• Tit Monday
    127 replies, posted
Tit Monday - [h2]The first day of Summer that a lady decides it is warm enough to wear something skimpy. [/h2] Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Dart, or sitting on the Luas, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat. [img]http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/5573/braless2wq8.jpg[/img] [I]Fig.1 - tits.[/I] And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy.For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin. After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk. And you know it's nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday. [B]Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast.[/B] Of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year),so that when they're all standing outside your local after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples. So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps. [h2]A few points[/h2] * At the end of Tit Monday, the new-found glee that the population discovers with the weather is translated into a desire to do more with their time. After work, it is common that many people will, perhaps, go for some after-work drinks or possibly even hold an impromptu barbecue. However, as the first sign of warmth is only a mere indicator of weather to come, it doesn't last long. Indeed, come 7pm the bright day will have dropped a few degrees and a significant chill will catch all those partaking in the festivities. * It has been hypothesised (in the pub, over several pints obviously) that hot women are solar powered. You hardly see any till the sun comes and next thing you know you're thigh deep in babes. Something to look for when checking out those boobies ... are they in fact solar collectors? Shamelessly stolen from ARRSE. So tell me facepunch, any guesses on when Tit Monday will grace us this year? I'm feeling a good solid April date, nice and early. Any tales of prior Tit Mondays you'd care to share? As much as everyone would enjoy it lets try not to let this descend into random pictures of tits, as lovely as that is it doesnt really leave any room for discussion other than 'FUCK SAKE LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE!' etc If you have any questions, refer to Fig. 1.
It just passed in Australia :(
aka spring fever?
[QUOTE=Godzillarr;28650182]It just passed in Australia :([/QUOTE] Why am I not surprised? Probably the fact that your fours seasons are, "Fuck it's hot," "Goddamn it's pretty hot here," "Holy shit is this heat fucking unbearable," and "It's hot, but less hot now."
Yay? Tits, eww.
:quagmire:
[QUOTE=Ninja_Blue;28650246]Why am I not surprised? Probably the fact that your fours seasons are, "Fuck it's hot," "Goddamn it's pretty hot here," "Holy shit is this heat fucking unbearable," and "It's hot, but less hot now."[/QUOTE] More, Fuck it's hot, Fuck it's hot, OH JESUS WHY IS IT RAINING FUCK EVERYTHING IS UNDERWATER OH GOD, fuck it's hot.
[QUOTE=Daedulas;28650273]Yay? Tits, eww.[/QUOTE] you gay son
[QUOTE=Ninja_Blue;28650246]Why am I not surprised? Probably the fact that your fours seasons are, "Fuck it's hot," "Goddamn it's pretty hot here," "Holy shit is this heat fucking unbearable," and "It's hot, but less hot now."[/QUOTE] It goes from fucking hot, to hot and fucking wet
[QUOTE=Daedulas;28650273]Yay? Tits, eww.[/QUOTE] Go suck a dick.
[QUOTE=Ninja_Blue;28650246]Why am I not surprised? Probably the fact that your fours seasons are, "Fuck it's hot," "Goddamn it's pretty hot here," "Holy shit is this heat fucking unbearable," and "It's hot, but less hot now."[/QUOTE] youre pretty ignorant you must be an american
[QUOTE=Godzillarr;28650182]It just passed in Australia :([/QUOTE] This just in, Australia bans titties- Oh, wait, [B][URL="http://theweek.com/article/index/105766/australias-small-breast-ban"]they already did that.[/URL][/B] :v:
[QUOTE=Daedulas;28650273]Yay? Tits, eww.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://avatars.fpcontent.net/image.php?u=380048&dateline=1299673635[/IMG] wow what a shocker
Wow, way to not respect women.
That sounds exactly like something HIMYM's Barney Stinson would invent.
[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/sussex.birder/Pictures/Great-Tit-1.jpg[/img] :confused:
[QUOTE=jordguitar;28650666][img_thumb]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/sussex.birder/Pictures/Great-Tit-1.jpg[/img_thumb] :confused:[/QUOTE] Has this joke seriously not died yet
Wow, some people are pathetic. What's the use going out and look at tits if you know you won't be grabbing 99% of them anyways.
[QUOTE=saddasta;28650712]Wow, some people are pathetic. What's the use going out and look at tits if you know you won't be grabbing 99% of them anyways.[/QUOTE] Because looking at them beats not looking at them.
[QUOTE=Itachi_Crow;28650670]Has this joke seriously not died yet[/QUOTE] remember that time we spent the better part of 15 pages coming up with photo euphamisms [editline]17th March 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=saddasta;28650712]Wow, some people are pathetic. What's the use going out and look at tits if you know you won't be grabbing 99% of them anyways.[/QUOTE] the same reason internet porn is still enjoyable, and the same reason people still pursue 3D porn despite it making you all googly-eyed.
[QUOTE=daijitsu;28650725]remember that time we spent the better part of 15 pages coming up with photo euphamisms[/QUOTE] no but I'm willing to bet that the bird tit one was posted more than a few times
[QUOTE=daijitsu;28650725]remember that time we spent the better part of 15 pages coming up with photo euphamisms[/QUOTE] oh and like 3 of them were actually funny then people fucked it up
It's always summer where I live :smug:
mostly hooter jokes. [editline]1:11[/editline] [QUOTE=AlphaGunman;28650740]oh and like 3 of them were actually funny then people fucked it up[/QUOTE] one guy actually posted boobs god what did he think we were talking about
[QUOTE=Itachi_Crow;28650732]no but I'm willing to bet that the bird tit one was posted more than a few times[/QUOTE] Would you rather have boobies?
[QUOTE=jordguitar;28650749]Would you rather have boobies?[/QUOTE] nice try [IMG]http://i53.tinypic.com/154jbeq.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=NoobSauce;28650451]Go suck a dick.[/QUOTE] At least I can Get Dick ... Wait.
Going to spite fans of this by wearing a heavy jacket all day every day for the entire summer. Not that it's ever hot in Scotland. Ever.
[QUOTE=cheesedelux;28651008]Going to spite fans of this by wearing a heavy jacket all day every day for the entire summer. Not that it's ever hot in Scotland. Ever.[/QUOTE] And not that you're a girl?
No I just thought I'd mention jackets for no reason :downs:
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