The story about how my moms dildo bro - General

[b]the story about how my moms dildo broke[/b] Ok so I had this insane party on sunday, late in the night people went searching trough my moms bra's and underwear. Well, they found a dildo and during the party they were throwing it and shit but I didn't care because I was wasted. Next morning I was cleaning everything and I found the dildo and it was fucking broken. I was like fuck my life but then I knew I had to make a decision, it couldn't be fixed anymore so I had to throw it away in hopes my mom never uses the dildo anymore to find out someone took it from there. Now this is where you guys got to help me, what do I say when she confronts me with his issue? Tl;dr: wat do ): [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Blog-quality thread" - SteveUK))[/highlight]

Your mom dildos your bro

Your mom has a dildo? You're obviously not doing your job. Get in there, son!

get a new one and give it to her yourself

shit man duck tape it back and attach a note saying "sorry mom I had to get my fix"

find out what it's manufacturer is and order a new one. If you post pics I'm sure someone could find where you could buy a new one.

[QUOTE=SergeantDead;25522172]go to your nearest adult store and get one that looks like it and secretively put it back it shouldn't be hard to figure out[/QUOTE] Professional dildo fixers. This kid is no more than 12 so he can't just waltz in to a adult store.

I doubt she'll say a thing. She'll just pretend it never happened.

Tell her to blow you. She will forget all about the dildo when she sees your small penis.

[QUOTE=NickFury666;25522205]I doubt she'll say a thing. She'll just pretend it never happened.[/QUOTE] I thought this too, thanks for confirming hope.

Shove the broken bits into your anus Like a real man

You're fucked. Enjoy your fuckedness.

1. Cut a hole in the bottom of the draws. 2. Make sure theres enough room for you to get in. 3. Put your dick in the draw. And only time will know of step 4.

dildoes

[QUOTE=DienDwemar;25522433]1. Cut a hole in the bottom of the draws. 2. Make sure theres enough room for you to get in. 3. Put your dick in the draw. And only time will know of step 4.[/QUOTE] 4. Proceed to get ur dick ripped off because of how horny your mom is at that time.

Apologize? It's an embarrassing issue to drag on anyway.

Well that's bad. Yeah, try to replace it otherwise it's kind of dickish. Your mother can't exactly bring it up, "Son what have you done with my dildo? I kind of need it right now."

Obvious troll is obvious. Report and move along.

replace it with a twilight dildo

cut off dick, offer as dildo problem solved?

Tell her that you broke it using it.

Have it hanging on a string (the broken thing) outside her bedroom door on Halloween morning.

[QUOTE=Rong;25522505]Apologize? It's an embarrassing issue to drag on anyway.[/QUOTE] "Mom i broke you're dildo!" "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THAT AND HOW DID YOU BREAK IT. GROUNDED FOR LIFE" Grounded. Wanna try again?

I found my cousins dildo once, it was weird.

clench your fist.. really hard. Then proceed to amputate from your elbow up, give mom you amputated fist arm to replace the dildo .. You'll be getting one hell of a weekly allowance :)

Hah reminds me of the time I found a dildo in my uncle's room accidentally. Of course I kept it a secret.

[QUOTE=Domokun;25523927]Hah reminds me of the time I found a dildo in my uncle's room accidentally. Of course I kept it a secret.[/QUOTE] :byodood:

Your mom's dildo, bro. Its huge.

[QUOTE=Not Dumb;25524579]Your mom's dildo bro. Its huge.[/QUOTE] what a first post :D *high five*

Slap it around the environment a little, in hope it fixes itself.