[IMG]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4565878/sealpaw/logo.png[/IMG]
So I've always had the intention to making funny hurr-hurr comics, whether or not I'm good at it. Here's making an effort to churn out 2-3 strips a week.
This week
[IMG]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4565878/sealpaw/12.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4565878/sealpaw/13.jpg[/IMG]
High quality, great job.
Few recommendations - add simple shading and backgrounds throughout. Having read the comic, I assume they are in a dark cave looking at wall carvings/ cave paintings, but that actually only becomes evident in the 3rd panel where it seems like he's holding his torch up to the wall to illuminate it. Then I go to the 4th panel and think "wait, is this still in the cave?" I assume they transported this guy to a museum or something, but the only thing indicating that is the "exhibit A" sign.
I would add one of those velvet-looking string fences and a silhouetted crowd to the side, and make the first 2 panels generally darker than the 4th.
Anyway, I went way more in depth than I needed to, good job.
That took me 50 years to possibly get.
This caveman was discovered to be the copyright owner of stickmen? It's really vague and unclear what the punchline really is. The "exhibit a" sign kind of makes the whole exhibit thing seem really important which doesn't make much sense and makes me wonder if the (c) is actually exhibit C instead of the copyright sign.
I also dislike how the two first panels are completely black & white, yet the third panel uses a very visible gradient and the last panel has a ton of colour on it. It doesn't really work together very well, I would liven up the two first panels with some splotches of colour to make it all work together more. or maybe just remove the gradient on the third panel to make the last panel the only one to stick out.
Made me laugh. Great one! I don't think it was hard to get, I understood it directly.
Although a name after the copyright mark might make some people understand it faster.
I got it in 2 seconds, dgg you should get your brain checked.
I like the joke but you should probably work on how you present it.
[QUOTE=dgg;38085243]That took me 50 years to possibly get.
This caveman was discovered to be the copyright owner of stickmen? It's really vague and unclear what the punchline really is. The "exhibit a" sign kind of makes the whole exhibit thing seem really important which doesn't make much sense and makes me wonder if the (c) is actually exhibit C instead of the copyright sign.
I also dislike how the two first panels are completely black & white, yet the third panel uses a very visible gradient and the last panel has a ton of colour on it. It doesn't really work together very well, I would liven up the two first panels with some splotches of colour to make it all work together more. or maybe just remove the gradient on the third panel to make the last panel the only one to stick out.[/QUOTE]
I see.. But if there's any excuse it's that I'm still experimenting with how much effort to put into rendering each picture relative to the output. It took an unnaturally long time to do the line art for the first two frames and then I'm only motivated so much to render the implicitness, i.e. should I really try to make the money actually look like stacks of paper when I could just color it green? I also had the intention of doing an orangy lighting around the lantern but again, I'm pretty lazy.
I'm gonna see if drawing on paper and scanning it is gonna make the process any easier though.
wow dgg you're looking 2 deep into it
it's good. keep it up
[QUOTE=Boone_Sedford;38088286]I see.. But if there's any excuse it's that I'm still experimenting with how much effort to put into rendering each picture relative to the output. It took an unnaturally long time to do the line art for the first two frames and then I'm only motivated so much to render the implicitness, i.e. should I really try to make the money actually look like stacks of paper when I could just color it green? I also had the intention of doing an orangy lighting around the lantern but again, I'm pretty lazy.
I'm gonna see if drawing on paper and scanning it is gonna make the process any easier though.[/QUOTE]
nono, the green on the money stack is good. I complained about the lack of colour and/or lightning on the two first panels in contrast to the two last. It makes the panels feel disconnected since they're so different. Simply removing the gradient from the third panel would fix everything up because everything would be consistently clean black and white and then the last panel gives emphasis on the important part, the money and gives a nice contrast with it's use of colour.
[editline]18th October 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=strider;38088170]I got it in 2 seconds, dgg you should get your brain checked.[/QUOTE]
Hey, what would you know, people percieve things differently and expect different things.
Perhaps you should try to avoid large areas of colour solely in the last panel. It sort of draws the eye straight to the punchline before you have even started reading the comic.
[QUOTE=dgg;38089069]
Hey, what would you know, people percieve things differently and expect different things.[/QUOTE]
it's a copyright sign and a pile of cash
what else is there to expect
[QUOTE=strider;38100562]it's a copyright sign and a pile of cash
what else is there to expect[/QUOTE]
I read into things, I try to grasp the meaning of everything represented in the work. It's because people think and look differently we get logos that looks like butts getting it in the ass and dentists having sex with their patients.
So my mind starts trying to connect things together, and seeing as an exhibition where there is a skeleton with a ton of cash doesn't actually make any sense because why would a skeleton get money and what does an exhibition have to do with a cave and the exhibition is called A and the stickman is marked with C my brain gets confused.
I personally still find it confusing just purely visually. Does it even need the exhibit sign? Wouldn't the joke actually benefit from just having him sit there as a dead skeleton with a pile of money?
[t]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/3655193/Maybethiscouldwork.jpg[/t]
dude you're looking 2 deep into it.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/W4Ur9.png[/img]
[QUOTE=MenteR;38101279]dude you're looking 2 deep into it.[/QUOTE]
Yes I've already admitted that, congratulations on repeating what I said myself.
What's wrong with giving critique to help get the point across further to get rid of possible confusion?
[QUOTE=lucky;38101391][img]http://i.imgur.com/W4Ur9.png[/img][/QUOTE]
Beautiful...
Also, new one for Friday is up.
[IMG]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4565878/sealpaw/6.png[/IMG]
[edit] First one if you haven't seen it.
[IMG]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4565878/sealpaw/5.png[/IMG]