Hey Creationism Corner, this is my first time posting here - I have read the rules but if I do something wrong etiquette wise I apologise, just let me know and I'll stop.
Anyway! These are the first two tracks I've made since getting into making music on my computer, just because I say they're my first tracks doesn't mean they're some lame first-time FL thing or whatever. I can play the guitar quite well so musically I'm not a [I]complete[/I] newbie. I think these two tracks are at least [I]okay[/I] to listen to, so with the above in mind I was hoping people could tell me what they think and even give me a few pointers!
[LIST]
[*]This one I made using ZynAddSubFx, amSynth, Hydrogen and Ardour on Linux:
[/LIST]
[url]http://soundcloud.com/tommytinkles/real-estate[/url]
[LIST]
[*]This one I made today on my Windows partition in Ableton, with some free drum loop off a website I found (I'll credit it when I find it, it's buried in my bookmarks):[/LIST]
[url]http://soundcloud.com/tommytinkles/song1-improved[/url]
I'm typing this as I listen.
Ok, slow boring start, nothing making want to listen to it more. Some random sound with a weird drum pattern. Now a part that sound like music, nothing is really driving it and a lot of it sounds really off beat. Actually there is no beat. There is really no direction here, nothing at all that brings it back. Ok, sorry I stopped at 3 minutes and something because nothing really changed and nothing felt like it was going to change. I jumped ahead and I was right. Next song.
Random high pitched sound is weird with the chords in the beginning. Drums sound awful, but the chords sound sound decent. The swell effect just isn't working for the song. I feel like you put a muffle on the drums. Nothing is really engaging me with this song, and like with the last one there isn't much pushing it along, although it doesn't have that problem nearly as bad. Ok, now comes in a bass line that could sound cool, but it and the drums are muffled beyond belief. Random high pitched melody is more annoying than anything. I kind of like part of the drum sound at the end, but only a piece of it. Song is over.
[editline]11:49PM[/editline]
I probably sound pretty harsh. What you need to do is get used to making music with whatever program you want to use. Make more than a few songs, make a bunch, actually, just even write ideas down that you don't have any intention of making into a song. You probably shouldn't put any of your early works out there because it is beginning phase. Experiment, work on your composition. You want to grabs the listener's ear and make them want to continue listening. Yes, in music there is always a repeating element, but a good musician will make it sound good and want to hear it again and again.
I'd go for a basic song layout with verses and choruses and more parts. Going off the same idea through the whole song is hard to do because the listener get tired of listening to that.
Also, I am critiquing your song like I would any other. The fact that these are your first two electronic songs do not matter. But really, you want people's real opinions about it. You don't want them to say "oh that was good for a first song".
I have to agree, the first is super off-beat at times and it does get really repetitive. The keyboard part is kind of nice though.
The second one's keyboard part should maybe be drawn out a bit more between notes on the ones with no background noise, they sound empty. Other than that I like it.
Thanks for the comments, I've gave both another listen with your comments in mind, and you're absolutely right, especially about that high pitched sound in the second one. I don't know why I kept it in. But the drums were supposed to sound muffled and gritty, I liked how that sounded with the chords. I didn't much like the cutoff filter where it sounds all swirley though (the drums), and it does sound empty, so I'll give song a bit of a stern talking to.
As for the first one, long story short Ardour doesn't do midi, so I had to have it record from my software synth as I was playing into it, I thought I was too good for copy & paste so I just played through the whole song each track, meaning I went off-beat a lot. I agree it is repetitive and directionless though (but I did like the harmonies), I'd just keep on adding more layers just in case that made it a song, but in retrospect it needs to have a proper structure and everything.
Thanks for the comments again, I feel a bit like Jez from Peep Show, I wouldn't get this kind of feedback from people IRL.
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