• The crazyst thing you have ever done to get out of sex?
    26 replies, posted
Well the title says it all folks, here we will discuss how we avoided sex. Hell I will start Well, once upon a time at a party for my friend. I was sitting and drinking, when a rather, uh, overweight girl came and sat down next to me on the couch. Now, I was rather drunk and what not so I saw her as a slightly overweight blonde who was coming to love on me. She sat and we began to chat, as this was going on I was starting to look at her more closely and I begin to realize that she is a heavy eater. As I was trying to realize what was going on I was grabbed and dragged by the arm to a vacant bed room. She turned on the lights and I went, well shit. I went for the first excuse and said I don't have any condoms. She said "that's okay, I have some" and she threw one at me. Now my system was full panic and I just did the most logical thing my drunken brain could do and I began to put the condom [I]On my fucking tongue[/I]. She asked what on earth I was doing and I said "I don't want any mouth STDs, do you have any more? My nose could use one as well". She left, very fast Long story short. I stuck a condom in my mouth.
facepunch isn't exactly the best place to ask this question.
i was just myself all my life and i thoroughly avoided all possible sex within a 20000km radius. [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] still works, never abandoning this tactic
I don't avoid sex... it avoids me. :( [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] On a serious note though I don't really need to try to avoid it. I can't feel sexual attraction for anybody that I don't feel emotional romance for. I would say it's romantic asexuality, but asexuality implies no sexual attraction at all.
[QUOTE=cdlink14;37866802]I don't avoid sex... it avoids me. :( [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] On a serious note though I don't really need to try to avoid it. I can't feel sexual attraction for anybody that I don't feel emotional romance for. I would say it's romantic asexuality, but asexuality implies no sexual attraction at all.[/QUOTE] [url]http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual[/url] theres a word for it.
[QUOTE=XD!;37866879][url]http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual[/url] theres a word for it.[/QUOTE] Thanks man, I've been pondering on it for a while but never really knew how to define it in a way google would understand.
Said I have a headache.
I don't do anything Seems to have worked so far :v:
Pffft, people here would pay a prostitute and risk arrest just for a hug
"i need to go to the bathroom" 20 minutes later. "You wanna watch a Movie?" I regret that I said that.
I joined FP, worked out so far.
Nam flashbacks.
"Sorry, but I don't really think of you like that. It would feel like sleeping with a sister" [sp]A crazy sister who invites herself to shit and has the personality and intelligence of a bag of rocks[/sp]
Never came close to having sex, but life is about more then having sex.
Its about Kirby porn!
Threw up on her best friend
I'd say rather not have sex right now then I'd state my reason.
"I have AIDS"
[QUOTE=343N;37869774]Its about Kirby porn![/QUOTE] true!
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;37869730]Never came close to having sex, but life is about more then having sex.[/QUOTE] Than was boobies.
So we were three dudes at a club, got drunk and chatted up these girls. Most of them were pretty hot but one of them was overweight, so we tried to avoid her. After a couple of hours in the club drinking we went back to their house. The hot girls wanted us to leave and wanted to sleep, so were clearly uninterested but the overweight blonde was trying to pull one of us in her bedroom. She first drag one of my friends in the room and he told her he was gay. So she tried dragging me into her room, she threw me on her bed and threw herself on me saying some nasty phrases (oh god). I wasn't that drunk, so I just pretended to be completely wasted and to be almost sleeping. After about 10 minutes of trying to force me to do something she surrendered and as soon as she unlocked the room door I ran out of the house.
[QUOTE=KlaseR;37869863]I was dragged home from a club by an overweight blonde, while I was drunk. She threw me on her bed and threw herself on me saying some nasty phrases (oh god). I wasn't that drunk, so I just pretended to be completely wasted and to be almost sleeping. After about 10 minutes of trying to force me to do something she surrendered and as soon as she unlocked the room door I ran out of the house.[/QUOTE] Fuck you if I were in your place I'd hit that [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] am I desperate?
[QUOTE=DrLuckyLuke;37869882]Fuck you if I were in your place I'd hit that [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] am I desperate?[/QUOTE] i edited the post and wrote the whole story. eugh no, i couldn't even touch that thing. I mean, I've never been with a huge girl before I wouldn't even know where to put it, inbetween which layer of fat. And to be honest, I was quite drunk I wouldn't have been able to do much.
A disgusting girl recognized me at the bus stop and tried to initiate some kinda on the spot seduction shit, so I hopped on the first bus that came, even though it wasn't my bus. I just kinda sat on it until it had gone full circle and ended up late :suicide: [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] obligatory 'waved my facepunch membership in her face' comment
fuck it ive got enough of these to write a book during my 20 years on this planet these are all of the ones I can say ive honestly done >posted photos of her on /b/ they snapped me out of it, >was at a staff party from my radio station so everyone knows how to have fun, well my friend brought his BFF (best female friend) and nothing against her but she just wasnt this vietmanese girl who was just looking to get down and i just wanted to party so after she made it EXTREAMLY APPERNT she wanted the white-mans D I took 2 tabs of MDMA and told her to take all of the fucking leafs off her face. >she said she loved my shirt and said i should take it off, i was camping at the time so i threw it in the fire pit and said it was to cold and was going back to my tent with my room mates > "you never told me all of your friends were so attractive" - admittedly i felt like shit after that one but it works every fucking time > told her I hooked up with her sister. she then said she didnt mind, i then told her im only into strong BDSM and anal, "turned out her dad was expecting her home 30min ago" after that ---------------------- before i go on what is everyone problem with big girls, shit sons they put out like a fucking boss. just dont get the gross ones that cant wash themselves, that's when its gone to far ---------------------- > she was grabbing my leg and holding my hand, i proceeded to pack 3 bowls into my buddies bong and smoke myself to sleep > pretended to have an emotional breakdown and made everything so awkward, part of me wanted to see how well I could act at the time and another part wanted to see if i could get away with it, > kinda just sketched out, didnt know what to say since this girl was crazy and into everything, but the draw back was i was 19 and she was 16 and had the WORST FUCKING LAZY EYE KNOWN TO MANKIND. lesson is, if you dont want to have sex with someone >insult them >run away, > do enough drugs you get whisky dick, but as long as she has a pretty face and isnt 300 pound 8 story crustacean from the paleozoic era just go for it and see if your pleasantly surprised, thats been my exp. anyways
Was at this party and this girl who kinda looked like jesus was all oh hey your pretty, wanna come up stairs and i was all 'oh be right back' and went and consulted my buddy. He said hed help me but instead made thing much worse by saying loudly 'oh dude, is'nt that the girl you said you were gonna fuck tonight?'. what a tit. so she comes over and shes trying to kiss me for ages and im trying to weedle my way out of it with 'just got out of relationship' excuses and stuff and shes not buying it so i went of to get a drink and bumped into my friend who was leaving in this car so i was saved. On the way to the car she ambushed me and was all 'where are you going?' i said i was getting a jacket and she told me to come find her upstairs after. I promptly bailed on her and drove away with my friend into the night and smoked a fat one. That girl had a face like a slapped arse.
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