I was really drunk at a party and I did something I really regret - General

Ok, the 1st thing I want to say is this isn't a troll thread this is a fully 100% true story. I'm just to embarrassed to post this on my real facepunch account because I don't want any of my friends from school or TF2 that Facepunch to know about this. And 2nd thing is I promise you I AM NOT GAY I like a nice pair of double D's as much as the next guy (my finger was gay for about 3 seconds but that's about it! And this is what this story is about.) And if I already told you this story and you know who I really am I would appreciate it if you didn't post my user name. THANKS!!! Ok, to start off I was at a party with about about 20 people, I was drinking some vodka and I was completely smashed I had about a good 20+ shots, but one of my friends decided they wanted to play a little drunk game, and told everyone that is in on it to raise their hand. About 7-8 people joined in on the game including me, below are the simple instructions of the game. INSTRUCTIONS: 1. A deck of cards are scrambled on the floor. 2. Each person picks one random card. 3. You can't look at your card, and you can't show anyone. 4. On the count of 3 throw your card down on the table. 5. The person with the lowest number loses and has to something really horrible. So on three everyone lays down their card, and everyone's mood besides mine goes from nervous to laughing, because of course I draw a fucking 3!!!!! And finally they all agree on one of the worst damn things that comes to their mind. And that thing was to put a condemn on my finger and stick it in this kids asshole that is completely passed out, so in the morning when he wakes up he will be like "WHAT THE FUCK IS A CONDEMN DOING IN MY ASSHOLE?!?!?!" So the girls manage to actually get his pants all the way down without waking up, and so i did it, I actually stuck my finger up this dudes asshole!!! I mean I'm not gonna lie at this time it was HILARIOUS!!! Everyone was in tear laughing so hard even I was. And the morning was even funnier because when he woke up he about shit a brick when he pulled that condemn out of his asshole!!!! But now that I think about it, it's not as funny anymore. And the worst fucking part is that this is my 1st day ever meeting this guy at my friends house. And he was the buyer of the vodka and I was trying to nice to him because we are all really good friends and I'm more of a lover not a fighter so now he probably thinks I really am gay and I was just trying to get at him. and another bad thing is this next Friday he is going to be there at the house again and everyone told him what had happened after I left in the morning and I have no clue what his reaction is going to be to be when I get there this Friday!!!

you were drunk, no one is going to care.

ninjad

Should have used a pencil instead of your finger.

I stuck a lot more than just a finger in there 6 weeks ago and I didn't use a condom!

Condemn?

You get a nice gaybow.

snip

Sounds like you had one hell of a time. But seriously, just pretend you were so drunk you don't remember a thing. people might call you a lightweight, but that's better than being called gay.

[QUOTE=johanz;18666618]I dont love double D[/QUOTE] You have a problem then. /doctor

This'll probably just become an embarrassing anecdote years from now.

Just tell him you're a doctor and you were checking for prostate cancer.

At parties you're supposed to talk to girls and chill out. I don't know why you thought parties involved sodomy but apparently everyone else on the planet didn't get the memo.

[QUOTE=deltasquid;18666640]Sounds like you had one hell of a time. But seriously, just pretend you were so drunk you don't remember a thing. people might call you a lightweight, but that's better than being called gay.[/QUOTE] Lightweight would be two shots of vodka. Twenty shots is going to get anybody pretty damn wasted.

Eh, A joke is a joke really, as long as he understands that it's not a big deal, not like they made you suck him off or anything really bad.

in the butt

If I did this I'd be so proud I'd just want pictures to remember the occasion

I don't really get why anybody would just be cool with a creepy kid fingering someones asshole while they were passed out, joke or not. [editline]02:39PM[/editline] [QUOTE=M2k3;18666702]At parties you're supposed to talk to girls and chill out. I don't know why you thought parties involved sodomy but apparently everyone else on the planet didn't get the memo.[/QUOTE] This.

[QUOTE=exavior_8;18666626]Should have used a pencil instead of your finger.[/QUOTE] Yeah that's what I said but they said nope, it's has to be your finger so I was screwed

what what

Who cares? You're not gay, and being gay isn't a bad thing.

@pl0xinat0r Yeah besides the guy that got the finger!!!

[QUOTE=imaclutcher;18666589]Ok, the 1st thing I want to say is this isn't a troll thread this is a fully 100% true story. I'm just to embarrassed to post this on my real facepunch account because I don't want any of my friends from school or TF2 that Facepunch to know about this. And 2nd thing is I promise you I AM NOT GAY I like a nice pair of double D's as much as the next guy (my finger was gay for about 3 seconds but that's about it! And this is what this story is about.) And if I already told you this story and you know who I really am I would appreciate it if you didn't post my user name. THANKS!!! Ok, to start off I was at a party with about about 20 people, I was drinking some vodka and I was completely smashed I had about a good 20+ shots, but one of my friends decided they wanted to play a little drunk game, and told everyone that is in on it to raise their hand. About 7-8 people joined in on the game including me, below are the simple instructions of the game. INSTRUCTIONS: 1. A deck of cards are scrambled on the floor. 2. Each person picks one random card. 3. You can't look at your card, and you can't show anyone. 4. On the count of 3 throw your card down on the table. 5. The person with the lowest number loses and has to something really horrible. So on three everyone lays down their card, and everyone's mood besides mine goes from nervous to laughing, because of course I draw a fucking 3!!!!! And finally they all agree on one of the worst damn things that comes to their mind. And that thing was to put a condemn on my finger and stick it in this kids asshole that is completely passed out, so in the morning when he wakes up he will be like "WHAT THE FUCK IS A CONDEMN DOING IN MY ASSHOLE?!?!?!" So the girls manage to actually get his pants all the way down without waking up, and so i did it, I actually stuck my finger up this dudes asshole!!! I mean I'm not gonna lie at this time it was HILARIOUS!!! Everyone was in tear laughing so hard even I was. And the morning was even funnier because when he woke up he about shit a brick when he pulled that condemn out of his asshole!!!! But now that I think about it, it's not as funny anymore. And the worst fucking part is that this is my 1st day ever meeting this guy at my friends house. And he was the buyer of the vodka and I was trying to nice to him because we are all really good friends and I'm more of a lover not a fighter so now he probably thinks I really am gay and I was just trying to get at him. and another bad thing is this next Friday he is going to be there at the house again and everyone told him what had happened after I left in the morning and I have no clue what his reaction is going to be to be when I get there this Friday!!![/QUOTE] Condemn? What are you, 13?

This guy is really garry.

thanks [url="http://www.facepunch.com/search.php?searchid=1557602"]KalebFTW[/url] for sharing your awful story with us and putting more dumb blog crap in GD