Sheltering Children from Sex - General

It would seem to be an almost universally accepted principle of parenting. That would be, sheltering and condemning children from sex. Now of course the age we refer to must be defined when "children" are mentioned. For the purposes of this thread, any child who has not began puberty will suffice. The question is, has this principle been scrutinized enough? What is it parents fear of their children if they were to be exposed to what is between their own legs. Of course the question is completely absurd considering all children have seen what is dangling or not so much between theirs legs, however an interesting question is, do they understand the significance of it? This brings us to my first point which is how much of human sexuality is completely overblown? The overwhelming message children would receive from sheltering them would be an exaggeration of the significance of their genitalia. We call it their "private spot" or "special area", but how much of this importance we place on their genitals is merely a projection of our fears as parents of them being sexually assaulted? Of course this fear is illegitimate to many parents; also being what I believe to be the central source of why we shelter children from sex because we fear they will be tainted and become a deviant. But is this approach the best way of insuring they aren't victims? Ultimately I am not convinced of it. So I pose the question of, Would a open, honest approach to educating pre-pubescent children about sexuality be better? [b]Regardless of age[/b] Other than arbitrary age lines, [b]why[/b] would a child be too young to be taught sexuality? What do you or do not fear about the outcome of this?

The only thing I'd be concerned with---& am a bit already concerned with---is children becoming obsessed with impressing the opposite gender (or same gender, though that isn't considered as "cool"). I'm not looking at sexual knowledge itself being any poison to their souls or whatnot, & you see this behavior more & more regardless. But I think part of the blame is in how sexually-oriented our culture is. The idea that everyone needs to have a date, needs to look "hot" to the other gender. Kids should just be kids. Third graders should not be so concerned about their appearances or romance. That stress will enter their lives soon enough. It's not their innocence I'm referring to here, but if a little girl puts on lipstick it should be for the sake of fun, not to impress Robert. (& yet at the same time, is this just a different form of the passing of love notes during class? Is this simply a modernization of school crushes?) Now how do we separate educating children without them suddenly believing they need a boy/girlfriend to be cool? Actually, the above problem is caused entirely by the media I'm sure. I'd be curious how much "uneducated" children know already. If they do know in some degree, you may as well give them a more informed & completed understanding. Of course the child needs to be old enough to comprehend this to begin with. A three-year-old wouldn't make the best audience.

Unless you live in the Afghan Highlands or Saudi Arabia, in this day and age, you children will find out about sex. You will not be able to stop this. This will be made worse when they find out from friends and such because you have a taboo on it. With the taboo, your children will become even more interested, and then, because they don't have a clear picture because their information comes from friends (because you haven't given them any safe sex tips), they'll be more likely to make a mistake and end up pregnant and/or with an SDI.

[QUOTE=BlueChihuahua;36139038]The only thing I'd be concerned with---& am a bit already concerned with---is children becoming obsessed with impressing the opposite gender (or same gender, though that isn't considered as "cool"). I'm not looking at sexual knowledge itself being any poison to their souls or whatnot, & you see this behavior more & more regardless. But I think part of the blame is in how sexually-oriented our culture is. The idea that everyone needs to have a date, needs to look "hot" to the other gender. Kids should just be kids. Third graders should not be so concerned about their appearances or romance. That stress will enter their lives soon enough. It's not their innocence I'm referring to here, but if a little girl puts on lipstick it should be for the sake of fun, not to impress Robert. (& yet at the same time, is this just a different form of the passing of love notes during class? Is this simply a modernization of school crushes?) Now how do we separate educating children without them suddenly believing they need a boy/girlfriend to be cool? Actually, the above problem is caused entirely by the media I'm sure. I'd be curious how much "uneducated" children know already. If they do know in some degree, you may as well give them a more informed & completed understanding. Of course the child needs to be old enough to comprehend this to begin with. A three-year-old wouldn't make the best audience.[/QUOTE] The solution isn't, as download pointed out, to let children discuss these things without factual information on the subject. Worrying about the sexual aspects of a culture is silly, and in part is funded by the attitude that sex is taboo.

[QUOTE=Bletotum;36140922]The solution isn't, as download pointed out, to let children discuss these things without factual information on the subject. Worrying about the sexual aspects of a culture is silly, and in part is funded by the attitude that sex is taboo.[/QUOTE] I understand that. I'm more examining the issues of sexuality on children in general, media vs education & my idea of a perceived drawback to the atmosphere created by the former. Sex shouldn't be taboo, but sex also shouldn't be the be-all-end-all of one's credibility, & the idea of the latter seems to be seeping into younger & younger beings. Could parental guidance on the subject negate this? It's likely. But when is comes pure education, I'd imagine it'd be case-by-case. Children of the same age can vary wildly in maturity. As I wrote before, the student should be able to comprehend the discussion. I don't have kids so I can't pinpoint an ideal age for this topic, but I'm certain if I did I'd know in a heartbeat when my child's ready. Parents absolutely need to reach them as soon as they can yet also in a meaningful way. I'd imagine steps to this would be best. Discussing male vs female anatomy first, the idea of pregnancy, later discussing actual sexual intercourse, eventually introducing all the aspects of it, as soon as the child appears capable of understanding.

Knowledge of sex will not harm a child of any age. Knowing that your dong can be used with women at a later age isn't a bad thing. I'm not sure what exactly you're saying, it sounds like you think sexual education with young children would result in children acting less responsibly.

My parents never kept sex a closed subject for me ive known about it since I have been three and im not fucked up in the head nor is sex my top priority or all i think about. The reason pepole shelter there children from sex is because they dont want to take the time to tell them or there just to embarest to. I know when i have children I will not keep it closed to them if they want to know what it is I will educate them. Because when it becomes time they need to know what the fuck there doing its really stupid that we want to keep children from this its a normal thing to happen in life not a fucking disease.

[QUOTE=Bletotum;36145595]Knowledge of sex will not harm a child of any age. Knowing that your dong can be used with women at a later age isn't a bad thing. I'm not sure what exactly you're saying, it sounds like you think sexual education with young children would result in children acting less responsibly.[/QUOTE] Um, no. You seem to think I'm referring to fifth-graders here. I'm talking about 5, 6, 7-year-olds (& you can teach a 2-year-old that men & women have differing bodies & about pregnancy). Here's a metaphor: you teach a 4-year-old the names of our solar-system's planets, their order, & their general sizes. You teach an 8-year-old their compositions & precise distances from earth. Etc. I'm saying introduce the concepts in basic form, & build on it as the child ages. If they ask questions answer them: this guarantees they're actually listening & interested. & again, the first comment revolved around cultural influences on children. & I said a parent's invoice on the topic may ease a child's sense of pressure & raise their maturity on sexual concepts. I don't see where I said discussing it was bad. Even in the original comment I separated media from education. & knowledge from stress. I'm not concerned about kids boning each other. But can we agree that grade-schoolers shouldn't obsess with their appearances in the eyes of the opposite gender? That they shouldn't worry about break-ups just yet?

[QUOTE=BlueChihuahua;36148456]Um, no. You seem to think I'm referring to fifth-graders here. I'm talking about 5, 6, 7-year-olds (& you can teach a 2-year-old that men & women have differing bodies & about pregnancy). Here's a metaphor: you teach a 4-year-old the names of our solar-system's planets, their order, & their general sizes. You teach an 8-year-old their compositions & precise distances from earth. Etc. I'm saying introduce the concepts in basic form & build on it as the child ages. & again, the first comment revolved around cultural influences on children. & I said a parent's invoice on the topic may ease a child's sense of pressure & raise their maturity on sexual concepts. I don't see where I said discussing it was bad. Even in the original comment I separated media from education. & knowledge from stress. I'm not concerned about kids boning each other. But can we agree that grade-schoolers shouldn't obsess with their appearances in the eyes of the opposite gender? That they shouldn't worry about break-ups just yet?[/QUOTE] A kid should know what is happening before it is too late, if you finish him with the where to stick it discussion when he is twelve it may already be too late. [editline]31st May 2012[/editline] Not to mention, they WILL hear about it at a very young age and I mean VERY. And when they do and try to imitate it they will humiliate themselves because they have no idea what it is about. When I was about five I saw a bunch of teenagers waving a waterbottle on ones crotch and laughing about it. I had no idea what the joke was but tried to imitate it at school to get laughs only to be mocked and sent home.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanzer;36148595]A kid should know what is happening before it is too late, if you finish him with the where to stick it discussion when he is twelve it may already be too late.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]I'm talking about 5, 6, 7-year-olds[/QUOTE] As in where just about everything is revealed.

I don't care what people do, I just want the over sexualisation of society to die the hell down, people need to stop making sex out to be a bigger thing than it really is.

It's the sheltering that makes it a big deal, If we stop sheltering Sex doesn't remain a "Big Deal"

[QUOTE=BlueChihuahua;36148456]Um, no. You seem to think I'm referring to fifth-graders here. I'm talking about 5, 6, 7-year-olds (& you can teach a 2-year-old that men & women have differing bodies & about pregnancy). Here's a metaphor: you teach a 4-year-old the names of our solar-system's planets, their order, & their general sizes. You teach an 8-year-old their compositions & precise distances from earth. Etc. I'm saying introduce the concepts in basic form, & build on it as the child ages. If they ask questions answer them: this guarantees they're actually listening & interested. & again, the first comment revolved around cultural influences on children. & I said a parent's invoice on the topic may ease a child's sense of pressure & raise their maturity on sexual concepts. I don't see where I said discussing it was bad. Even in the original comment I separated media from education. & knowledge from stress. I'm not concerned about kids boning each other. But can we agree that grade-schoolers shouldn't obsess with their appearances in the eyes of the opposite gender? That they shouldn't worry about break-ups just yet?[/QUOTE] Why do you think that the early education of children on mature subjects would result in child drama?

Tell them everything about it in a biological way at age six.

I find that as long as they can't have sex, there's no need to go in deep detail with it. If they ask about at age 8, I'd just tell them the basics and be done with it. When they can have sex however - tell them everything. We had courses in everything from sex diseases to positions, at age 14. A little late, but we had some when we were 12 as well. That was mostly just about condoms, how to use them, and what other kind of protection you can utilize.

Why withhold any information to children of any age? It doesn't matter if the children are too young to fully understand it; children develop at different rates.

[QUOTE=Mr. Smartass;36166793]Tell them everything about it in a biological way at age six.[/QUOTE] The biological workings are for biology class, sex education is about educating them about the dangers and how to do it safely so I'd say no to that. We need to reduce the amount of sexualisation in society and removing the mystery of it is the way to do it.

For many, this is a touchy subject. Nonetheless, one shouldn't shelter one's kid from sexuality; make sure that they understand how things work when they're ready, perhaps around the ages of 8-10, and when puberty hits ensure that they're responsible in terms of sexuality. By this, I [B]don't[/B] mean strive to keep them straight, since that ain't kosher; what I mean by "responsible sexuality" is making sure they don't do anything stupid like sneak into "private girl areas" like locker rooms or women's bathrooms, as well as being smart on a machine and knowing the values of stealth. Being smart online is pretty much vital, since if you act stupidly when searching for porn, one could accidentally end up going to a site that infects your machine with malware, though this also applies to anything that involves downloads and online money stuff. If on a shared computer, deleting one's recent internet history after a session of "rubbing one out" is a good idea, and sometimes it's a good idea even for a private machine. Hiding any stashes one makes is also an important factor, be the porn on a machine or in an adult magazine (or even on video and DVD, if people still do that). Stealth would also be a very important factor in terms of keeping one's "personal intimacies" just that; personal. Keeping quiet and planning out timings is important, since ensuring your family (and friends) don't know that you're rubbing out the easy pearls is paramount to a successful uninterrupted session, without the awkward silence at the dinner table as Fundamentalist Christian Mom silently judges you with thinly-veiled disappointment and despair as she passes you the bread basket, wondering what went so wrong that her little angel ended up sinning to pictures of technicolour ponies. (if your kid gets a pony fetish, stamp it out quickly, no questions asked) As for realms beyond porn and maintaining control over one's urges, it'd be important to teach one's kid to respect the opposite sex (and the same sex, if they swing that way); to not treat them as objects of desire but instead as people like themselves, striving not just for simple personal joys but also for those of their significant other. If they respect you and do you good, do the same unto them. As well as relationship advice, teach them to respect the sexualities of others, and to ensure that no-one gets hurt because of homophobic hate, though a [B]bit[/B] of slapping around of the homophobic little git, followed by a stern lecture on thinking for oneself and respecting the sexuality of others, is kosher in my Torah. Also teach them about protection and safe practices, just to be sure. And that's my 2 pence on the matter; i've gotta go to bed, but first I have a "hard drive" to "boot up", if you know what I mean... [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=bqtwh1yZgC4#t=36s"]*bradsherwood.avi*[/URL]

I actually had Sex ed in 2nd grade (8-9 yearold). Not like the one you get when you get older but we learnt what the difference between boys and girls genitalia, the proper names and how "Mommy and Daddy snuggled enough to make you". As far I'm aware my mind is not ruined with thoughts of a sexual predator nor are they fillet with thoughts that the people I pass on the sidewalk will try touch my "special place"

We had sex ed in second grade as well, but I don't think sheltering children from sex will do much harm anyways, they'll know about it eventually. One kid will stumble upon his dad's porn mags and then go tell the other kids about it thus making any efforts to shelter the kids worthless. That's pretty much what happened around the first grade for me anyways. However of course that's not a guaranteed scenario, sexual education should at least be done in school at a point, probably around fifth of sixth grade as kids enter puberty. Honestly though, I'd hate to see young kids (younger than say fifteen) engrossed in sex culture. The year seven boys at my school are absolutely disgraceful. [editline]8th June 2012[/editline] I actually really hate how massive sex is in our culture today.

The solution isn't to let children discuss sex after finding out about it with a childish attitude. Early education is key, you did not explain why you think children should have to wait until puberty.

The problem these days is that in school is that they don't explain it thoroughly. When I went to school, they told us what the female and male parts were, though they didn't explain sexual intercourse, and only told us how the quickest sperm cell fertilised the egg. If not explained well enough, boys and girls and going to get curious and you know... However, Social media plays a huge role in exploiting young people (10-15) in sexual confrontations. Example: A boy was watching tv while his mother was outside hanging out the washing, and ad came on for a tv show with a women wearing bra's and undies. Then the boy get's excited and curious, jumps on the internet and searches for girls... He will then realise that he is starting to take an interest in girls and encourages himself and others to find out for himself what lies under those bra and undies.... which will encourage teenage pregnancy. Also, these days we are also finding out that children are starting to hit puberty at a younger age. I have heard Indian girls get pregnant at 9 years old... But hitting puberty will always be natural, but masturbation is considered natural for boys? aged (14-18)

Actually there's like two or three kids at my old school (Transferred) who were told how kids/babies were born at a young age (early grade school). They are indeed deviants, perverts, frequent masturbators, and quite obnoxious. Children are more fragile and whatever happens in early life kind of sets the course for the rest of it. Wat you're suggesting is almost like saying, "Hell, we shouldn't 'hide' the Holocaust, ((Even though the only places to censor the event is Germany and some other places)), let's teach the third graders about how they tortured the Jewish people and all the other graphic events of the Holocaust."

Norway's p. open about sex ed, and though we have one of the highest one-night-stand stats in the world we also have one of the lowest teenage pregnancy rates of the western world. Pregnancies per 1000 women under 18. [IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/ff/Teenage_birth_rate_per_1000_women_15–19%2C_2000-09.svg[/IMG]

[QUOTE=mac338;36669794]Norway's p. open about sex ed, and though we have one of the highest one-night-stand stats in the world we also have one of the lowest teenage pregnancy rates of the western world. Pregnancies per 1000 women under 18.[/IMG][/QUOTE] Boy, Chile sure likes to get it on

[QUOTE=mac338;36669794]Norway's p. open about sex ed, and though we have one of the highest one-night-stand stats in the world we also have one of the lowest teenage pregnancy rates of the western world. Pregnancies per 1000 women under 18. [IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/ff/Teenage_birth_rate_per_1000_women_15–19%2C_2000-09.svg[/IMG][/QUOTE]Grey is no data, right? Seems odd that Finland has no data on this type of thing.

[QUOTE=Sgt Doom;36670928]Grey is no data, right? Seems odd that Finland has no data on this type of thing.[/QUOTE] They're covering it up. Secretly using under aged girls to spawn a massive army to conquer the world. [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/UbK60.gif[/IMG]

[QUOTE=Toyhobo;36671131]They're covering it up. Secretly using under aged girls to spawn a massive army to conquer the world. [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/UbK60.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE]To be honest I think our census office just got drunk one morning and forgot where they put the papers. Either that or they're assuming pregnant teens are just fat :v:

-Snip, forgot it was a debate thread, sorry guys!-

[QUOTE=Sgt Doom;36671236]To be honest I think our census office just got drunk one morning and forgot where they put the papers. Either that or they're assuming pregnant teens are just fat :v:[/QUOTE] Koskenkorva is a hell of a drink.