I know what you're thinking. Well, not exactly but I'm guessing it's something along the lines of 'oh god, did zomboid come back on an alt'. Allow me to put your concerns about that to rest, I hate that guy. Though he does have a nice way of taking criticism.
I recently started writing a zombie story (original, aren't I?) in diary form because I couldn't really think of anything else I wanted to write about. So I guess here's the first day:
[quote]Day 1
I suppose an introduction is in order, eh? If nothing else, it'll keep me busy.
I'm Tyler. I'm a 27 year-old single (ladies....) web developer who currently resides in the lovely city of New York. I'm not gonna bother explaining how all this came to be, there'll be plenty of sources on that. No need for another one. Why document this then? Well, every experience of this will be different. Getting as much of them as possible might help in the future, fuck if I know. Regardless, from here on starts an epic tale of heroism, bravery and [del]lots of sex with hot supermodels[/del] Oh who am I kidding, I'm more likely to shit my pants then to meet a nice girl, let alone get laid at a time like this.
Sadly, my tale of my slow descent into the realization that we are most likely fucked isn't that exciting. After a particularly long night of partying for once in my life, I awoke at what I think was about half past 2 to find my friend Jethro banging my door down while screaming to let him in. Now bear in mind, Jethro is the kind of guy who would take a blowjob from a cannibal, just to give you a taste of how ballsy and cool this guy is, so I was understandably a bit confused. After opening my door, he ran in and almost stumbled and tripped right out the second story window whilst very politely asking me to close the door. He asked me if I was okay along with some other incoherent nonsense. After giving a good hard frowning, he smashed the on/off switch on my TV remote and turned on Fox News of all things. Granted, it did give me a rather unsubtle reality check of what was going down but it had a religious undertone that was about as subtle as a brick to my face.
Basically, every person who likes horror games can now experience either a wet dream combined with gunwank or they can hide in their closets and piss themselves until the zombies eat them. Yeah, I know the TV calls them the 'undead 'or the 'recently deceased' but fuck that. Everyone's familiar with the term 'zombies'. Thankfully I security-proofed the fuck out of my apartment during my angsty and paranoid months (which coincidentally ended when a friend took me along to an Anarchist's meeting and I realized that pretty much everyone there was an immature angsty cunt but that aside) in the form of big metal bars, guns all over my apartment and easy access to the roof just in case the man ever raided my apartment. So naturally I barred up my door to hell and back, moved my fridge against it (it's still plugged in, ain't that marvelous?), secured the other exit, grabbed my guns and, against all horror movie logic, Jethro and I had a beer. Yeah, I was scared out of my mind but what was I gonna do? All of my family lives across the fucking ocean (besides that, the phone was down), I don't have a girlfriend to be concerned about and Jethro is one of maybe 2 of my mates who lives within a reasonable distance of me. I had plenty of food in the house since I'm one of those mad bastards who does shopping once a week. I have a feeling Jethro didn't have the same train of thought, since his bag contained a few cans of food, guns, ammo, guns, some bottled water and more guns but not a tin opener of all things. Did I mention he's a retard?
We took the sniper rifles in my apartment and decided to pick some zombies off from the roof to kill time, no pun intended.
Actually, this might be a good moment to describe these bastards, maybe dispel some myths.
For starters, these guys are slow. And when I say slow, I mean slower then a drunk turtle. Honestly, shooting these guys is almost yawneriffically (and here's hoping I spelled that somewhat tolerably) easy. The downside however is that you won't find a single one of these fuckers. No, you'll always find them in groups ranging from 3 to 'i'm so fucked', with the latter being slightly more common. Also seems to be no point to trying to mimic the bastards to try and get through. Saw one dude try it and he got swarmed before you could say 'look at me ma, i'm the king of the zombies'.
A slightly unpleasant detail is that these guys look horrible. And I'm not just talking 'gross, that bitch has part of her arm missing', I'm talking about decaying skin, rotting teeth and bleeding eyeballs on some. Plus they have this magical ability of reeking for miles. Honestly, we could smell some up on the roof.
Sadly, they're clawing away at the ground floor door as I'm writing this. I'm optimistic about the fridge holding back for at least some time. Busy packing my bag right now. Putting in this notepad, a few pens, cans of soda, bottles of water, cans of food, a flashlight and of course a tin opener. I'm not as stupid as Jethro. Speaking of Jethro, he seems to have calmed down a bit since we've shot some dudes.
Things are going well between us for the moment. No arguments just yet, besides the 'who's gonna be keeping guard' one. Thankfully I'm almost nocturnal so I can sleep for about 3 hours and be lively as fuck the next morning. So I'll be on guard until something like 6, after which Jethro will take over. No plan for tomorrow yet but I'll bet 10 bucks that we'll both be paranoid as fuck and that we'll mostly be watching the door all day.[/quote]
So go ahead and read it. Criticize me, who knows, you might even get the tiniest hint of liking it. I'll defend myself where necessary and call you all faggots at all other times!
Use real words for numbers such as: Two.
Writers who use numbers irritate me.
Also, give the guns a brand and name that's preferably real.
Well I'm not sure how much I can say about your writing, since it's Tyler's narrative and he's obviously a twat
So suffice it to say, I don't like Tyler, and I'm rooting for the zombies all the way.
whats with all the zombies in cc
make Tyler less of a stuck up prick and a realistic character, he comes off as one of those annoying slasher movie brats who are there just to make the bloodshed all the more satisfying.
[QUOTE=Detlef;30839425]whats with all the zombies in cc[/QUOTE]
Well they saw this one cool guy do it once. I heard he even has a comic about it.
have not heard of such a guy
All the swear words make this look really poor and immature. Not that I am against swear words, but they seem really out of place here.
Wow, seeing as its supposed to display the mind of Taylor, he's one of the most unlikeable protagonists I've ever read about.
Also why do you keep writing about how much pussy he's not getting, its a zombie story right?
And I have to agree with Johan, the swear words really don't make it better.
[editline]3rd July 2011[/editline]
Wow, seeing as its supposed to display the mind of Taylor, he's one of the most unlikeable protagonists I've ever read about.
Also why do you keep writing about how much pussy he's not getting, its a zombie story right?
And I have to agree with Johan, the swear words really don't make it better.
[editline]3rd July 2011[/editline]
Fucking doubleposting with my 12.5 kb/s monster internet.
[QUOTE=Numidium;30874417]
Fucking doubleposting with my 12.5 kb/s monster internet.[/QUOTE]
I feel your pain man, I feel it.
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