Man you're so edgy.
Really I don't think I can relate. Sure, there are plenty of catty relationships (mainly between bitchy girls as far as i have seen), but I have plenty of genuine friends. I want nothing in return from them and want the best for them. Even my exes I feel no anger towards. There are shitty people out there, but just because you have autism doesn't mean they are all like that.
[editline]5th March 2011[/editline]
Also, doing something nice for others so you feel good about helping them is the entire point of selflessness.
You're almost as funny as the guy who said love is just dopamine and chemical reactions.
[QUOTE=redonkulous;28442749]Man you're so edgy.
Really I don't think I can relate. Sure, there are plenty of catty relationships (mainly between bitchy girls as far as i have seen), but I have plenty of genuine friends. I want nothing in return from them and want the best for them. Even my exes I feel no anger towards. There are shitty people out there, but just because you have autism doesn't mean they are all like that.
[editline]5th March 2011[/editline]
Also, doing something nice for others so you feel good about helping them is the entire point of selflessness.[/QUOTE]
No, doing something nice for others so they can feel good and wanting nothing in return is the entire point of selflessness.
[QUOTE=REMBER;28442705][B]I've never been a social person. I never liked to be with other people, in school i was an outsider and almost never talked to anyone.[/B][/QUOTE]
Maybe, just MAYBE this is why you look at friendship and love in such a terrible way.
Yes, it is normal to want something in return when you act nice to someone, but being a good friend or boyfriend/girlfriend is not about trading good intentions like pokemons.
Edit: Seriously, get laid.
[QUOTE=REMBER;28442705]I've never been a social person. I never liked to be with other people, in school i was an outsider and almost never talked to anyone. I have spent all of my years observing other peoples behavior. And from what I've seen i deduce that there is no such thing as friendship or love.
I've seen hundreds of so called "friends" and "couples" and in my eyes all of them looked like snakes waiting for an opportunity to strike when you least expect it. As good ol' sources tell us love is a selfless emotion and as war as i'm concerned there is no such thing as selflessness. Every human act is selfish. Every human does something and expects something in return and the expected reward is not always materialistic. Emotions and feelings are the psychological equivalent of physical materialistic rewards. Humans only care about themselves, there is no such thing as selflessness. We always want something in return. We can't just commit an act for the sake of it. That's where love comes in. Selflessness is when you WANT NOTHING IN RETURN (Feelings and emotions included)
[b]When i was in love i found the need to be close to my loved one so i can experience happiness[/b]. And to achieve my goal i would commit acts of kindness that would seem selfless to others but in reality i wanted something in return. Emotions. And i think others feel the same way when they are in love. And from that we can safely say that every human act is selfish.
The same thing goes to friendship.
I really want to hear facepunches point of view on this topic.[/QUOTE]
That's called infatuation.
Sounds like another FPer who doesn't have any experience socially so they overthink the shit out of it
Oh shit, 2000 posts. Now to just sit back and wait til' next year
[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;28442973]Sounds like another FPer who doesn't have any experience socially so they overthink the shit out of it
Oh shit, 2000 posts. Now to just sit back and wait til' next year[/QUOTE]
Sounds like another FPer who posts in threads only to raise his postcount.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;28442925]That's called infatuation.[/QUOTE]
This is true. True love only really occurs after a pretty long time.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;28443285]This is true. True love only really occurs after a pretty long time.[/QUOTE]
What about friendship then?
Sounds like the buildup of social failure and rejection has activated some sort of failsafe in your brain that's telling you that you don't need it or it doesn't exist.
That or you're in denial. :v: My heart goes out to you in hopes that you stop being so narcissistic.
[editline]5th March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=REMBER;28443363]What about friendship then?[/QUOTE]
All friendship needs is a couple of beers and a football game to get started.
True friendship is that, only matured.
go be a social failure somewhere else
-snip-
[QUOTE=Chrille;28443386]go be a social failure somewhere else[/QUOTE]
Hey now, be nice. :v:
[QUOTE=Chrille;28443386]go be a social failure somewhere else[/QUOTE]
I agree, there is a my little pony thread right here [b][url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1057578-My-Little-Pony-Friendship-is-Magic[/url][/b] it fits social failures perfect.
[QUOTE=Brage Nyman;28443409]I agree, there is a my little pony thread right here [b][url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1057578-My-Little-Pony-Friendship-is-Magic[/url][/b] it fits social failures perfect.[/QUOTE]
jesus christ that show makes me want to go live on an island and beat the shit out of all the monkeys that live there
OP, every good act is selfish, every evil act is selfish, every act is selfish. Because everything you do, you do to feel good or to gain from. This doesn't make us evil and doesn't mean that there is no goodness or love or nice in us. I have grown up, being taught to help other people and do things for them wanting nothing in return. It's my ethics and my morals. When I do this it makes me feel good because it makes me think I've done the right thing, technically that's selfish but that's the way it works. I don't get why you'd be all hateful to the world because of that, it doesn't make the world to something less than what it is.
Shit man, just be happy okay?
Rember, I don't know why but i always did picture you as a kid that never hung out with anyone or talked to anyone. Call it a lucky guess
[QUOTE=REMBER;28442705]there is no such thing as selflessness.[/QUOTE]
So if you were to die for someone else, which means you ultimately gain nothing, even that isnt selfless?
Being selfless doesnt necessarily mean that you want NOTHING in return, its simply acting with more concern for others than yourself, but I'd still say its selfless to go through hardships for other people just for a little emotional satisfaction.
Also...Who cares if your friends or lovers always do things for you with a little bit expected in return in their mind, its just the way we are as a race. We do things for our own survival and benefit just as others do; we find people who meet our needs and whose needs we meet and form friendships and relationships, but just because they are based on what we can provide for each other it doesnt mean you shouldnt be happy about it, if self satisfaction and pleasure is the goal and everyone provides that for each other, everyone wins, right?
True love to me by definition is essentially two people who meet each others needs so well that they don't run into as many issues. I have a pretty placid personality so I have no problems with moulding myself to fit other peoples needs, which is how I get along with so many people so easily. You can stand on the outside and question the point of everything all you want, but that isnt gonna stop the people with all the friends and in relationships being happy with their life, as superficial as you think it is.
In the end it all balances out. I scratch your back you scratch mine, everyone gets what they want and everyone is satisfied.
Hey man, I've actually been contemplating something similar to what you just wrote about.
I too am an antisocial person and although I've gotten a little better, I've got no real definition as to what a friend is. My 'best friends' are people that I've grown up with, people that I speak to on a regular basis and have shared interests with. I agree, there is no such thing as a selfless person, but I've altered my definition of what self, or selflessness is when interacting with them. I know them well enough that whatever decision or action they have that involves me, is in my own best interest as well as theirs.
When dealing with the outside world, however I have the same sort of pessimistic outlook. You can't fucking trust anyone outside of that internal sphere. It's as simple as that, for me at least. When dealing with people I work with, or otherwise interact with on an irregular basis I found myself carefully scrutinizing everything they've said or done either during a conversation or after the fact.
It isn't something I like to do, as it is a very stressful way to go about living. I've frankly given up on the whole notion of people outside that group having your interests at heart. They don't.
From my own experience, be it a person you work with or hang out with, if pressed they will do EVERYTHING in their power to save their own ass, and fucking bury you. Always. Camaraderie as a basic human condition does not exist. The world is a very hostile place, and you have to look out for your own interests through superior talent and skill if you want to get anywhere.
So I agree for the most part.
So much teen angst in the air
Stop thinking so much about this
[QUOTE=BurnBlackJay;28444068]So much teen angst in the air[/QUOTE]
Hey if you don't like the smell, you don't have to be here.
[QUOTE=REMBER;28442705]I've never been a social person. I never liked to be with other people, in school i was an outsider and almost never talked to anyone. I have spent all of my years observing other peoples behavior.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://mostlyjunkfood.com/treats/2011/01/creep1.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=MasterG;28445679]Pffy fuck friendship and love, that's not for real manly men like the majority of facepunch are, myself included!
[img_thumb]http://avatars.fpcontent.net/image.php?u=43805&dateline=1299274648[/img_thumb]
[/QUOTE]
you are a small, blue nooblike pony that smears filth on your face?
OP, you are one analytical motherfucker.
I used to think like the OP.
Then I graduated middle school.
[QUOTE=MasterG;28446284]Also, my sister and her boyfriend are happy when together, joke around each other, have their own in-jokes, constantly want to spend time with each other, and genuinely care about each other.
OP, if you're talking about 14 - 18 year olds in high-school / secondary school, then don't apply that same scenario to all couples. Some people genuinely like each other.
[editline]6th March 2011[/editline]
So much teen angst. Everyone feels that way till they get into 6th form / year 12 / college, and then everyone comes back from the summer holidays and just... mellows out. Everyone stops being a wangsty little shit or asshole showoff and becomes a normal person. At least that's what it's like at my school.
Dunno what it's like in other places, and it'd be ignorant of me to apply my experiences to all people my age, but still.[/QUOTE]
I think he means that all acts are selfish, because if you do a nice thing for someone, you're motivated by feeling good about yourself having done it. Therefore selfless acts are motivated by your own gain, therefore everyone is selfish.
Which technically makes sense I suppose, but really isn't a good way of looking at it.
Socially inept people have no business analyzing social behaviors.
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