A tumor that could provide the key to making zombies - Polidicks

[quote=Gizmodo] Today a group of medical researchers reported the discovery of something very intriguing in a type of pancreatic cancer called PanNET. Turns out PanNET is associated with mutations in two genes that help control a part of your DNA that determines whether you die. Specifically, these genes can artificially lengthen the telomeres, caps on the ends of chromosomes that gradually erode as you grow older. Above, you can see PanNET cells - the glowing pink bits are the areas where the cancer is causing telomere extension. Usually, short telomeres are associated with disease and death. As a result, some scientists believe that keeping telomeres long could be one way to lengthen life (a few tests in mice seem to back this up). PanNET may have just given us two genetic tools to prolong life. The question is, what would a cancer-extended life be like? Mutations in the genes ATRX and DAXX are responsible for the effect that's intrigued Johns Hopkins Medical Institute researcher Christopher Heaphy and his team. In PanNET cancer, these genes shut down. As a result, the proteins that these genes manufacture no longer keep the telomeres in fighting trim. The telomeres grow wildly in a process called, perhaps unsurprisingly, "Alternative Lengthening of Telomeres." Unfortunately for people suffering PanNET, the extra long telomeres are what keep cancerous genes alive even when they are malfunctioning horribly. That's why it's probably more appropriate to call these cells undead rather than immortal. Yes, they're alive, but they're shambling along and trying to replicate and replace every other cell with a version of themselves. The question is whether researchers like Heaphy could turn this undeath into something more like eternal life. Knowing which genes to shut down in order to allow telomeres to lengthen could be the first step in a process that ends with healthy cells that don't age. The problem is, no one knows for sure whether short telomeres cause aging, or are just a result of some other age clock in the body we haven't yet identified. [/quote] Source: [url]http://gizmodo.com/5817507/a-tumor-that-could-provide-the-key-to-making-zombies[/url]

PanNET? Why would they call a cancer that? It sounds like an ISP or something

I read it as Paint.net

Oh boy here we go...

Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. Honestly, we're throwing science at the wall here. Best case scenario, you gain some superpowers. Worst case scenario, you might get some tumors, which we'll cut out. And become a zombie.

I could go into the biological science of why this won't result in a zombie apocalypse but I just don't feel like it today. And hey, the ones that vehemently deny the possibility of horrible zombification and/or mutilation by zombies will probably be the first to go.

:tinfoil:

[img]http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/zombiecomic_FINAL.jpg[/img]

Are they purposely trying to find out how to make zombies or something?

so basically closer and closer to humans as an ageless being. [editline]1st July 2011[/editline] guys this wont make any zombies, but it does have potential for extending human lifespan

[QUOTE=evilweazel;30837598][img]http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/zombiecomic_FINAL.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] That speaks loads of truth, especially about internet conversations on zombies.

Doesn't matter how long they'll make my cells live, I'll still die to clogged arteries.

It's like mankind is just strolling along looking for the fountain of youth for immortality but if they take one wrong turn, BAM. Zombies everywhere.

Why do scientists keep saying that telomeres are the only factor in death? Undying cells causes cancer, and even if you manage those cells they will still mutate. If they don't mutate, you have cellular senescence.

PanNET sounds like some sort of zombie disease you would read in a book or hear in a movie.

Haha, I'm not worried about a zombie apocalypse, I bought so much phalanx to last me for months, it'll stave off the infections.

Anybody have some zombrex on hand?

[QUOTE=Gubbygub;30838374]PanNET sounds like some sort of zombie disease you would read in a book or hear in a movie.[/QUOTE] Umbrella Corporations: We would like to release our newest product: PanNET! This newest product will grant immortality!

But this has nothing to do with zombies, really.

So it begins.

[QUOTE=lolwutdude;30838384]Haha, I'm not worried about a zombie apocalypse, I bought so much phalanx to last me for months, it'll stave off the infections.[/QUOTE] ahahahahahah yeah and we'll go to Vostok Station ;)

Really interesting

Sweet, i got my double barrel !

Cancer with a possible usefulness?

[QUOTE=carcarcargo;30848620]Cancer with a possible usefulness?[/QUOTE] The plot thickens!

OP saw the word 'undead' in the article (which really shouldn't be there, actually) and saw zombies where there were none.

[QUOTE=Mattk50;30837830]so basically closer and closer to humans as an ageless being. [editline]1st July 2011[/editline] guys this wont make any zombies, but it does have potential for extending human lifespan[/QUOTE] This is always how it starts...

Side effects include groaning and a strong hunger for brains?

[QUOTE=Elecbullet;30837199]PanNET? Why would they call a cancer that? It sounds like an ISP or something[/QUOTE] I read it as Paint.NET, as in the paint application.

[QUOTE=DinoJesus;30839142]Anybody have some zombrex on hand?[/QUOTE] No, but I have the Green Flu in a test tube under my bed.