Untitled short story - General

So basically, I gave myself a time limit of 30 minutes to write a short story in. Here's the result. Protagonist - Scott Taggart Protagonist mk.2? - Flynn McTavish Antagonist - Sergey Karishnakov Russia. Home of the ex-soviet union, and the world's former largest super-power. Russia. An ex-communist state in Northern Europe. Russia. A cold, bleak, shithole. Gunnery sargeant Scott Taggart pulled a piece of dehydrated beef from his breast pocket and handed it to his spotter, grabbed another for himself then resumed his ritual of being very, very still. The pair had been hiding inside the abandoned town for 4 days now, setting up in the church belltower and lying in wait for their prey. Sergey Karishnakov, alias "The Dark Knight". One of the world's most wanted men, and notorious arms dealer to almost every thug and milita force in every third-world ass-backward country on the globe. The prey. The last man to have an assasination ordered on him by the united states government in a long, long time. Scott analysed the picture again, as he'd been doing for the 4 days, and several days before that. Not only would eliminating him make the world slightly safer, he'd get a nice bonus too. The private sector of the military may not be involved in everything, but dammit the pay was better, and being allowed to use any weapon commercially available was a nice perk too. He put the picture down and studied the terrain through the scope of his MacMillan TAC-50 sniper rifle. The rifle used the same bullet as the M2 Browning machine gun, and even at 2000 yards would hit with more force than a .44 magnum at point blank. If you want to kill someone, you've gotta do it right. Thankfully the ground was fairly flat (being inside a ghost town), and the windage markers they'd set earlier were clearly visible, while still appearing as though they were part of the landscape. Next to him, Lance Corporal Flynn McTavish was dissassembling his Heckler and Koch 416 assault rifle, inspecting the inner workings for signs of wear. Of course, the rifle was in tip-top shape. For the LCpl, it was more a comfort thing. All throughout the briefing, he'd remarked [B]"I've got a bad feeling about this Scott.."[/B] Just as Flynn was re-assembling his rifle, Scott pointed toward the horizon. [B]"Movement. 2 APC's and a truck. Game time, Flynn"[/B]. Scott loaded a fresh mag and racked the bolt, chambering a round. Flynn did likewise, also loading the M203 grenade launcher attached to the undersling piccatiny rail. He flicked the cap off his ACOG sight and rested the rifle next to him, replacing it with what looked like a single binocular lense on a mini-tripod. [B]"Range 5 miles, closing fast. Wind speed 2km/h south-west. Remember, we wait untill he exits the HumVee" [/B]he whispered to Scott, while Scott adjusted dials on his scope. Scott exhaled deeply, controlling his breathing. Game time indeed. ------ The report of the large-calibre rifle shattered the silence of the Russian ghost-town, though Sergey was dead before the sound made it to his position. The 20 militia men with him suddenly scattered like rats in the light, taking cover behind whatever they could - barrels, cars, even shrubs. There would be no more shooting though, no epic gunbattle. The sniper and his spotter were allready packed up, jogging out the rear of the destroyed chapel, headed for the extraction point. It would be a long jog, 7 miles through the muddy Russian landscape, but to the snipers it was nothing. Scott smiled as he exited the chapel, stepping into the cold wind. [B]"Money in the bank"[/B].

Sweet Jesus those names are generic.

30 minutes brah.

[QUOTE=S3CURiTR0N;16216430]30 minutes brah.[/QUOTE] It's actually a good story, what initially threw me off was the Russian antagonist being called "Sergey Karishnakov", and his nickname being "The Dark Night", it just seems like I've seen both before, many times.

Haha, true, they are generic as fuck. I just though "Something Russian" then "Snazzy nickname" and bam. I wanted to spend more time on the story than creating names and shit.

Flynn was the best part.