[release][img]http://cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/library/deriv/65/65246.jpg[/img]
Devolver Digital has given up on plans to launch its own digital distribution service and will instead just release Serious Sam 3: BFE on Steam, where people might actually want to buy it.
The upcoming shooter Serious Sam 3: BFE was originally intended to debut on Devolver Digital's new, proprietary distribution platform, codenamed "Krundle." Following further study, however, Devolver CFO and massage parlor enthusiast Fork Parker decided to pull the plug on the whole thing.
"I think we could have revolutionized how I make a shitload of money," Parker said in a statement. "But the reality is, Steam is an amazing digital platform. That's where we want to distribute our top-tier titles like Serious Sam 3: BFE to generate the kind of revenue it takes to buy things like velvet-covered jet skis. Holy crap, did I just invent those?"
Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200. And while Devolver has been forced to step back from the project, Parker said it would continue to do its best to make good games and also reminded consumers that other distribution platforms remain available.
[b]"I guess consumers could also sign up for EA's Origin service if they're into ten-year-old train simulators,"[/b] he said. "But you can be sure those sons of bitches will never deliver in-game nachos."
Serious Sam 3: BFE comes out later this year on the PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. And no, we still don't know what BFE means.[/release]
[url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/111969-Serious-Sam-Studio-Zings-EAs-Origin]Permalink[/url]
"Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200. And while Devolver has been forced to step back from the project, Parker said it would continue to do its best to make good games and also reminded consumers that other distribution platforms remain available."
What the fuck did I just read?
Why does he have to turn every sentence into a shitty joke? besides that i'm glad he realized another DD system is a bad idea.
[QUOTE=Kabstraction;31435117]"Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200. And while Devolver has been forced to step back from the project, Parker said it would continue to do its best to make good games and also reminded consumers that other distribution platforms remain available."
What the fuck did I just read?[/QUOTE]
It doesnt matter what you just read. Were getting In game nachos.
[QUOTE=Kabstraction;31435117]"Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200. And while Devolver has been forced to step back from the project, Parker said it would continue to do its best to make good games and also reminded consumers that other distribution platforms remain available."
What the fuck did I just read?[/QUOTE]
Devolver is seriously the best publisher ever. All their press releases are gold.
[quote=Devolver]“Holy crap, I am going to make a boatload of cash of this game,” said Fork Parker, chief financial officer at Devolver Digital, the Serious Sam 3: BFE publisher. “I mean that’s what this is all about, right? If this thing comes out in the summer my wife is totally getting the tit job she’s been asking for.”[/quote]
From their Serious Sam 3 announcement.
[editline]30th July 2011[/editline]
[quote=Devolver]When asked for further comment, Fork replied, “Bam. Tit job.”[/quote]
[QUOTE=Kabstraction;31435117]"Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200. And while Devolver has been forced to step back from the project, Parker said it would continue to do its best to make good games and also reminded consumers that other distribution platforms remain available."
What the fuck did I just read?[/QUOTE]
First Google result for Krundle: "The fleshy area in between the anus and vaginal region covered in a dried up vaginal fluid in the form of sparkling crust."
Uhhh
[quote]I think we could have revolutionized how I make a shitload of money[/quote] Honesty like a boss. Makes me want to get this game even more.
[quote]Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200.[/quote]
Steam I'm having unfaithful thoughts.
krundle, ha
[QUOTE=Atlascore;31435131]"And no, we still don't know what BFE means."
Butt Fuck Egypt
Or Before First Encounter
It's one of those, I forgot which.[/QUOTE]
SS3 is a prequel to First Encounter right?
Either way, both names make sense because First Encounter was all in an Egyptian setting.
[QUOTE=postmanX3;31435740]Devolver is seriously the best publisher ever. All their press releases are gold.
From their Serious Sam 3 announcement.
[editline]30th July 2011[/editline][/QUOTE]
Most badass devs of the year, every year, of all years.
[QUOTE=Atlascore;31435131]"And no, we still don't know what BFE means."
Butt Fuck Egypt
Or Before First Encounter
It's one of those, I forgot which.[/QUOTE]
Isn't is battle for earth?
[QUOTE=SappinMyNick;31436135]Isn't is battle for earth?[/QUOTE]
No, it stands for Battlefield Earth
[img]http://www.iwannawatch.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Battlefield-Earth.jpg[/img]
That comment about the dev giving his wife a titjob on release is also pretty gold.
His entire wordplay is golden.
Who are these glorious bastards I desire to work for them
:golfclap:
Hahaha what the fuck. These guys are great. :v:
Origin isnt that bad... I don't use it all the time but I use it to download some of my EA published games with.
[QUOTE=doonbugie2;31437998]Origin isnt that bad... I don't use it all the time but I use it to download some of my EA published games with.[/QUOTE]
Better not log out for 2 years.
[QUOTE=Ven Kaeo;31438071]Better not log out for 2 years.[/QUOTE]
Just backup the installers; it's not a big deal.
I do it for my Steam games too because downloading a 12gb game more than once is pain in the ass.
[QUOTE=Ven Kaeo;31438071]Better not log out for 2 years.[/QUOTE]
Who goes back to an account after not having touched it for 2 years, exactly?
[editline]30th July 2011[/editline]
And I don't think it said that they WILL be removed only that they CAN be removed, although I could be wrong. Don't really follow any origin news.
[QUOTE=RichyZ;31439196]as a customer service person said, the account is deactivated, but upon request, will be reactivated[/QUOTE]
So you get everything back anyway.
[QUOTE=Ven Kaeo;31438071]Better not log out for 2 years.[/QUOTE]
I contacted EA and they told me that infact, my games will never expire so long as I don't cancel my account via EA Account control panel.
[editline]30th July 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=RichyZ;31439196]as a customer service person said, the account is deactivated, but upon request, will be reactivated[/QUOTE]
Aka, log back in after two years and it reactivates.
That was quite funny, it's good to see such an environment in this industry.
Watch EA get butthurt and sue them because EA is run by a bunch of butthurt buttholes.
[QUOTE=doonbugie2;31439535]I contacted EA and they told me that infact, my games will never expire so long as I don't cancel my account via EA Account control panel.[/QUOTE]
You can cancel your account?
That doesn't sound like a good idea, what if the account is hijacked?
[QUOTE=Kabstraction;31435117]"Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200. And while Devolver has been forced to step back from the project, Parker said it would continue to do its best to make good games and also reminded consumers that other distribution platforms remain available."
What the fuck did I just read?[/QUOTE]
Yeah thats about the attitude I would expect from the people who put out serious sam.
[QUOTE=Electrocuter;31439885]You can cancel your account?
That doesn't sound like a good idea, what if the account is hijacked?[/QUOTE]
Then you contact EA support and they undo the option? I just looked into it, you have to provide your name, date of birth, email and password to cancel it. I think its email verified aswell. Kind of fucking sad how people bash software they havent even used... they just jump on the bandwagon.
[QUOTE]"I think we could have revolutionized how I make a shitload of money," Parker said in a statement.[/QUOTE]
I lol'd.
Portuguese porn? Nachos?, God damn steam hire this man, he knows how to sell products.
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