I thought this to myself for a long time now. Thing is I like being open. For the past few years I made a Facebook accont, Twitter account, posted a few pics of myself somewhere in in-active forums and I'm considering using a blog. Now this is a different type of open character of mine. What I'm gonna write about right now will probably sound stupid.
You see, most people don't talk about their private life at all. They don't even hint at anything, but it's pretty obvious that they've done things that we humans have done as well: something sexual, something embarassing, something bad and etc. We are all afraid to leave bad impressions and the "perfect timing" to talk about your private stuff is likely never. I mean relationships, body parts, some actions and etc. This starts to bother me why we are so mysterious and can't make really long conversations.
I understand that getting such information can be spread all over the town/network/whatever and be used against the person who revealed the information. I've met some people who talked about their private life without being nervous or doubting a lot. They just went with the flow and it felt like it was an ordinary stupid conversation. This concludes that most of us have some kind of private life insecurity and not revealing your "deep secrets" will probably save your life, you are going to die at any moment after all.
Also why should we classify talks of our lives as awkward/stupid? I.. I don't understand this. Today I was with my friends who is a boy and a girl and I said that I hoped there wouldn't be any porn in my laptop. The girl giggled and my friend hinted to me that I should always talk about the surrounding world. Well, that's boring to be honest because I usually end up in an a childish argument when talking about politics, economy, people and other matter in this universe.
So yeah, if you don't want to be open then your call. But talking about your life could get the conversation going for a loooooong time and develop stronger bonds between each other.
/rant
[quote]The girl giggled and my friend hinted to me that I should always talk about the surrounding world. Well, that's boring to be honest because I usually end up in an a childish argument when talking about politics, economy, people and other matter in this universe.[/quote]
the girl giggled b/c it's funny how you're aren't going to get laid ever
[editline]9th September 2011[/editline]
not b/c you refuse privacy
[QUOTE=Aurora93;32202157]the girl giggled b/c it's funny how you're aren't going to get laid ever
[editline]9th September 2011[/editline]
not b/c you refuse privacy[/QUOTE]
But we're not psychoanalyzing right now.
[QUOTE=birds;32202210]But we're not psychoanalyzing right now.[/QUOTE]
You have abandonment issues. Also, you covet your mom and envy your father's dick.
Is Freud good for anything other than bad jokes these days? I thought his brand of psychology has been partially phased out.
Privacy shouldn't exist.
You do actions based on the expected consequences. the more you know about the world, the less chances there are that the action'll backfire.
All we need to do is get our shit together about what is bad or good and how to treat what's wrong.
[QUOTE=MountainWatcher;32202333]Privacy shouldn't exist.
You do actions based on the expected consequences. the more you know about the world, the less chances there are that the action'll backfire.
All we need to do is get our shit together about what is bad or good and how to treat what's wrong.[/QUOTE]
A society like that will never ever happen.
OP likes attention.
Something really insignificant happens, you make a big deal out of it, you post thread. This craps getting old, don't make threads when you're bored.
[QUOTE=areyoublack;32202972]Something really insignificant happens, you make a big deal out of it, you post thread. This craps getting old, don't make threads when you're bored.[/QUOTE]
Interesting. You point fingers while you're probably also think of you wanting all the attention.
[editline]10th September 2011[/editline]
Oops, wrong person. I was writing to Croix.
Being too open is pretty boring and sometimes annoying, I don't want to know about a persons sexual life or any of his/her deep secrets.
The reason why you should just be somewhat open is so you can talk about things with people, but don't say everything to everyone.
Keep some secrets, add some mystery to your conversations.
Did I deduce that correctly: You really like talking about yourself and you don't get why that's bothering people?
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;32203262]Did I deduce that correctly: You really like talking about yourself and you don't get why that's bothering people?[/QUOTE]
I talked about this: people don't want to be open and revealing some parts of privacy is classified as a bad impression.
facebook and twitter is bullshit
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;32203262]Did I deduce that correctly: You really like talking about yourself and you don't get why that's bothering people?[/QUOTE]
Only talk to yourself when the other person does and you know they're fine with it
otherwise you look like an arrogant douche-bag whose way too into themselves
[editline]9th September 2011[/editline]
i hate talking about myself, I'm BORING, and I only care about whats presently in front of me.
[editline]9th September 2011[/editline]
i also like long walks on the beach, sk8ing, smoking w33d erry day 420 LOL and call of dooty
[QUOTE=birds;32203124]Interesting. You point fingers while you're probably also think of you wanting all the attention.
[editline]10th September 2011[/editline]
Oops, wrong person. I was writing to Croix.[/QUOTE]
Ofc I want attention but the funny fact is that I dont make shitty threads to get that attention.
Wow.
Boom.
Either way it's attention craving. I made a thread to discuss.
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Wants to be banned" - Jaanus))[/highlight]
I have my Facebook linked to my profile because privacy is evil and I love talking about myself.
Am I cool like OP yet guys?
[QUOTE=Grim Joker;32203751]I have my Facebook linked to my profile because privacy is evil and I love talking about myself.
Am I cool like OP yet guys?[/QUOTE]
no because your link is broken.
[QUOTE=trotskygrad;32203814]no because your link is broken.[/QUOTE]
What the fuck? You're right, it doesn't.
[editline]9th September 2011[/editline]
Oh god I don't exist
[editline]9th September 2011[/editline]
Guys help
he high
[QUOTE=birds;32203312]I talked about this: people don't want to be open and revealing some parts of privacy is classified as a bad impression.[/QUOTE]
It's pretty basic human psychology. To make it easier for me to write, replace every "we" with "most people and probably the people you're talking about".
We like a certain degree of individuality and we have multiple circles of trust. Those are the psychological pillar the phenomenon you discuss are based on. Let's break those two down:
The need for individuality is rooted within the self-protection mechanism that installs a minimum of selfishness that makes us not give up our lives easily, even if someone else (from our species or another) demands it. These people were better at surviving as individuals and that's why they survived evolution. Of course we also have a need to be accepted part of a group and share part of ourselves with others, but that's another topic.
We are a species of self-aware, sapient individuals. As such, we have a side of ourselves that we know about, and a side we either show others are others at least know of us. This place between what we believe to be and what we "really" are as judging by the reality that confirms our existence based on interaction is called "The Shadow" in Jungian psychology. And while The Shadow is a staple in the horror genre, it is also what confirms our individuality. This is why on a subconscious level we will always try to keep up The Shadow and put a gap between those two sides of personality.
Again, the sense for individuality stems from our self-protection mechanism that aims at preserving our own gene pool. If we lose our individuality, we lose our sense of self and with it our existence as we know it ceases. You could argue that's not so different from death.
Moving on to trust.
The balance of trust and mistrust is again a part from our self-protection mechanism. If animals can't win through advantages, they try to fake those advantages or at least hide their weaknesses. They take care of their appearance because they want to protect themselves from enemies and predators. If you're acting like a victim, you'll be treated like a victim. If you exert an aura of self-confidence, chances are you won't make yourself an attractive target for bullies. Most people learn that as soon as they get into school (or they don't).
Image and outside identity aren't everything however, there's more to us for we are group animals. We only trust people if we think we're safe from them. It's a gradual process and the more you trust a person, the more you'll tell them about your "inner self", because you don't fear the consequence of others recognizing your Shadow and weaknesses. It's not just safety from beatings, but in our situation mostly from laughter and social consequences as social gameplay is a vital component of whether we'll make it in our civilization or not. Relationships are everything, nobody can survive on their own.
Inverted, we mostly don't feel comfortable when others trust us too much as we feel like forced into a circle of trust and the other expecting you to be open yourself, when this is against your wishes. For some people we care more, for some people we care less. It's not the most heroic mindset, but we can only focus on so much. Even psychologists have to keep a certain barrier between their patients and their real friends.
It's like a stranger saying "I love you" out of the blue and you can't answer their feelings. Drastic example, but that's how small differences in trust levels work, too.
Individuality in personality and physical appearance and the balance of separation and sense of unity inside a group of people is the base of our diversity and evolutionary success. In other words, "genetics, bitch".
[b]TL;DR[/b]
We only trust a limited number of people (and in turn only expect so much trust from them) and we value a certain degree of individuality as it confirms our existence as we know it.
If this shit is too psychological for you, watch Neon Genesis Evangelion, watch the two movies that end the series, and pay close attention to the definition of AT-Field. It's only really discussed in-depth in the movies, but you need the series to even have a chance in hell to figure out what's going on.
ITT: Facepunch talks about the mysteries and wonders of social interaction and how to benefit from them.
And gets into a fight
[QUOTE=BigOwl;32206837]ITT: Facepunch talks about the mysteries and wonders of social interaction and how to benefit from them.
And gets into a fight[/QUOTE]
What's a Facepunch thread without a fight?
Dead.
I piss with the door open in the morning because I feel like it helps me be more open about things.
Does that count?
My body is open.
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