Drunk dude performs CPR on a dead possum. - Polidicks

[url=http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10085/1045894-100.stm]Sauce.[/url] [quote]Police said a man will be charged with public drunkenness after a witnesses saw him attempting mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on a road-killed opossum. State police said they charged Donald Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, Jefferson County, after they arrived at the scene on Route 36 in Oliver Township around 3 p.m. Thursday. Trooper Jamie Levier said several witnesses saw Mr. Wolfe near the animal. The trooper said one person saw Mr. Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance, while another saw the mouth-to-mouth attempt. Trooper Levier said Wolfe was "extremely intoxicated" and "did have his mouth in the area of the animal's mouth, I guess."[/quote] :wtc:

What the fuck.

He just wanted to save the possum's life.

[QUOTE=MisterMooth;20991762]He just wanted to save the possum's life.[/QUOTE] Yeah, what's wrong with that?

The image of a drunk man breaking down and getting all hysterical after failing to resuscitate a possum on the road side, is fucking hilarious.

Sure the lil' beast wasn't playing possum?

Or he was a furry, and was kissing the possum..

Oh god I wish I could have seen this in person, I would of died of laughter.

this is hilarious

you don't tend to do shit like that when you're drunk though, hallucinogens perhaps

[quote]"did have his mouth in the area of the animal's mouth, I guess."[/quote] Thank god for that.

:wtc:

At least he wasn't trying to give the possum a farewell bj.

:geno:

[QUOTE=Mavericks;20992099]Or he was a furry, and was kissing the possum..[/QUOTE] It was delicious... And the only reason it was roadkill is because it dumped me :smith:

:wtc:

Necrozoophilia?

[QUOTE=AnEvilGuy;20994389]Necrozoophilia?[/QUOTE] Somewhere a person is wanking to this news.

Dont make fun of me, I was only trying to save my only friend

wonder how he'll react when he cant remember what happened while he was drunk and they tell him what he did

Eugh.

[QUOTE=cameleot;21000560]Eugh.[/QUOTE] I know, i wish i was that guy :( lucky possum

[QUOTE=Canuhearme?;20995346]Somewhere a person is wanking to this news.[/QUOTE] How did you know?!? :ninja: Uhh... I mean, yeah... probably...

snip

i feel bad for the possum.

[QUOTE=JoeSkylynx;20993921]It was delicious... And the only reason it was roadkill is because it dumped me :smith:[/QUOTE] What's with you furries on here who have to express their furfagdom in every single post.

First title in a while that actually made me splurt my drink in laughter! :insert wierd monster spitting coffee gif please:

This man deserves a medal, not a thread.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! lol

[QUOTE=Roof;20991785]Yeah, what's wrong with that?[/QUOTE] Well, the same amount of force that is required to perform CPR on a human's chest could be enough to crush the little guy's chest - so if he wasn't dead before, he's dead now. (Considering he was too drunk to know the difference)