Just writing a short story about a crazy fuckin pyromaniac, enjoy.
Sinister, a word that brings many images to mind: demons, devils, omens, and less often, something that is on the left. In this case, it is used to describe Eddy Evans, or more commonly known around his neighborhood as "Mr. Sparks". From the day he began to be called Mr. Sparks, everyone would say they knew from the day he was born "he was never right in the head". Starting when he was five, Eddy had a fascination with fire, or more specifically, explosives. This started when he found his stepfather's black and green lighter in the drawer of his mother's cherrywood nightstand, as his stepfather had moved in a few weeks prior. He poked and prodded at the lighter, not quite knowing what it was. Being well-mannered for his age, he put the lighter back in the nightstand, and ran off to play elsewhere.
Not a day later, he saw his stepfather with the same black and green lighter. That was how he discovered how to use the lighter, watching his stepfather roll his finger across the spark wheel and hit the stone, and a seemingly magic flame sparking out of the lighter. He was frightened by the flame at first, but then his curiosity began to grow. One day when he was home alone, he found his stepfather's spare lighter in the same nightstand, and repeated what his stepfather had done.
The first try, nothing happened, except a few sparks here and there, and the second time, the same. The third try, however, the lighter shot sparks up and a flame immediately grew to an immense size, before shrinking to its normal size. The sudden, hot flame made Eddy flinch, but then he began to like the flame, "warm up" to the flame, if you will. He had known what fire was, but this was something entirely new. This was fire he could control himself, and this feeling of power, at only five years old, excited him. He would go into his parents' room everyday afterschool, and play with the lighter until he was eight years old, until there was an accident.
This was the first time in three years he decided to do something risky with the lighter. He went into his bedroom and pulled old, graded school papers out of his backpack, and began to burn them there on his carpet. Carpet alone isn't too flammable if even at all, however paper is. The fire began to grow, enveloping Eddy with firey air, and casting an orange glow onto his face. Smoke gathered on the ceiling, clouding the lightbulb and dimming the room. Eddy was mesmerized by the beautiful flame, with it's firey tongues lashing at the air. He heard a noise. Keys jangling, and wood creaking. His parents were home.
Immediately, he tried to put the fire out. Within seconds he realized his efforts were futile
So far so good. The descriptions are ok and I'm interested enough to read more. I don't really read novels but to an untrained eye its fine.
These are all just suggestions for your considerations. Obviously it's never a good idea to just take someones opinion and follow it to the letter. Even if you do want to try something I suggest, attempt to modify it even slightly to make it your own when possible. Anyways:
I don't like "began to be called Mr. Sparks", try "earned the name" or something similar. Also don't use "From the day he began to..." and "from the day he was born" in the same sentence.
The description of "and a seemingly magic flame" is a bit dry. What makes it seem magic? Perhaps "... hit the stone, conjuring a twinkling flame, as if by magic." You get the idea, spice it up a bit.
Once again avoid repetition, in this case 'size'. "...to an immense size..." and "normal size". Try to change one of those phrases.
"...he began to like the flame..." also sounds dry, try something else. It might make the "warm up" pun a little less cringeworthy as well (as is it doesn't quite fit the tone of this bland by-the-book narrator)
Try changing "He had known what fire was" to "He had known of fire before now, but..." once again just try to keep things fresh.
"...at only five years old, excited him." As usual very boring, describe his excitement.
You bring in the accident quite suddenly, try to lead into it with a bit more weight, instead of just "oh and then there was an accident. Try something like "He would go into his parents' room every day after school, and play with the lighter, until one day, when he was eight, there was an accident." It just makes it a touch more important, if you can take it beyond that level please do.
I can't imagine being enveloped in "fiery air", try smoke and replace 'Smoke' in the next sentence with 'It' instead.
Honestly the main issue is that it lacks flourish, it's extremely dry as far as description is concerned. I think it would be best to make things more 'fancy' simply because otherwise it downplays the significance of the events. You make him burning down his house seem like any other chore, taking out the mail perhaps. There's good effort in some places like "with it's firey tongues lashing at the air" but it isn't consistent enough to flow well for me.
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