Peeing like a ninja - General

[img]http://www.abc.es/blogs/elpuntoes/public/ninja.jpg[/img] [img]http://thedirty30.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/low-flow-toilet.jpg[/img] I want to share this fixation of mine with you, my fellow FP'ers, about peeing like a ninja. But what does it mean, you might ask? It just means you have to pee without making a single sound, and doing it fast... y'know, like a ninja probably does. I'm sure they're deadly even when taking a piss. :ninja: Ok so what do I need to know beforehand, in order to pee like a decent ninja? Well, the key factor here is, as you probably guessed by now, the way you pee. You see, it doesn't matter how many ripples (even waves) your pee creates when hitting the toilet water, as long as it's silent. It's the pee splashing, waterfall-like sound. So when you're taking a piss next time, you want to make sure you look for the "zen" spot on your toilet, which is the spot where you point your pee stream to, and you can take a piss without making any loud splashing sounds. You'll notice how your pee flows down your toilet's inner walls and just blends in with the water, creating a nice ripple effect. By the time your bladder is about to run out of piss, just go around that zen spot, until you're done. And that's pretty much all you need to know about peeing like a ninja. Do it silent, do it fast. Tips: There aren't 2 toilets alike. They're all different. A good peeing ninja can see the "zen" spot on the toilet before he even whips out his schlong. So you might want to take 2 seconds max to analyze the toilet before you and think where are you going to point your pee stream to. What about flushing? Well... ninjas don't flush. You gotta be silent, remember? What about the toilet seat, what if the toilet seat is down? Quickly but silently, you get some toilet paper, and then you grab the toilet seat with your hands covered in toilet paper and you put it up. Then you get rid of the toilet paper (quietly). Well I think that pretty much covers it. That's my routine when I use the loo... I pee like a ninja... Now I want you guys to try it out and tell me how it works for ya!

Or just sit while you're at it.

[QUOTE=Hullu V3;18468947]Or just sit while you're at it.[/QUOTE] This is the most reasonable thing i've heard in a while.

Thread delivers! I already practice ninja-peeing myself, happy to hear I wasn't the only one to figure out the "zen-spot" idea.

[QUOTE=Hullu V3;18468947]Or just sit while you're at it.[/QUOTE] Ninjas don't act like little girls...

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;18468970]Ninjas don't act like little girls...[/QUOTE] Nor do they pee.

What the hell did I just read

[QUOTE=Asaratha;18468984]I had to pee while reading this.[/QUOTE] Better clean up before your mum sees what you've done to the carpet.

[QUOTE=Asaratha;18468984]I had to pee [b]while[/b] reading this.[/QUOTE] That's the spirit! Hold your laptop with one arm, and pee with the other You got it! :D

I just pee directly into the water to make it as loud as possible

I am such a good ninja I don't have to pee. It just excretes out my skin pores like sweat.

What possible use would this have in the real world it's utterly pointless.

I do the ninja pee when I don't want to wake my parents.

[QUOTE=-Matt-94;18469026]I am such a good ninja I don't have to pee. It just excretes out my skin pores like sweat.[/QUOTE] The girls must love that :v:

[QUOTE=-Matt-94;18469026]I am such a good ninja I don't have to pee. It just excretes out my skin pores like sweat.[/QUOTE] Surely that smells.

[QUOTE=Boomersocks;18469016]I just pee directly into the water to make it as loud as possible[/QUOTE] I always found that kind of "race horse-like" style of peeing rude.

Real men [I]power piss.[/I]

[QUOTE=Asaratha;18469096]Or you can piss in the shower[/QUOTE] That's a good, ninja way to take a piss also. That'd work too!

I always try to pee as long as possible without an interruption. My record is something around 3 minutes and 38 seconds.

[QUOTE=Elexar;18469172]I always try to pee as long as possible without an interruption. My record is something around 3 minutes and 38 seconds.[/QUOTE] Oh, the "naked gun" style of peeing... your bladder must be the size of a damn watermelon then o.0

[QUOTE=Hullu V3;18468947]Or just sit while you're at it.[/QUOTE] I always do this, because otherwise everything in a 5 meter radius around my dick would get covered in pee...

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;18469195]Oh, the "naked gun" style of peeing... your bladder must be the size of a damn watermelon then o.0[/QUOTE] I didn't say you need to open the valves for 100%, just pee really softly so to speak. You can get awesome reactions if you do this in a heavily visited public toilet.

Ive done this forever pretty much, i thought i was the only one >.>

[QUOTE=Elexar;18469233]I didn't say you need to open the valves for 100%, just pee really softly so to speak.[/QUOTE] That ain't ninja, but I might try that sometime today :D

lol PEE xDDD!!!! desu xD!! so fUnNIE XD

[QUOTE=Drasnus;18469072]Real men [I]power piss.[/I][/QUOTE] Powerthirst.

just hit the stone bowl part, you want make so much as a splash.

[QUOTE=Fps_Deffy;18469253]Ive done this forever pretty much, i thought i was the only one >.>[/QUOTE] You are not alone, my friend :ninja:

I usually pee like a :ninja: when I'm at night or very early. [editline]04:06PM[/editline] Hell, I do it anyways, It's just the silence that gets to me when you take a piss.

Easier way to do it. Take a wad of toilet paper, drop it in so it's on the wall of the toilet. (Not in the middle where it will get a puddle ontop of it.) It will mute the noise of your stream, even more than just peeing at the wall. Now you can kill with the deadly scilence of your wizz taking.