• My Family **LONG-ASS POST**
    55 replies, posted
(This thread falls under rant more than any other category, but only the ending is truly a rant). Hello, Facepunch. Howzit going? I just thought I would tell you all about how my family life has been since my parents' little... debacle. I tell my siblings and friends and all, but the whole situation is just so terrible, I feel I must write a quasi-blog for it. It's terribly fucked-up. But to start with, I would just like to say that I do not consider myself unfortunate. I am aware that many people have experienced much worse than what I am going through. I hope I don't come off as a whiny bitch, because I really do appreciate how I am succeeding very well myself. Please don't think this is some search for pity, but at the same time, don't be an asshole who taunts people with problems for their own gain in self-esteem. This story will be very difficult to tell, also, because of how fast things occurred and how everything worked out, so chronology may be... choppy... All right, let's get started. I was the youngest child that my parents had together. I was born to a religious mother and a very individualistic father (which, I believe, are both very admirable traits). However, my time in the womb occurred at a much darker time than my two older siblings (My brother who is six years older than me and my sister who is five years older than me). While I was in the womb, my father left my family for a much younger woman for apparently a few weeks (the time was never specified to me). He knew my mother was pregnant with me, too... He came back and apologized and begged my mother to take him back, but my mother had been too hurt. She said she would stay together for the kids for as long as possible, but would get out as soon as feasible. So, I am born. My parents are still together. My childhood innocence leads me to disregard the problems that my parents are having, and not even really notice them. For three years in a row (2001-2003) we go on three two-week-long trips to Europe in, respective to the years, Greece, Spain, and Italy. I am ten years old in Italy, and by this point I can sense that something is wrong. My siblings can definitely see that my parents' marriage is reaching its end, what with all the arguments, the neglect, and the disinterest. I, however, deny it, trying to think up excuses for my parents' apparent frustration at each other. I cannot find any excuses, though. We get back from Italy. My parents divorce, and my sister and I move into a new neighborhood with my mother. My brother continues to live with my father, since he feels more free to act like a teenager (as I said, my mother is religious). The divorce does not truly ht me, to be honest, and I don't think it ever really has. I just wanted my parents to be happy, and I know it's not my fault that they separated. But still, changes happen. My mother becomes more focused on her faith, and not in a bad way: it's her way of getting over her ex-husband, and it works! Eventually, she comes to stop talking about him and really stop caring about the past, and it's not as if her religion is a crutch, either. She didn't cover up the wound, her religion helped it heal. And during this time, I hold a stable relationship with my father. I see him probably three times every two weeks, and it's nice. Things look up. A few years pass. I think I'm thirteen or fourteen when these next few things happen. My brother is an adult and getting a job before he goes to college (he does soon go to college, by the way.), and my sister is finishing up high school. I'm in middle school. My father slides into depression and physical illness, and can't find a way out... Fuck. My father tries to make amends with my mother. He tells her that he still loves her and wants to be with her. He tries to be a serious man. He tries to be a good Christian. When I'm thirteen or fourteen, my parents remarry. Big mistake. My brother warned my mother. "You're over him. If you get back together with him, you're making a mistake." He was right. My parents remained together for probably a year and a half, and nearly every night, they would argue. I couldn't even tell what the arguments were about! They were simply two very different people, and shouldn't have remarried in the first place. It was hell. My sister was not around very often (either because she moved out or was usually out doing something. I forget which), and so I was alone and listening to my parents fight, with no one to talk to but them, and that wasn't very helpful. Toward the end of it all, my father is rarely home. He sees that it's almost over, and he wants out again. My mother is direly unhappy. I'm confused... Eventually, my father cheats on my mother again. I find out by inadvertently seeing his internet history. He's on a dating website! And you may not think that that's enough evidence, but it doesn't matter: [I]everyone[/I] in the family knows he cheated on my mother during the second marriage. This simple shred of evidence was simply reinforcement... My mother finds out about this one day, I don't remember exactly how. I probably should have told her, though. She calls him up and yells at him that he had better pack up his bags, 'cause he's outta there! I'm sitting upstairs, trying to drown myself in music and homework, but I can't ignore. And why should I? It's important to me. But nobody wants to talk. My mother is too angry and bottling up her feelings, festering. All I can do is sulk. My father comes by, gathers his things, gives me a hug, and leaves. Naturally, they soon divorce... I can't say I'm happy, but I tell myself that they're better off (which they are). But this is not good for me. Afterward, I continue to see my father. It goes this way all the way up to early this year. My sister moves out and up to New Jersey for college (we're from Florida), my brother is already in college in the Southern part of the state. I'm still at home and finishing up high school. I see my father on a weekly basis and we start discussing our philosophies and how we view life and all. I see that I can relate to him better. I am a Christian, but I am not like my mother. She's the typical religious person (not trying to sound mean). I'd prefer to be something of an individual, which I guess I get from my dad. I also occasionally start working for my dad and get paid $9.00 an hour for warehouse work. It's tough, but I get money. During this time, though, my mother is broken. She invests all of her time in her religion, and this time it's not a healing: it's a cover-up. I know this because this time she is completely uninterested in anything, and life at home is like life alone, because she's hardly ever around or is usually keeping to herself. She is under the impression that my siblings and I have abandoned her and taken our father's "side." But that's not how we see it... Come this year. Suddenly my father is getting married and having a child. It's shocking. At first I don't even believe him, because he just calls me up and says "Hey I'm having a kid and getting married. Also I'm about to go into a meeting so, uh, see ya!" What the fuck?! Now, I'm open-minded. I am accepting of new ideas and new things. But a new brother?!?! I'm ambivalent! I have so many emotions! Some good, many more bad. But the worst feeling of all is the feeling that when my mother finds out, things will be out of control... To make a long story short, she learns. And recently, my father got married and the child, named Caesar Luis (for a viable reason), was born. My mother is a wreck. But the worst part is, she hides it! She covers her emotions, believes she is being persecuted, and it's just so horrible. She thinks that I hate her and only love my father, but I didn't even go to the wedding for him. I was considering her. I always consider her. I don't know what she wants me to do. I disagree with my mother so much, but I feel so sorry for her that I have to think of her before I do anything with the family. It's horrible. I practically have to raise myself, because no one agrees on shit and nobody is telling me shit. It's awful. And the worst part is, she blames me. She blames me. I'm the person who is nicest to her. I am nicer than my brother, nicer than my sister, and [I]far[/I] nicer than my father. And yet, she treats me the worst. But it's horrible, because soon I'll be out of the house, and she'll be alone. And she's so stubborn that she will probably always be alone. I can't live my life for her, but she makes me feel like I have to. I have always tried to keep the peace in the family, but there's simply nothing I can do. She refuses to move on. She refuses to leave the past behind. She refuses to accept my opinions or anyone else's. She refuses to accept my empathy for her. She acts like I'm not feeling anything, and it hurts. Do I blame her? No. My dad has done some fucked-up shit to her, and she's been through Hell. But the bottom line is, she needs to accept that the things that happened to her have happened, and the best thing for her is to move on. But I feel that she never will, and her relationship with my brother and sister gets worse all the time, because she doesn't let them speak. It's awful. I feel so horrible. Ugh. All right. That's all I can think of right now. I'm sorry if I came across as some angsty little shit. This is probably a lot worse than it sounds. Thank you for reading this, if you did. I suppose advice would be appreciated, but that's not what I'm here for. Thanks.:\ TL;DR - My family is turning to total shit. [highlight](User was banned for this post ("This is not a thread for general discussion" - verynicelady))[/highlight]
I feel sorry for the OP.
what are we supposed to discuss about [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Didn't read the thread" - Benji))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=radioactive;23577139]Facepunch is not your blog, how hard is it to miss the sticky?[/QUOTE] A boy can rant, can't he? D:
I have a broken family, and I don't put blogs up on Facepunch in total disregards to the stickypost.
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23577187]A boy can rant, can't he? D:[/QUOTE] [url=http://wordpress.org/]No, that's what a blog is for.[/url]
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23577187]A boy can rant, can't he? D:[/QUOTE] Invest in a diary. Blank pieces of paper are probably more interested than the users on a gaming forum.
Yeah both of your parents suck. Anyways, there's absolutely nothing Psychiatrist Facepunch can do for you unless you tell us about your part in all of this. You claim [I]"I have always tried to keep the peace in the family, but there's simply nothing I can do."[/I] but you should probably go into more detail on what you've been trying to do. It really would be nice if things got better, but from reading all of that, the best thing for you to do is just not get involved and probably get excluded from their mess.
Well I dont know, My parents recently divorced also because my mother was having an affair. The best thing I could do was talk to my dad about it and help him throgh his deppression one step at a time.. But if your mom is that stubborn im not sure how to deal with that, Maybe even show her this or tell her how you feel and how she's treating you isnt right.
[QUOTE=FoxMeister;23577211]Invest in a diary. Blank pieces of paper are probably more interested than the users on a gaming forum.[/QUOTE] This.
[QUOTE=Peepee208;23577246]Well I dont know, My parents recently divorced also because my mother was having an affair. The best thing I could do was talk to my dad about it and help him throgh his deppression one step at a time.. But if your mom is that stubborn im not sure how to deal with that, Maybe even show her this or tell her how you feel and how she's treating you isnt right.[/QUOTE] She'll just get angrier.-_-
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23577187]A boy can rant, can't he? D:[/QUOTE] You have a Facebook and a Twitter don't you? Facebook this or condense it into 140 characters.
[QUOTE=MegaChalupa;23577278]You have a Facebook and a Twitter don't you? Facebook this or condense it into 140 characters.[/QUOTE] No, the twitter account is fake.:P
Cut ties with her and your father, live on an island forever, rule a monkey kingdom, sell tickets for people to see them, become millionaire, die.
the maximum status length on facebook is like 200 characters though :v:
That's why we write notes.
[QUOTE=CabooseRvB;23577200]I have a broken family, and I don't put blogs up on Facepunch in total disregards to the stickypost.[/QUOTE] I think he wanted to get it off his chest. Considering the situation I don't blame him.
[QUOTE=MegaJohnny;23577336]I think he wanted to get it off his chest. Considering the situation I don't blame him.[/QUOTE] Then Anonymous Confession awaits.
[QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23577187]A boy can rant, can't he? D:[/QUOTE] This aint no rant, this is a blog.
[QUOTE=radioactive;23577139]Facepunch is not your blog, how hard is it to miss the sticky? [url=http://www.blogger.com/]Might I suggest a free blog at Blogger?[/url][/QUOTE] Shut up and stop being an uptight asshole.
[QUOTE=radioactive;23577361]Then Anonymous Confession awaits.[/QUOTE] I always thought that was for things you did where the subject is taboo, or you otherwise don't want people to know it's you.
[QUOTE=Leaf Runner;23577238]Yeah both of your parents suck. Anyways, there's absolutely nothing Psychiatrist Facepunch can do for you unless you tell us about your part in all of this. You claim [I]"I have always tried to keep the peace in the family, but there's simply nothing I can do."[/I] but you should probably go into more detail on what you've been trying to do. It really would be nice if things got better, but from reading all of that, the best thing for you to do is just not get involved and probably get excluded from their mess.[/QUOTE] By keeping the peace in the family, here's what I mean: I am the most collected person in the family, emotion-wise. Probably my original post doesn't show that, but it takes a lot for my emotions to overtake me. The rest of my family, on the other hand, is bitter or apathetic, and are easily overcome by their feelings. I try to get every person's side of the story. They enjoy telling me things, but they don't usually like hearing me talk. I help people vent, and tell everybody how it really is minus a bias, basically.
[QUOTE=Melnek;23577484]Shut up and stop being an uptight asshole.[/QUOTE] I'm just trying to advise the OP one where he should put writings like this. A blog would be more appropriate. Hell, even a vlog on youtube would work. Although because this story is long it might take up a few videos. [editline]01:41AM[/editline] [QUOTE=Roskarnolkov;23577577]By keeping the peace in the family, here's what I mean: I am the most collected person in the family, emotion-wise. Probably my original post doesn't show that, but it takes a lot for my emotions to overtake me. The rest of my family, on the other hand, is bitter or apathetic, and are easily overcome by their feelings. I try to get every person's side of the story. They enjoy telling me things, but they don't usually like hearing me talk. I help people vent, and tell everybody how it really is minus a bias, basically.[/QUOTE] You could be a psychologist with experience like this.
[QUOTE=radioactive;23577592]I'm just trying to advise the OP one where he should put writings like this. A blog would be more appropriate. Hell, even a vlog on youtube would work. Although because this story is long it might take up a few videos.[/QUOTE] Youtubers are generally assholes. And somebody said I'm just trying to get this off my chest: that's basically it. This is not a frivolous story about how my day went. But thank you for pointing out the sticky to me.
[QUOTE=radioactive;23577592]I'm just trying to advise the OP one where he should put writings like this. A blog would be more appropriate. Hell, even a vlog on youtube would work. Although because this story is long it might take up a few videos.[/QUOTE] Thing about that is, though, nobody would see it. You don't feel like you've vented as much if nobody's heard the story. He could tell his friends about the blog, but it wouldn't spread any further, and his friends probably know most of what's going on anyway. Putting it here ultimately helps him more, since more people see it, and he might just get some helpful advice.
I suppose you're right MegaJohnny.
OP, your dad sounds like the kind of person that can't stick with one woman. Can't keep his dick in his trousers, as my mum's partner would say. I feel sorry for your mum though, she was getting over the break-up with your dad, but it happened all over again and it broke her completely.
[QUOTE=MegaJohnny;23578058]OP, your dad sounds like the kind of person that can't stick with one woman. Can't keep his dick in his trousers, as my mum's partner would say. I feel sorry for your mum though, she was getting over the break-up with your dad, but it happened all over again and it broke her completely.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I know. My mother had also been with another man (this was years ago, before she met my dad). They got married and were together for a few years before he cheated on her and they divorced. That's one of the reasons she isn't looking for anyone, too: she has had bad experiences.
I suddenly feel like reading a book.
[QUOTE=PeanutTHENINJA;23578341]I suddenly feel like reading a book.[/QUOTE] Might I suggest terry pratchett
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