Hell's Kitchen (TV Show), the pinnacle of stupidity
235 replies, posted
[img]http://www.premiumhollywood.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/key_art_hells_kitchen1.jpg[/img]
[B]
"I'm Gordon Ramsay, and I scream a lot"[/B]
Everyone who was watched atleast one episode of this show knows what I'm talking about.
[B]Why is it so bad?[/B]
Well first of all I don't know how the fuck do they choose the contestants that get to the actual show, but I guess there is some qualification round prior to the actual show that weeds out the complete fucktards. This raises the first question I need to ask: How fucking bad are the people that don't get to the show when the people who do get to the show have a hard time whipping up a fucking omelet? I guess the people who don't get to the show shit their pants when they're told to bring water to a boil. I mean holy fuck, how hard is it cook a chicken breast nice and evenly? When I'm looking at the contestants on the show it seems like it's the hardest thing on the planet! Seriously, with the amount of food they throw out on each episode they could feed the entire population of africa for a fucking month!
Another thing that I noticed when I was watching this show was the fact that when the kitchen was shut down they all gather around their favourite hobby. Can you guess what it is? SMOKING! I mean holy fucking shitwaffles, what the fuck is a gang of smokers doing on a fucking cooking show? Last time I checked the ability the tell the difference between shit and ravioli was pretty crucial, but I guess I was wrong on that one.
[B]Isn't it humane that people make mistakes?[/B]
Yeah, it is, but if you fail to cook a chicken breast through and through over and over again, you're a horribly bad chef and shouldn't be on the show. Everyone makes mistakes, I know, but in a kitchen environment it's pretty fucking important that you make sure that you learn THE FIRST TIME a customer returns a dish to the kitchen. Serving raw food in a restaurant is always a serious mistake, because someone might get really sick or even die, if you're not paying attention on what you're doing. If raw food is the only thing you can produce you should be on the "Who want's to be a sushi chef?" -show and not on one that actually requires you to cook shit properly.
There was also this whinypants who I remember from last season or something who had to leave, because he was morbidly obese and was pretty much dying in the kitchen, but now he's fucking back and he seems to be somekinda messiah, because he is given out to be like best at everything. "Yo yo yo, I'm back! I lost two pounds and now I'm back in the game". He's being kind and giving all kinds of tips and tricks to his team members (note: he was placed into the womens team. Whiny old cunt that he is.) and being all knowing and powerful. Well atleast until the next challenge comes.
They were supposed to prepare as many shrimps they can in ten minutes. They needed to cut the head, remove the shell and the shit sack. That's it. Most of them did pretty good and I expected this whiny fat bastard do like 50 in the given time. He made seven. Seven shrimps in ten minutes. Four of them were thrown to the bin. That makes a total of three shrimp in ten minutes. A real fucking saviour alright. Most of the team got atleast 5 or 7 shrimp done.
[B]The contestants can't all be that bad, someone has to win you know?[/B]
I don't know, but I gotta tip my hat to Gordon, because if he can find a proper chef to one of his restaurants from this group of retards, he really needs some serious balls, because I wouldn't let any of the contestants even pour me my morning cereal. Let alone run a fucking restaurant.
All of the contestants own a very unique personality on most cases. There's always the whiner who isn't treated like a king, the one who fucks everything up, the one who blames everyone else, the one who is like a time bomb ready to explode when told what to do. They all seem like people who failed kindegarden, because they're so fucking childish and whiny little bastards. The horrible truth is that all of these contestants think that they can run a whole god damn restaurant when they can't even fry a fucking fish properly.
On tonights show there was this guy that made me instantly think of Brucie from GTAIV. He was cocky, rude, "I'm the best at everything", everyone loves me, etc.. you know how Brucie is. Though Brucie was funny, this guy was just a fucking cunt. So, he was supposed to serve the appetizers for the customers and prepare them right in front of them using this cooking stroller apparatus. Well, he was going to trust his Texas charisma (what ever the fuck that is) to make the customers love him. Well all he did was fuck around and flirt with the young ladies. He dropped the food on the floor two times in a row and on the second time the whole fucking pan went flying. After a while of fucking things up to no end, Gordons right hand man Jean-Philippe stepped up and tried to give him a few tips to help him perform better. What does he do? He goes to a maximum defence mode and is like "Aww heeeeel naw, dawg, you givin' me advice? Yo want to get killed, dawg?" and nearly ends up into a fist fight with Jean-Philippe, who was just trying to help him.
After the serving was over both teams went to do what they do best, smoke the fuck out of their tastebuds, and decide who they'll drop from the show. Well, of course Brucie here got some comments about his behavior and, yep, you guessed it, [B]MAXIMUM ARMOR[/B] and the usual "You wanna take this outside, bitch?! Imma whack yo ass till it's medium rare, homie!" and then he walks away huffing and puffing like he was having a stroke or something.
What the fuck is a guy like that doing in a fucking restaurant? If you got a temper of a toddler you don't belong to a kitchen.
Also, right at the end when the team leaders were asked to name the nominees and why, the other teams leader went to retard mode and decided to make a complete ass of himself. Ramsay had to ask like four of five times "NOMINEES AND WHY!" and still the guy was like "The people know what they did and I don't take part of it" I mean what the fuck, it's a simple question, why can't you answer it? He's not asking you the square root of the number 5345, he's asking you tell the NAMES of the people your team wants out and WHY. "I'm not a BITCH!" he says with eyes burning red. *akward silence* ..... ..... I mean seriously, what the flying fuck has that to do with anything? Then he starts to threaten Gordon and wants to fight with him, because he is such a fucking retard that he can't answer a simple question of who and why.
I suggest everyone of you watch this show. It's hilariously stupid and the quality of the contestants will make you cry your eyes out.
It's reality tv
You DONKEY
I dunno, some of the stuff Gordon says is pure gold.
I think everyone watches this show just to see Ramsay flip shit and hear what insults he can come up with.
I think it's a bit harder to cook a chicken breast when you're being pressed for time whilst a guy screams at you and cameras film it, as opposed to cooking one in the comfort of your home but idk I'm not a chef.
Though for the mistakes they make, I'd imagine having the world's most famous chef going balls to the walls insane and shouting that you suck/you will never amount to anything/you are an idiot/whatever probably makes you commit a lot more mistakes.
loads of chefs smoke, it's probably one of the most stressful jobs going, so you can't blame them.
[QUOTE=acds;31293802]Though for the mistakes they make, I'd imagine having the world's most famous chef going balls to the walls insane and shouting that you suck/you will never amount to anything/you are an idiot/whatever probably makes you commit a lot more mistakes.[/QUOTE]
True, but the contestants in this show are like nothing I've seen on a cooking show before. I bet that when the dudes are at the urinal and someone else enters the bathroom, they forget that they're men and piss all over the fucking ceiling in panic.
Tvtropes is right when it says all the contestants on this show can't seem to grasp that they aren't on a normal reality tv show.
[QUOTE=lemongrapes;31293814]loads of chefs smoke, it's probably one of the most stressful jobs going, so you can't blame them.[/QUOTE]
Doesn't make it any less stupid.
Most people watch it solely for Gordon's insults and what not.
[QUOTE=Hullu V3;31293941]Doesn't make it any less stupid.[/QUOTE]
It's a TV reality show.
You question their abilities to cook because they smoke?
That's just....
Anyways wrong section.
I dunno, the show itself can be quite entertaining when you're enjoying Ramsay's abusive ad-libs, but the stupidity of some of the contestants is shocking. I'm surprised that [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJVk4q7RUE]Raj[/url] even made it into Series 8. And for some reason there's always one chef who has to leave due to medical problems just before the opening service.
[QUOTE=Jack_Thompson;31294041]You question their abilities to cook because they smoke?
That's just....
Anyways wrong section.[/QUOTE]
Did you read at all or just between the lines?
Also, Raj was by far the dumbest:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJVk4q7RUE[/media]
Oh my god, don't remind me about Raj. That episode made me go mental. It's like he was being stupid on purpose.
i love this show, same with kitchen nightmares. i remember an episode when this guy challenged Ramsay for a fight. i couldnt laugh any harder.
also, hav you noticed that most of the winners are females? with the exception of one where it was i think Jay and this other girl. Jay was like 40 something while the girl wasnt and had a baby and husband. but either way, i still love this show.
it's like operation repo
*bleep*ing bleeps everywhere
hmm
stick to making up stories about 13 years old, this was a pretty weak rant
[QUOTE=BaCkStAbEr;31294254]*bleep*ing bleeps everywhere[/QUOTE]
Thank god it's shown uncencored here.
I've seen, like, 10 minutes of a single episode, and I didn't like it.
I've watched this show with the parents here and there, pretty much solely to see his tantrums. I think he and the show are perfectly tolerable
My sister also met him at an airport restaurant she was working at and he was totally polite and a nice guy.
I wonder how Gordan Ramsays childhood was...
oh right, *bleep* in every sentence
anyone can be polite and anyone can swear like him. anyways, he's a damn good chef and in hells kitchen, it's basically like boot camp. like how the commander is always yelling but really hes making everyone better.
Calling this the pinnacle of stupidity is a insult to Jersey Shore. At least this has some comedy value.
[QUOTE=thisispain;31294258]hmm
stick to making up stories about 13 years old, this was a pretty weak rant[/QUOTE]
Sorry my love, I'll whip up a new story next week if I have the time.
This season is the worst by far. They've abandon the idea of accepting normal people, so they gather people with large egos who "know how to cook". They're replacing the good parts of the show with drama.