This happened about a few days ago and I thought it would be a good cautionary tale for any lonely guys out there. So, I'm a socially awkward 33 year old, my last serious relationship was when I was 21. Now the main reason why I'm lonely isn't so much my looks but my personality. I'm what the internet would call a "beta" male or a nice guy. Apparently in today's society being nice or helpful is considered weak and undiserable, well unfortunately my brain isn't wired like a douchebag. So not only being lonely is a big factor of my life but also my lack of sexual encounters. I consider myself a very horny, testrone filled person. Mentally one might call me beta but physically I'm definitely an alpha when I'm horny. I'm pretty much like Dr. Jekyell and Mr. Hyde; if I don't masturbate I start to think irrationally I start becoming some kind of other person.
A few days ago when I had a day off from work I started to feel that desperation for sex going across my body. My dark passenger was taking over and instead of looking at porn or spending my money on cam models like I normally do, I chose to go in my car and travel to altanic city (I live pretty close to altantic city about 40). As I was driving my heart was pounding and I had a raging erection, my goal was to find a prositiue, something I've never done. It was like if all the other parts of my brain shut down and the only one working was my sex drive. When I arrived it was late and for some reason I couldn't find one except for this tall overweight black woman that was standing next to a bus stop. It was obvious she was a hooker but of course the only hooker I see is the ugliest and dirtiest person I've ever seen in my whole life. She was wearing short shorts, a leather jacket and for some reason fingerless gloves. Her makeup looked horrible but again remember I'm in animal mode and I didn't drive all the way here to not get anything. I pulled the car over and she jumped in without any hesitation whatsoever. She had a voice like she's been smoking cigarettes her whole life, she said "so what are you looking for honey?" Immediately my social awakwardness kicked in and I started to panic and as I was about to say something she said "blowjob?" and i shook my head yes. I started to drive and she started to give me directions for a nice discreet spot.
I tried making small talk and it kind of worked she even ended up calling me sweet. This gave me fuel to feed my current alpha state and now I'm back to being horny again. We ended up going to this parking lot that was rather empty and I was now ready. I take off my seatbelt and i begin to unzip my pants only to notice some weird shape in the corner of my eye. I look to the right and I shit you not there's a big fat black cock, hard as a rock. She looks at me and says "come on baby" I start to panic and I could feel one of my panic attacks blooming. My alpha state has now died and the nice gentleman guy now took over. She looks confused on why nothing is going and about 10 seconds later she starts to cry. For some reason here crying scared the shit out of me, she started saying "is it because I'm ugly? It's okay just go back and drop me off." Whenever I see a woman cry I always try to comfort them. I try to explain she's not ugly that in fact she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She stopped crying and as I was about to explain how I'm just not into transsexuals she ends up kissing me. I didn't want to push her off because I didn't want her to cry and i didn't want her to get angry (she's taller than me and wider) She grabs the back of my hair on my head and forces my face onto her crotch. I didn't even have time to resist.... well to shorten the story a bit I ended up sucking my first dick. When I got home I was depressed and even contpleted suicide.
The worst part was that I ended up giving her my number because before I left she asked for it and if you know anything about me, I never say no to a woman. I even texted her back because I don't want to hurt her feelings. She already set up a date for applebees in 3 days and although I don't want to go, if you know anything about me I never decline a woman's offer. That's the downside of being a nice guy I guess. I seriously don't know what to do guys I haven't slept since the encounter and I can't get the taste of dick out of my mouth? Should I go to Applebee's and tell her this just won't work out. I thought about telling her I'm gay but she has a dick. I would love any advice.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Get a big fat blog" - Craptasket))[/highlight]
oh boy
[editline]e[/editline]
you gotta go to applebee's and give her the succ
we've all been there
Sorry but your story is hilarious
I'd say meet them cos sex with trans is pretty hot (but I never fucked a obese black trans) just control the situation and don't do anything your not comfortable with
it's now or never man - accept you love shemales or be known as a fucking liar.
give me her number
this happened to me last week
i just accepted that i am now gay
[QUOTE=NightmareX91;51888984]this happened to me last week
i just accepted that i am now gay[/QUOTE]
I'm not black though
[QUOTE=Headhumpy;51888997]I'm not black though[/QUOTE]
wait what the fuck it was you?
[QUOTE=NightmareX91;51889023]wait what the fuck it was you?[/QUOTE]
you betcha
I'm not gay I can guarantee you, I'm not homophobic either. I've worked for grassroots and I have an uncle who's gay. The gayest thing ive ever done was give my friend a handjob when we were 13, I didn't know what I was doing. I live with that everyday so please stop calling me gay I thought I graduated from high school and college
[QUOTE=sketler;51889053]I'm not gay I can guarantee you, I'm not homophobic either. I've worked for grassroots and I have an uncle who's gay. The gayest thing ive ever done was give my friend a handjob when we were 13, I didn't know what I was doing. I live with that everyday so please stop calling me gay I thought I graduated from high school and college[/QUOTE]
well I graduated from high school and college as well and I'm gay as fuck
[QUOTE=sketler;51889053]I'm not gay I can guarantee you, I'm not homophobic either. I've worked for grassroots and I have an uncle who's gay. The gayest thing ive ever done was give my friend a handjob when we were 13, I didn't know what I was doing. I live with that everyday so please stop calling me gay I thought I graduated from high school and college[/QUOTE]
Look dude, assuming the story you told is even remotely true, let's assess some facts.
1) You gave your friend a handy at 13.
2) The sudden appearance of a Lochness Monster in the edge of your mental porno shoot wasn't enough of a deal breaker for you to GTFO
3) You gave a black trans prostitute the good succ
4) So good she gave you her number
5) You haven't been with a woman in more than a decade
6) The last time you came even remotely close to bouncing your bangarang off another human being, according to you, was when George W. Bush was in Office.
Let's face the facts buddy. The reason this is even a moral dilemma for you isn't because you're a nice-guy-beta-egg-shell-milquetoast-whatever. It's 'cause you got a hankering for some steady dick that you've been denying for a good long time now.
[QUOTE=sketler;51889053]I'm not gay I can guarantee you, I'm not homophobic either. I've worked for grassroots and I have an uncle who's gay. The gayest thing ive ever done was give my friend a handjob when we were 13, I didn't know what I was doing. I live with that everyday so please stop calling me gay I thought I graduated from high school and college[/QUOTE]
You sucked a dick and you're ready to go on another date and if you think the same situation isn't going to come up you're delusional. If you don't like dick, don't date someone with a dick.
[QUOTE=Crazy Ivan;51889092]Look dude, assuming the story you told is even remotely true, let's assess some facts.
1) You gave your friend a handy at 13.
2) The sudden appearance of a Lochness Monster in the edge of your mental porno shoot wasn't enough of a deal breaker for you to GTFO
3) You gave a black trans prostitute the good succ
4) So good she gave you her number
5) You haven't been with a woman in more than a decade
6) The last time you came even remotely close to bouncing your bangarang off another human being, according to you, was when George W. Bush was in Office.
Let's face the facts buddy. The reason this is even a moral dilemma for you isn't because you're a nice-guy-beta-egg-shell-milquetoast-whatever. It's 'cause you got a hankering for some steady dick that you've been denying for a good long time now.[/QUOTE]
I disagree that's more like sexual abuse, my friend took advantage of me and I didn't know what was going on. He pretty much started to give me a blowjob and since I wouldn't finish he told me he'll tell my dad unless I give him a handjob. I don't understand why people are so sick and think a few incidents automatically make you into this one thing. I'm attracted to women end of story.
either you're a long con
or a hilariously repressed gay person
[QUOTE=Jarokwa;51889138]this guy's post history has a few gems in it.[/QUOTE]
just reminds me of [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m-_kutqgDk]this song[/url]
beta phaggot
[QUOTE=sketler;51889131]I disagree that's more like sexual abuse, my friend took advantage of me and I didn't know what was going on. He pretty much started to give me a blowjob and since I wouldn't finish he told me he'll tell my dad unless I give him a handjob. I don't understand why people are so sick and think a few incidents automatically make you into this one thing. I'm attracted to women end of story.[/QUOTE]
bruh
[url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1258271[/url]
[QUOTE=You]
I use to love musicals, and when all the boys would play with toy armies; I would fantasize about cock. I use to hide it by getting a girlfriend, when I was in middle school. Unfortunately that didn't fool anyone,the girl I dated was a Mexican and she had a faded mustache.
[/QUOTE]
bruh
[QUOTE=You]
I can't even have sex because the last time I got laid I just imagined her face to be Adam Sander. It was like I was fucking Jill from Jack and Jill. I would thrust so hard and sweat so much that my partner has to snap me out of it. Is this some inner demons I'm battling? Maybe Adam Sandler is my dark passenger? Maybe I'm subconsciously gay for Sandler and I'm trying to hide it with rage? I need less questions and more answers.
[/QUOTE]
Don't worry. Facepunch will always support you, gay or not.
[QUOTE=Jarokwa;51889138]this guy's post history has a few gems in it.[/QUOTE]
I could've sworn that was the premise of a 4chan copypasta at some point. I say he's a long con trying to get some laughs.
is this the best thread of 2017
[QUOTE=Fox Powers;51889286]is this the best thread of 2017[/QUOTE]
it's a pretty mediocre thread in comparison to the model thread
im more impressed you wrote this entire thing on an iphone
good job man
OMG this is hillarious
I knew I was in for a treat when I saw you talking about alpha males and beta males and being a nice guy
I'm going to assume this is just a joke because it's too absurd, and stereotypical, and you're too absurd as a person :v:
All of this account's posts pretty much prove it's a troll account, come on guys. Don't take the obvious bait :dog:
I almost went to a brothel when I was in Germany and after reading this I'm glad I didn't.
[QUOTE=Durandal;51889277]I could've sworn that was the premise of a 4chan copypasta at some point. I say he's a long con trying to get some laughs.[/QUOTE]
Absurdity aside he claimed to be 28 years old in his thread from 2012, 33 years old in a post from 2013, and 33 years old now in 2017. So yeah, kind of an obvious one.
That's really funny to me OP because this happened about a few days ago and I thought it would be a good cautionary tale for any lonely guys out there. So, I'm a socially awkward 33 year old, my last serious relationship was when I was 21. Now the main reason why I'm lonely isn't so much my looks but my personality. I'm what the internet would call a "beta" male or a nice guy. Apparently in today's society being nice or helpful is considered weak and undiserable, well unfortunately my brain isn't wired like a douchebag. So not only being lonely is a big factor of my life but also my lack of sexual encounters. I consider myself a very horny, testrone filled person. Mentally one might call me beta but physically I'm definitely an alpha when I'm horny. I'm pretty much like Dr. Jekyell and Mr. Hyde; if I don't masturbate I start to think irrationally I start becoming some kind of other person.
A few days ago when I had a day off from work I started to feel that desperation for sex going across my body. My dark passenger was taking over and instead of looking at porn or spending my money on cam models like I normally do, I chose to go in my car and travel to altanic city (I live pretty close to altantic city about 40). As I was driving my heart was pounding and I had a raging erection, my goal was to find a prositiue, something I've never done. It was like if all the other parts of my brain shut down and the only one working was my sex drive. When I arrived it was late and for some reason I couldn't find one except for this tall overweight black woman that was standing next to a bus stop. It was obvious she was a hooker but of course the only hooker I see is the ugliest and dirtiest person I've ever seen in my whole life. She was wearing short shorts, a leather jacket and for some reason fingerless gloves. Her makeup looked horrible but again remember I'm in animal mode and I didn't drive all the way here to not get anything. I pulled the car over and she jumped in without any hesitation whatsoever. She had a voice like she's been smoking cigarettes her whole life, she said "so what are you looking for honey?" Immediately my social awakwardness kicked in and I started to panic and as I was about to say something she said "blowjob?" and i shook my head yes. I started to drive and she started to give me directions for a nice discreet spot.
I tried making small talk and it kind of worked she even ended up calling me sweet. This gave me fuel to feed my current alpha state and now I'm back to being horny again. We ended up going to this parking lot that was rather empty and I was now ready. I take off my seatbelt and i begin to unzip my pants only to notice some weird shape in the corner of my eye. I look to the right and I shit you not there's a big fat black cock, hard as a rock. She looks at me and says "come on baby" I start to panic and I could feel one of my panic attacks blooming. My alpha state has now died and the nice gentleman guy now took over. She looks confused on why nothing is going and about 10 seconds later she starts to cry. For some reason here crying scared the shit out of me, she started saying "is it because I'm ugly? It's okay just go back and drop me off." Whenever I see a woman cry I always try to comfort them. I try to explain she's not ugly that in fact she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She stopped crying and as I was about to explain how I'm just not into transsexuals she ends up kissing me. I didn't want to push her off because I didn't want her to cry and i didn't want her to get angry (she's taller than me and wider) She grabs the back of my hair on my head and forces my face onto her crotch. I didn't even have time to resist.... well to shorten the story a bit I ended up sucking my first dick. When I got home I was depressed and even contpleted suicide.
The worst part was that I ended up giving her my number because before I left she asked for it and if you know anything about me, I never say no to a woman. I even texted her back because I don't want to hurt her feelings. She already set up a date for applebees in 3 days and although I don't want to go, if you know anything about me I never decline a woman's offer. That's the downside of being a nice guy I guess. I seriously don't know what to do guys I haven't slept since the encounter and I can't get the taste of dick out of my mouth? Should I go to Applebee's and tell her this just won't work out. I thought about telling her I'm gay but she has a dick. I would love any advice.
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