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I was angry, forgot about the build up and the fact that the 100 MG tablets of Morphine I was taking were time released. I spent the night at my friend Emily's house because I had gotten into a fight with my mother. I don't recall how much I had taken but I was on the downside of 3 day binge of popping left and right.
We were watching some movie, I pass out. Next thing I can remember is being in the dark, wet, fiery place. It was some sort of battlefield. I remember being ripped from position to position. It was like my body was being torn apart and used in different places as part of this grand war machine and I could feel everything.
Now, I know it was just the drugs and my mind. A construct of my subconscious and my philosophical view of hell.
I woke up every now and then with a tube down my throat, in extreme pain. Every time I awoke a different friend or family member was to my right crying. One thing that stands out in my mind was this girl Dannielle holding my hand and crying uncontrollably. Which, frankly I don't understand she shot me down about a year earlier and until about 2 weeks or so ago, we hadn't even really spoken.
Here's my advice, the advice of someone who has been there. I know you're not going to quit using, hell the first thing I did when I got home today was pop a 15 mg tab, but that's more for me getting off the stuff. But hear(err, read) me! Watch the amount, watch what you mix it with and if you're not already addicted, STOP RIGHT FUCKING NOW! It was hell I was only in for 3 days, I was walking around by the end of the night on the first, I had ninja'd out to make a call and smoke a cigarette. But still, the whole experience was hell and now my whole family knows I'm a fucking junkie. And I had a psychologist threaten to Baker Act me into a rehab. Fuck that shit.
I'm sorry, I'll proofread this in a bit...
:( I hope it works out for you
Oh, thanks bro. I'll be fine though. My biggest concern right now is getting this damned adhesive off.
Damn that sucks, glad you're okay.
The worst thing about this experience for me, would be the fact that all people who knew about it would know about the addiction.
Just go 1 day on 3 days off.
I've had small incursions into opiate addiction but I always try my best not to get too attached. I'm sorry to hear that you still haven't managed to give up.
Levakama, once you get to a certain stage with addiction it's impossible to keep it from anyone. Being secretly pinned around family is a hard thing to maintain.
I wish you the best of luck Kronik. You should post on [url]www.bluelight.ru[/url] in the dark side as they always have great advice.
I wish you the best of luck, mate. That must have been one shitty experience.
That was an incredible read, thank you.
Props to having the willpower to call it quits, it's a shame some people lack that.
Woah... I can only imagine what it was like (and even then, I'm sure I don't have the faintest idea).
Glad you are ok now. Really sucks that everyone knows now, because even if you come clean you'll have the stigma of being a "junkie". (it's bad enough when people call me a stoner)
yeah, you dont wanna be baker acted. been there, done that.
also locking you in a facility for 3 days with a bunch of other crazy fucking people doesn't fix people. i begged them to let me go outside. i felt like the only normal one there. even the nurses were crazy as fuck.
Well if I did any drug,even if it was not addictive and accidentally overdosed,everyone would view me as junkie.
Id hate that.
[QUOTE=Kronik;23120475]if you're not already addicted, STOP RIGHT FUCKING NOW![/QUOTE]
no.
oh. had those before...hell visions and feelings.
you get used to it :)
[QUOTE=revrend_slapaho;23131975]oh. had those before...hell visions and feelings.
you get used to it :)[/QUOTE]
You OD often?
[QUOTE=GerardV2;23130380][url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?p=22853625#post22853625[/url]
...Lol[/QUOTE]
I was under the impression this was a small sub-forum and most knew about that. What happened last week was a small lapse. I was getting clean and then it went right down the shitter.
And thanks for all of your support. :h:
That sucks dude well at least heaven and hell arn't real. You just die and are dead.
[QUOTE=Kronik;23132487]
And thanks for all of your support. :h:[/QUOTE]
One of us, man <3
[QUOTE=jgerm529;23139694]That sucks dude well at least heaven and hell arn't real. You just die and are dead.[/QUOTE]
Dem religions be trickin' us 'ta givin' 'em moneys for jus' speakin' bullshit.
[QUOTE=Cookiemonster93;23139940]Dem religions be trickin' us 'ta givin' 'em moneys for jus' speakin' bullshit.[/QUOTE]
Wtf? lol I never said that.
[editline]09:51PM[/editline]
well its sorta true but thats besides the point haha
I don't feel bad for you, but I also don't think you deserved it.
All I can say is good luck, and kiss your privacy goodbye.
[QUOTE=LasGunz;23132231]You OD often?[/QUOTE]
well kinda borderline OD
i live risky like that sometimes
I've borderline OD'd once. When I had low tolerance to opiates I took a pretty large dose and slipped into a bizarre dream world occasionally coming to and gasping for air.
[QUOTE=brianosaur;23126136]also locking you in a facility for 3 days with a bunch of other crazy fucking people doesn't fix people. i begged them to let me go outside. i felt like the only normal one there. even the nurses were crazy as fuck.[/QUOTE]
Been there. Shit really isn't fun
[QUOTE=Dan The Man;23147420]I've borderline OD'd once. When I had low tolerance to opiates I took a pretty large dose and slipped into a bizarre dream world occasionally coming to and gasping for air.[/QUOTE]
i was in this state before where my whole life flashing through my eyes and words that keep popping up that are so bizarre that i can't even say it
[QUOTE=Kyle v2;23142465]I don't feel bad for you, but I also don't think you deserved it.
All I can say is good luck, and kiss your privacy goodbye.[/QUOTE]
I'm not asking for anyone's sympathy, not saying it isn't appreciated. I'm just sharing an experience.
My privacy will remain intact. I'll be in(if I even go) rehab for 10 days max. I'm not a hardcore junkie. I just had a shitty week.
[editline]08:57PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Dan The Man;23147420]I've borderline OD'd once. When I had low tolerance to opiates I took a pretty large dose and slipped into a bizarre dream world occasionally coming to and gasping for air.[/QUOTE]
That happens all the time when to me using morphine, not the gasping for air part though. But slipping in and out of consciousness. Off to lala land.
Oh, I wanna use now.
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