Gaithersburg Police Arrest Man Accused Of Bizarre Act - Polidicks

[quote] GAITHERSBURG, MD (WUSA)--A bizarre and grotesque crime is under investigation in Gaithersburg. Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr., 28, has been charged with second-degree assault, after he allegedly stared at a woman standing in line at a Giant grocery store on Muddy Branch Road on Thursday, followed her out of the store and committed a disgusting act. "Once out of the store, he was walking closely behind her and sprayed a substance from a plastic bottle onto her back and hair. Investigation later determined that substance was in fact human semen," said Gaithersburg Police Chief Mark Sroka. After interviewing the suspect, police are convinced there might be more victims. "This is my first experience with a crime with human semen there in 24 years. So it is an unusual case," said Chief Sroka. Edwards was seen leaving the Giant parking lot in a gray car. He now faces a charge of second-degree assault, which is a misdemeanor and possibly an additional charge of reckless endangerment. Edwards is now free on a $4,000 bond. He might face additional charges if any more victims come forward. Written by Andrea McCarren Written by Andrea McCarren[/quote] [img]http://www.wusa9.com/genthumb.ashx?e=3&h=240&w=320&i=/assetpool/images/100731040458_new%20edwards.jpg[/img] :smug: much? Source [url]http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=105947&catid=158[/url]

What. The. Fuck.

The lady should have turned around and pepper sprayed him.

Thought it was just going to be for staring at her, my eyes skipped over the line after that

how do you spray semen, it's sticky and thick.

[QUOTE=bobste;23770429]how do you spray semen, it's sticky and thick.[/QUOTE] Mix with water or oil, or jack off so much you get mostly liquid and mix it up then put in a spray bottle.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0WFWqcuoC0[/media]

I guess this Mr. Edwards came to justice.

Semen in a bottle...that's a new one.

[QUOTE=bobste;23770429]how do you spray semen, it's sticky and thick.[/QUOTE] steak sauce

[QUOTE=superdinoman;23770487]Mix with water or oil, or jack off so much you get mostly liquid and mix it up then put in a spray bottle.[/QUOTE] You seem to know a bit too much about this.

[QUOTE=Jsm;23770677]You seem to know a bit too much about this.[/QUOTE] yeah and? :smug:

What a fucking weirdo....

:smug:

Didn't Penny Arcade make a joke like that? [img_thumb]http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2001/7/27/[/img_thumb] Wow, I never expected to use that comic in a news thread.

Trolling irl: You're doing it wrong. On a more serious note: How is this classified as assault?

[QUOTE=slinkman;23771181]Trolling irl: You're doing it wrong. On a more serious note: How is this classified as assault?[/QUOTE] He was carrying a concealed weapon without permit... [IMG]http://www.wusa9.com/genthumb.ashx?e=3&h=240&w=320&i=/assetpool/images/100731040458_new%20edwards.jpg[/IMG]

Every time I read Second-degree assault, I associate it with second hand something or other. So when I read the article at first I thought he was being charged for assault because he was staring at a woman being assaulted. And of course, it only got worse as I continued reading.

Wow I grew up in this same Gaithursburg. In fact I've been to that Giant a bunch of times...

Jesus I lived most of my life in G'Burg. Nothing interesting even happens there. First an earthquake, now this.

That's just fucking weird. Why would you do that?

I am in stitches