So I got an idea from Five Nights at Freddy's and expanded on it. Expanded 16,000 words on it, actually. The idea is to create a story with a real message about life stemming from the gameplay, plot, and (most importantly) plot holes of the game. I've got it hosted on FanFiction.net, which is kind of unfortunate since the site enforces some god awful formatting. Better than weighing down Facepunch's bandwidth with a shit ton of words, though.
Here it is! [URL=https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10657557/1/I-Met-A-Bear-Today]I Met A Bear Today[/URL]
What does MILFer mean?
[editline]16th September 2014[/editline]
MILFier
why
this shouldn't exist
It isn't horrible or terrible by any means. I've read far, far worse things on fanfiction.net. Keep on writing. man.
I haven't actually read it but one of the problems is that you are just rolling dialog into the paragraphs which makes it not that great to read. You're not going to lose anything if you properly format your dialog. Also from what I skimmed over, you are sort of shoehorning in swear words wherever you can.
[QUOTE=Cabbage;45992510]why[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Sambooo]this shouldn't exist[/QUOTE]
Exactly! The game itself has almost zero plot, just a few bits of flavor text and that's it. Gives you a lot of wiggle room in a story. It's also meant to be a fanfic that's actually good on its own, which seems pretty rare in the fanfic community. Read through the 5N@F section on FF.net sometime if you want to see what my, uh, [i]stiff competition[/i] is.
[QUOTE=The freeman]I haven't actually read it but one of the problems is that you are just rolling dialog into the paragraphs which makes it not that great to read. You're not going to lose anything if you properly format your dialog. Also from what I skimmed over, you are sort of shoehorning in swear words wherever you can.[/QUOTE]
This is what I made this thread for! I need objective people to just point shit out like this. That's what the reviews section on the site is for, but [URL=https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10657557/]as you can see here[/URL] I'm not getting a lot of valuable criticism. The support is really nice, though.
Current list of things to revise:
1. Proper formatting
2. Cut down on the mommy language
I'm gonna finish the final chapter this week, then go back and polish the hell out of the whole thing.
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