[quote]
TRENDING: Breaking (sort of): Colbert pulls out of race
(CNN) - Following his big rally endorsing Herman Cain for president in South Carolina last week, comedian Stephen Colbert announced Monday he was calling it quits.
"My fellow Americans of South Carolina: While your turnout on Saturday was historic, unfortunately–and no one could have predicted this–Herman Cain did not win the South Carolina primary," Colbert said on his Comedy Central show.
He added: "So it is with a heavy heart and a spastic colon, that I am re-suspending Herman Cain's suspended campaign."
Colbert had tried to get his name on the Palmetto State ballot, but since he missed the November filing deadline and because the state doesn't allow write-in votes, Colbert urged supporters to vote for the former Godfather's Pizza executive in his stead.
Cain suspended his campaign last month but his name remained on the ballot.
The faux TV news host also announced plans to end his own short-lived White House bid, saying he was shutting down the presidential exploratory committee he started nearly two weeks ago - members of which, he joked, included Henry Kissinger, a "super intelligent" ferret, the iPhone software Siri, and a roll of quarters.
"So now that my exploration has come to an end, who knows what I'm going to do. Maybe I'll be like Herman Cain and hit the road in a bus with my face on it," Colbert said. "Maybe I'll hit the road in a bunch of tiny cars, each with a different part of my face on it."[/quote]
[url]http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/24/breaking-sort-of-colbert-pulls-out-of-race/[/url]
Well who am I supposed to fake vote for now?
Ah fuck it, Mickey Mouse 2012 [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3664177/emot-patriot.gif[/img]
At least we still have the Colbert Report.
Write in vote fuck it.
I friggin' called it when they was said he's running! Somebody owes me fifty bucks now.
[QUOTE=Stonecycle;34381843]I friggin' called it when they was said he's running! Somebody owes me fifty bucks now.[/QUOTE]Please introduce me to your friend who makes horrible and ill-advised bets.
[QUOTE=Stonecycle;34381843]I friggin' called it when they was said he's running! Somebody owes me fifty bucks now.[/QUOTE]
whoever owes you money must be missing a chromosome or two
[quote]
Dear Super PAC Super People,
Hey, it's Jon again. As you know, a while back, I took over this Super PAC so that my friend and business partner Stephen Colbert could explore possibly running for President of the United States of America of South Carolina (maybe).
Unfortunately, he never connected with voters, despite nearly a week of part-time campaigning, culminating in a massive rally at the College of Charleston.
Now, Stephen's exploratory phase is over. And like most exploratory phases, it was strange, awkward, and ended not long after he left campus.
Today he asked me if he if he could retake control of The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC. I told him, with all due respect, to go take a long walk off a short go-fuck-yourself.
Are you kidding me? This thing is a pile of money, sitting on top of a heap of cash, sitting on top of a mountain of moolah. And I'm going to spend it. But in a legal, responsible way. For example, I just bought a jaguar! And I'm going to buy that jaguar its own Jaguar, and teach it to drive me around!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go – my official Super PAC Private Zeppelin is about to land and the pilot told me I have to turn off all electronic devices. Which sucks, I was about to score a bingo on Words With Friends. Oh, the H-U-M-A-N-I-T-Y!
In conclusion: I'm rich! Rich, I tell you, rich!
Jon Stewart
President For Life For Ever
The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC [/quote]
Damn it Jon Stewart and your Daily Show [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3664177/emot-argh.gif[/img]
Patrick Star 2012.
He'll take our problems and push them somewhere else.
Welp it seems our only option is Vermin Supreme 2012
[QUOTE=alexguydude;34382319]Welp it seems our only option is Vermin Supreme 2012[/QUOTE]
He's more sane than the republican candidates.
[QUOTE=7DeadlySyns;34382716]He's more sane than the republican candidates.[/QUOTE]
I agree, his dental policy makes a lot of sense when you think about it.
[QUOTE=alexguydude;34382319]Welp it seems our only option is Vermin Supreme 2012[/QUOTE]
My only disagreement with him is his pony policy, I believe giving 10 D batteries to every family of 3+ every 2 weeks would be a much better use of the resources. Those things are never around when you need them
