A Poem About Life. - General

I wrote this poem last week while sitting in class, and everyone seems to love it, but you know how it is with people you know when you ask their opinion about anything you make "Ohh, it's beautiful, I love it" "Oh it's so amazing" "It's great!". Basically all praise and no criticism. So I figured I'd ask you guys what you think, since you have no reason not to give an honest opinion. If you give your opinion, I'd like to know what you did and did not like about it, although keep in mind I don't think I'll work on this anymore. Yes, it is a first attempt at poetry, and I know it has no meter, but I felt like it was the message that really mattered. Life Growing old Is being told That the end is drawing near Despite any apprehension or fear Choices are running out Opportunities slipping away It makes you want to scream and shout As if you were dying, day by day But what makes our time An expenditure so sublime Is that it does not last forever So treasure what you have, and waste it never Friendship There's nothing better than a friend But I must inform you, with much chagrin That sadly, all good things must end Before you know it, you're strangers again FEAR Of all emotions The rawest is fear For despite all devotions Your confidence it will shear Fear turns a closet Into a dark deposit Where monsters hide And dark dreams reside It makes a cool night Into a deadly fright A gently swaying oak Into a murderer, ready to choke But fear exists only in your head Sitting there, filling you with dread So tell me, dear, What do you fear? Mistakes We all make mistakes Some are big as lakes Others are puddle-sized, Soon dried and not despised Although I must say At the end of the day It's not the size of the fault that really matters But whether you face it, or you're one who scatters Because mistakes aren't completely bad For no matter what wrong you commit There is a reason to be glad Since you can always learn from it

Catchy. I like it.

More like a bunch of haikus

Pretty catchy. I only have one issue with it. Instead of starting 1, 2, 1, 2 and continuing like that it goes 1212 1122 1212. Still better than I could do though.

Pretty Catchy. I couldn't write poems...nt If it was my life That was dependent on it splife.

twilight sucks

So you guys like it? or is the praise people have been giving undeserved? Also, if you'd like me to post some of the other poems I've written, I will.

[QUOTE=Dustins;25148353]Also, if you'd like me to post some of the other poems I've written, I will.[/QUOTE] Post your other ones. Worst that'll happen is some troll comes in and tries to offend you. Best that'll happen is everyone loves it.

Updated OP with the rest of what I've done so far. Hope you like it.

[QUOTE=Dustins;25147661] Friendship There's nothing better than a friend But I must inform you, with much chagrin That sadly, all good things must end Before you know it, you're strangers again FEAR Of all emotions The rawest is fear For despite all devotions Your confidence it will shear Fear turns a closet Into a dark deposit Where monsters hide And dark dreams reside It makes a cool night Into a deadly fright A gently swaying oak Into a murderer, ready to choke But fear exists only in your head Sitting there, filling you with dread So tell me, dear, What do you fear? [/QUOTE] These are my personal favorites. Although FEAR still does the 1212 1122 1122 1122 thing like LIFE does. Although it's not near as bad since it's just the first part that is different.

Eh, I'm just glad I manage to rhyme at all while still saying something intelligible. I'm less focused on the technical details than the actual message of them. Also, on a side note, you talk about rhyme schemes using letters, not numbers, but how you put it gets the point across just fine.

[QUOTE=Dustins;25182928]Eh, I'm just glad I manage to rhyme at all while still saying something intelligible. I'm less focused on the technical details than the actual message of them. Also, on a side note, you talk about rhyme schemes using letters, not numbers, but how you put it gets the point across just fine.[/QUOTE] I'm sure that's the way to do it, I'm just not much of a poet myself so I haven't really gotten into them. And I can agree with the message thing. Just bugs me when a poem doesn't rhyme, personally.