No, this isn't the Onion - ISIS, Taliban announced Jihad against each other - Polidicks

[quote]Nabi Jan Mullahkhil, police chief of southern Helmand province has told Mashaal Radio during an interview that he has received documents in which both the terrorist groups have announced Jihad against each other. Abdu Bakar Al-Baghdadi, the leader of ISIS has called Taliban leader Mullah Mohammad Omar “a fool and illiterate warlord”. Al-Baghdadi has said that Mullah Omar does not deserve a spiritual or political credibility. While on the other hand Taliban fighters have been ordered by their leaders not to let Daesh flag raise in Afghanistan.[/quote] [url]http://www.khaama.com/isis-taliban-announced-jihad-against-each-other-3206[/url]

Who knows, maybe they'll wipe eachother out and we wont have to interfere at all.

Fucking idiots. They are so brainwashed they don't even know what they're angry about anymore.

Whoever looses, everyone else wins.

[quote]Abdu Bakar Al-Baghdadi, the leader of ISIS has called Taliban leader Mullah Mohammad Omar “a fool and illiterate warlord”.[/quote] Glass houses, homeboy...

[QUOTE=Fish Muffin;47564682]Whoever looses, everyone else wins.[/QUOTE] Thinking about the general people in these areas everyone loses.

Wouldn't it be funny if you were in Afghanistan, and instead of being ambushed, two sides are just firing at each other, and you're just ignored? Also, Taliban is trying to stay relevant, because ISIS has been getting all the media buzz lately.

Finally, a conflict where I can unironically support the Taliban.

Well, we now have our two biggest terrorist organizations terrorizing each other. Lovely.

fuck lets just put the guns on the racks, crack a 6 pack and sit back

Now if only we can get them both to declare jihad on North Korea, everything would just take care of itself.

Good, let them kill eachother. [editline]20th April 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Maegord;47564763]Finally, a conflict where I can unironically support the Taliban.[/QUOTE] Hope you're not being serious.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. ISIS and Taliban are waging a war over who has the highest horse to sit on.

Meanwhile at Taliban headquarters. Random Taliban guy "Hey, now since ISIS is our enemy, that means their enemy is now our friend". Calls US "Hello US, can we be on your side now" US "No, we still fucking hate you" Taliban dude "Oh..."

I couldn't imagine the friendly fire, how do they know who's who

[QUOTE=ridinmybike;47564890]I couldn't imagine the friendly fire, how do they know who's who[/QUOTE] Infidel detectors.

Great, now they can enjoy being stuck in a hopeless Afghan quagmire for 14 years.

[QUOTE=Deathtrooper2;47564875]Meanwhile at Taliban headquarters. Random Taliban guy "Hey, now since ISIS is our enemy, that means their enemy is now our friend". Calls US "Hello US, can we be on your side now" US "No, we still fucking hate you" Taliban dude "Oh..."[/QUOTE] Or their attempts to fix this, for that matter. "Hey Achmed, why won't they help us? Are we doing something wrong?" "I think I know just the thing!" Next day: Taliban declares jihad on Boko Haram.

Wow, can't wait for the civilian casualties to astronomically rise.

Who would win in a battle between the two? Both are massively battle hardened

Fuck this I'm backing the Taliban. They're less shit than ISIS. Sure, they're still scum, but not ISIS-tier scum. [editline]20th April 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;47564919]Or their attempts to fix this, for that matter. "Hey Achmed, why won't they help us? Are we doing something wrong?" "I think I know just the thing!" Next day: Taliban declares jihad on Boko Haram.[/QUOTE] They already have since ISIS and Boko Haram are in an alliance. Geez, get your terrorism right, mate.

Why do we have to back either side?

[QUOTE=Baron von Hax;47565174]Fuck this I'm backing the Taliban. They're less shit than ISIS. Sure, they're still scum, but not ISIS-tier scum. [editline]20th April 2015[/editline] They already have since ISIS and Boko Haram are in an alliance. Geez, get your terrorism right, mate.[/QUOTE] Or you could, y'know, back neither one.

This is a cringey thread. Nobody seems to understand what ISIS or the Taliban are or what they're doing. It's not "brainwashed" for ISIS to criticize the Taliban. Since they claim to be the caliphate, any other Islamic authority is unjustified and a threat to their ideology. It's a completely logical statement. This is why we've seen various other Islamist organizations "pledge allegiance" to ISIS in one way or another, because if there is a rightly functioning caliphate in existence, it is heresy to continue existing outside of it. The Taliban and ISIS don't have the same goals or the same scope and it's not some out of the blue "oh wow haha" moment.

[QUOTE=The fox;47564669]Who knows, maybe they'll wipe eachother out and we wont have to interfere at all.[/QUOTE] If the us stays out of it, yeah that be the smart thing. As for the civilians? They ain't helpless.

[QUOTE=Fish Muffin;47564682]Whoever looses, everyone else wins.[/QUOTE] except everyone in the middle.

[QUOTE=Smallheart;47565198]Why do we have to back either side?[/QUOTE] We don't, but comparative to ISIS, I'd prefer the Taliban win this conflict. I mean if they were both equally 1:1 as bad, I wouldn't give a shit, just let whoever wins win, but, the Taliban are slightly less shit imo.

[QUOTE=The fox;47564669]Who knows, maybe they'll wipe eachother out and we wont have to interfere at all.[/QUOTE] Reminds me of George Carlin's joke where he says that if he ever gets cancer he hopes he'll get another kind so that they can fight each other and kill themselves :v:

[Quote=Explosions]The Taliban and ISIS don't have the same goals or the same scope and it's not some out of the blue "oh wow haha" moment.[/QUOTE] I suppose your'e quite right. I just never thought so many steps into this specific issue. So, oh wow haha :v:

[QUOTE=gk99;47565262]We don't, but comparative to ISIS, I'd prefer the Taliban win this conflict. I mean if they were both equally 1:1 as bad, I wouldn't give a shit, just let whoever wins win, but, the Taliban are slightly less shit imo.[/QUOTE] Well, there are no sides for the west to pick thats smart. Let them kill each other off and destroy the winner.