbourhood filled with bums. stupid fucking idea. we bump into this old lady, who is almost crying, as she asks if we can help her husband. now my first thought was that it was just some old poor guy who had fallen down the stairs or whatever, so we all said that of course we would help her. she started walking, telling us about how she can't lift him, cause she has back problems. she leads us into this little garden, and there is laying an old guy in a wheelbarrow. now i'm like what the fuck is going on? and then it hits me. they're both drunks. i just felt like running away. i simply could not take all that shit. anyways, instead of running away, i go over to the old guy, and help him out of the wheelbarrow. now he says that he can't stand, and falls straight to the ground again. now my mate, emil, is by my side, and we both help him up. i realize that he must have broken his leg, cause he keeps telling us how bad it hurts. now i'm starting to freak out. the old lady runs to my other friend, she is named olivia, and says that she has fixed a cab, and then she starts going back where we met her. E and i are standing on each our side of the old man, and are helping him walk. olivia is standing beside me. she is looking very scared, and i start to feel really bad for her. emil seems to be okay. after we had walked for a few minutes, the woman starts to run. i still don't know why. any ways, she as she is running around the corner of a garden she trips, and smashes her face directly into the pavement. she is just laying there, without moving. i start to freak. emil is still cool as fuck, and the husband doesn't even notice it. olivia goes over to the old lady, and asks if she is okay. the old lady quickly gets up, and blood starts to run down her face. her lip was busted, and so was her nose. she is just like "yeah sure, of course i’m all right. what is the damn problem?" none of us told her that her faced looked like a mutilated vagina, cause we didn't know how she would react. she starts to walk towards the cab again. emil is still cool, but olivia is almost in tears. I felt like just letting go of the old drunk, and hug her. all of a sudden, a wild taxi appears. the cab driver can't speak a word of danish, so he freaked the fuck out. we got the old man into the cab, and i grabbed olivia by her hand, then told her that she had to relax a bit. I whipped out my phone, and called for an ambulance, but the lady in the phone just kept asking the same questions over and over again, even tough i had answered them all like three times. I then yelled that she should just send a ambulance, and then i hung up. now the old lady hos gotten into the cab, and tries to get the driver to turn on the cab, but he refuses. he tries to tell her that there is an ambulance coming, but she doesn't really give a shit. after about five minutes two ambulances comes, and we get the fuck out of there. we are all very confused, and feeling weird. we have a cigarette, while we talk about what had just happened. we then went to the supermarket, as we originally planned. the colours in there was amazing. for some reason it reminded me of Christmas, and i could almost feel the snow falling from the sky. we were really quiet in there, cause we didn't want to attract attention (stoner logic). emil got some chips, and we got out of there. we then went to olivia's place. i was shaking like crazy, course it was so damn cold, so i was thrilled to get to there. i went into her sisters room, where johanne, helena and elisabeth was. i know them all very good, and was really happy that they were there. i laid down on a bed with johanne and elisabeth and just chilled for a little while. i started to get visuals when i closed my eyes. it was like small fractals that kept changing colour and shape. after about an hour, i snapped out of it, and made helena make me a sandwich. then we just chilled for the rest of the night. i know this is very poorly written, but i don't give a shit.
This is a good thread.
My friends called me up and told me to get 10 bucks. I got 10 in change and I called them again telling them to pick me up, so they do, I go get the change counted and we have 20 all together, So we go to my friends cousins house. They didn't have any weed, so they brought us to a random trailer out in the middle of nowhere, took our money walked in and out with a bag of weed, So we roll 2 Pinars and 3 Bombers with it, we smoke most of them and go back to their cousins house. Witch we walk into the house to get our other friend and smoke more, Well the old man on the chair follows us into the room, and my buddy turns around and asks "What the hell are you doing here?" And he just says "I wanna get high too..". It may sound weird, But I think I'm too high for this lol.
Went into a small market to buy something to drink with my little brother. I was really fucking blitzed, but we got our drinks and went to the register to pay. As I step up to the counter and place my drink down I notice a cop standing next to me, just casually chatting with the cashier. As I open my wallet to pay, I fumble with my money a little, taking out about five one dollar bills. The cop looks at me and the wallet and says "Look at this kid, he's loaded!", to which I reply "Oh yeah, eleven dollars, I'm stackin' 'em." The cop looked quite taken aback and the cashier was trying to hide laughter as she handed me my change. As I turn to walk away he finally fires back "Well eleven dollars is more than most people have, walking out on the street." I rolled my eyes and left. Once I got outside I was like "What the hell did I just say?" and my brother told me "you said 'I'm stackin' 'em..." we both laughed pretty hard. Stupid cops.
This one time I got really high and ate a lot of food.
Me and my friend were once on 3rd plateau DXM and my mom told us to shovel the driveway and I have to say it was the best fucking feeling in the whole god damn world, we couldn't stop talking about how great shoveling snow was.
[QUOTE=Mr. Kitty;34016853]Went into a small market to buy something to drink with my little brother. I was really fucking blitzed, but we got our drinks and went to the register to pay. As I step up to the counter and place my drink down I notice a cop standing next to me, just casually chatting with the cashier. As I open my wallet to pay, I fumble with my money a little, taking out about five one dollar bills. The cop looks at me and the wallet and says "Look at this kid, he's loaded!", to which I reply "Oh yeah, eleven dollars, I'm stackin' 'em." The cop looked quite taken aback and the cashier was trying to hide laughter as she handed me my change. As I turn to walk away he finally fires back "Well eleven dollars is more than most people have, walking out on the street." I rolled my eyes and left. Once I got outside I was like "What the hell did I just say?" and my brother told me "you said 'I'm stackin' 'em..." we both laughed pretty hard. Stupid cops.[/QUOTE] i don't get this
Me and a friend used to leave school at lunch to light up, we came back in to business studies and he was stoned as hell lol. So we were meant to print like 10 of these questionnaire things, and my mate forgot how to print - so I go up to him and hit ctrl+p for him and told him to just change the number to 10. I guess he added a few too many zeros and shitloads started printing out, teacher went nuts and sent him to detention, and he's just sitting there like what the hell's going on and I'm in pieces laughing - Priceless times :) Also more of a "had to be there" thing, but you can probably imagine :') Oh and the time I went to go meet my dealer and when I see him he's just slapping some guy around like he's his little bitch or something, hilarious - never seen the guy that mad, something to do with the other guy getting mugged of the weed and not paid lol. Man so many memories, can't think of em all right now.
[QUOTE=Stormcharger;34010260]I also did this but then I ate some food as well.[/QUOTE] Me too, we also got beverages.
This one time.. Me and my friends were walking to their house from mine, after smoking 5 bowls of some Train Wreck, half way there, me and 2 of my friends stop and smell some weed by us, We just keep walking, And my other friend way behind us walks by looks to his left and sees a bald guy toking off a joint, the bald guy turned and hid the joint, and walked away, and my friend ran up to us telling us there was some guy hitting a joint. We now walk by his house daily and admire the smell of his house.
One time I decided to smoke a bowl, so I got out my Altoids tin concealing my weed and when I pulled out my bong there was half a bowl already in there. I realized that it was probably forgotten last night when I smoked a couple of bowls. I grabbed my lighter and I started out to the boiler room. There is a vent in the boiler room which makes it the ideal room to smoke in. I flicked my lighter I started taking my hit the bong instantly filled with smoke. It was a strong hit, I wonder now how it didn't make me cough I took another hit it wasn't nearly as strong and didn't taste so good. it was probably a seed I failed to take out. I left the boiler room and entered my room. It had dark purple walls with black paint splatters with tons of drawings on the walls as well as a few posters, my Gwarriors flag me and my friends take when we go to see Gwar, a band of space aliens who play Heavy Metal and throw blood and guts at the crowd. I even got the lead singer of the bands signature on the flag. I Put my bong away and hid my weed tin and sat down near my shelf were I keep all my lighters. As I got comfortable I came across and unopened package of coffee flavored cough drops. I pulled the tab on the package that tears the paper at the top revealing the cough drops I pulled the first one out and as I touched the cough drop with my other hand to open its individual wrapping it fell from my hand and landed somewhere near my dresser with my TV on it. I looked around for a bit but couldn't find it. I decided to forget about it and just get another one from the package, as I pulled out another cough drop I had a realization. I didn't want the cough drop I had in my hand, I wanted the one I dropped. It felt as if were destiny for me to eat the cough drop I had dropped. I moved the clutter off my floor and pushed in my draws revealing to me the cough drop from earlier I picked it up and removed the paper. I smiled and put the cough drop into my mouth... ... It tasted like shit so spit it into my garbage. [editline]3rd January 2012[/editline] This takes way longer to read than the time in which it actually took place.
man reading this thread makes me miss all the old days where i would do stupid shit when high with my buddies.. oh wait im 15 [B]I CAN STILL DO THIS SHIT AHAHAHAHAHA[/B]
[QUOTE=RomanTheOmen;34026157]One time I decided to smoke a bowl, so I got out my Altoids tin concealing my weed and when I pulled out my bong there was half a bowl already in there. I realized that it was probably forgotten last night when I smoked a couple of bowls. I grabbed my lighter and I started out to the boiler room. There is a vent in the boiler room which makes it the ideal room to smoke in. I flicked my lighter I started taking my hit the bong instantly filled with smoke. It was a strong hit, I wonder now how it didn't make me cough I took another hit it wasn't nearly as strong and didn't taste so good. it was probably a seed I failed to take out. I left the boiler room and entered my room. It had dark purple walls with black paint splatters with tons of drawings on the walls as well as a few posters, my Gwarriors flag me and my friends take when we go to see Gwar, a band of space aliens who play Heavy Metal and throw blood and guts at the crowd. I even got the lead singer of the bands signature on the flag. I Put my bong away and hid my weed tin and sat down near my shelf were I keep all my lighters. As I got comfortable I came across and unopened package of coffee flavored cough drops. I pulled the tab on the package that tears the paper at the top revealing the cough drops I pulled the first one out and as I touched the cough drop with my other hand to open its individual wrapping it fell from my hand and landed somewhere near my dresser with my TV on it. I looked around for a bit but couldn't find it. I decided to forget about it and just get another one from the package, as I pulled out another cough drop I had a realization. I didn't want the cough drop I had in my hand, I wanted the one I dropped. It felt as if were destiny for me to eat the cough drop I had dropped. I moved the clutter off my floor and pushed in my draws revealing to me the cough drop from earlier I picked it up and removed the paper. I smiled and put the cough drop into my mouth... ... It tasted like shit so spit it into my garbage. [editline]3rd January 2012[/editline] This takes way longer to read than the time in which it actually took place.[/QUOTE] Oh man If I saw GWAR stoned... That would be the best night of my life.
One time me and my friends from Vancouver were smoking up some bowls under some overpass, and we ate all our chips so we went for a walk to this guys house to chill there and get more food, but on the way I could see this one guys shadow behind me following me wherever I went, and I was too scared to look back to see who it was because I didn't want them to know if I was high and if they were following me for that reason. We eventually reached his house and I whispered in my other friends ear "yo this dude is following us", and we both turned around and it was Lawson my friend who came along at the time, but I forgot he was there. Scared the shit out of me, but I almost pissed myself after I found out it was him.
[QUOTE=FFStudios;34023959]i don't get this[/QUOTE] What do you not understand?
[QUOTE=Mr. Kitty;34030061]What do you not understand?[/QUOTE] what is so clever about "i'm stackin 'em" it just doesn't sound like a very notable story, a cop says you're loaded, you reply with i'm stackin em, i don't see why that's funny or why the cop was taken aback
Your fucking avatar makes your entire misunderstanding hilarious. "Wots so funny about lodsemone?" Let the man wop his wad. Or is it wallet?
One time I got high then I played video games and at food. :frown:
I drank two mad dogs and smoked a bowl + a joint and was browning out like a motherfucker then i started hitting on my friends younger sister and his cousin
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[QUOTE=FFStudios;34030272]what is so clever about "i'm stackin 'em" it just doesn't sound like a very notable story, a cop says you're loaded, you reply with i'm stackin em, i don't see why that's funny or why the cop was taken aback[/QUOTE] Yeah.... I don't think you're really stickin' it to the cops, man.
[QUOTE=FFStudios;34030272]what is so clever about "i'm stackin 'em" it just doesn't sound like a very notable story, a cop says you're loaded, you reply with i'm stackin em, i don't see why that's funny or why the cop was taken aback[/QUOTE] He was taken aback because I said it with a very sarcastic tone. Also, I'm white as fresh snow, so "I'm stackin em" sounds silly coming from me. I was just high, man. That's what made it funny to me. [editline]3rd January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Mister_Jack;34035462]Yeah.... I don't think you're really stickin' it to the cops, man.[/QUOTE] Wasn't trying to stick it to anyone, I was just baked, bro.
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