• Some girl left some kid on my doorstep
    98 replies, posted
All right, so, to give you a background story, my mother and I are taking in a Spanish foreign exchange student from Spanishland for about a month. He is here to learn English. He's a few years younger than me, and pretty different from me, and, honestly, I'm not all that crazy about him. His English is choppy and he's not much for conversation. But he's nice enough and I have no true reason to [I]dislike[/I] him, and so I am, of course, fairly kind to him. After all, he's still learning. However, it gets really boring and uncomfortable when he wants to sit and stare at dicks on chatroulette for five hours. Story time! So, it's this kid's second week here, and he's still a bit nervous, but he's all right and all, as I said. But he has this counselor, whose name will go unmentioned, named Puta who is a total [cussword]. First of all, she absolutely forbids the kid from speaking [I]any[/I] Spanish whatsoever. My mother is Puerto Rican, and so she also speaks Spanish, but Puta is very disapproving of it. She gave the kid a hard time on one of the first days and lectured him about a bunch of crap while I sat with my friend and talked about taboos and eavesdropped. Christina almighty! But, to be fair, that's not that big a deal. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, saying that she is simply doing her job, and that the kid really is here to learn English. But shit got real today. Today, we were informed that the kid would be home after dinner-time (American dinner-time, obviously), meaning around 6:00 p.m. Puta was going to take him to a baseball game, and would bring him back, as well. My mother and I decided to get me a haircut and go out to eat. I drove her around a little bit, too, and then we went home. We had been gone for a few hours. When we arrived, we saw the kid standing on the porch in the scorching Floridian heat wearing uncomfortable clothes, just [I]waiting[/I] for us! It was 3:00 p.m., and we were shocked. We asked how long he had been there, and he solemnly said "two hours." We were like "WTF" (Except my mom, because she's too religioso to cuss) and he told us that the plan had in fact been that he was to be dropped off at one and then picked up at around 6:00 p.m. again. Why? I don't know, but nobody told us that! It was never even implied! I was pretty angry that they would leave a young kid sitting outside an empty house like that, without even [I]calling[/I] us and asking where we were. They had no idea how long we were going to be gone, and he could have very well been there till six o' clock. I mean, wut de eff, man! I just felt that I needed to tell somebody, even an internet forum. That, and, what should I tell Puta? Her phone is off right now... TL;DR - Some chick left some kid on our porch and expects us to raise him and shit. What do?
Is her name really Puta? That's just too comical
Puta? As spanish for whore?.
Wow that sucks. Drop him off at an orphanage, the mother obviously doesn't want him nor will provide for him.
Wait, what?? :v:
DISREGARD THAT- Find the bitch, give them the child, slap her across the face
[QUOTE=Egevened;23192840]Is her name really Puta? That's just too comical[/QUOTE] Hahah no I just did that for effect
What a cocknugget.
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23192899]Hahah no I just did that for effect[/QUOTE] This whole story just for effect too?
Very creative story, but a spanish person isnt stupid enough to call their children whores.
Call whoever is in charge of Puta and file a complaint saying she's not doing her job properly. If she's been a complete ass for a long time, then you should have more than enough to get a different councilor for him.
[QUOTE='[ToRn];23192924']This whole story just for effect too?[/QUOTE] No lol the rest is true. Except the TL;DR.
[QUOTE=gol4z03;23192968]Very creative story, but a spanish person isnt stupid enough to call their children whores.[/QUOTE] [img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/rating/book_error.png[/img]
0-o
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23192800] ...named Puta who is a total [cussword]. But shit got real today. [/QUOTE] Why censor one word and not censor the other
Raise it in the way of the Facepuncher.
[QUOTE=Tiowa;23193401]Why censor one word and not censor the other[/QUOTE] I like to think the reader decides for himself on the former.
Take pics. Then UPS it to Garry so he can raise him as his own
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23192800] foreign exchange student from Spanishland [/QUOTE] Spanishland aye?, I didnt know there was a Disneyland in Spain
Puta also means fuck in Filipino. Putanginamo! = Fuck your mom. You're welcome!
Wait what? He goes on chatroulette and looks at dicks all day?
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23192800]TL;DR - Some chick left some kid on our porch and expects us to raise him and shit. What do?[/QUOTE] Sell him. They have people who will pay top dollar for children.
-snippety snip-
[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;23193664]Hold on a sec; I've heard some of the most ridiculous spanish names -I should know, I'm from Southamerica-, but Puta _Cannot_ be one of them. Either you're getting trolled bigtime -or WE're getting trolled bigtime-, or this has to be the most idiotic spanish name EVER First of all (this is [B]KEY[/B]), where's Puta from??[/QUOTE] I wrote that her name won't be mentioned, and then I immediately gave it away. That wasn't an error; it was my poor attempt at being clever. I prefer to keep her name private.
Holy shit everyone chill, her name isn't really Puta.
[QUOTE=LunchboxOfDoom;23193620]Sell him. They have people who will pay top dollar for children.[/QUOTE] Rated agree.
[QUOTE=urbanmonkey;23193783]Holy shit everyone chill, her name isn't really Puta.[/QUOTE] Rated myself Bad reading... I shouldn't post when I'm sleepy :/
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23193774]I wrote that her name won't be mentioned, and then I immediately gave it away. That wasn't an error; it was my poor attempt at being clever. I prefer to keep her name private.[/QUOTE] You just said "him" a little bit ago... does this little bastard have a dick or a pussy? Or both?
The child seems healthy, he is suitable for a most delicious appetizer (don't forget to add a sprig of basil!)
lol puta
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